Someday We'll Know
by JessElyse
Summary: I couldn't do this, I knew it wasn't right. Alice didn't seem to agree, flinging the box with rings at me. "Damn you, Edward. You had the chance to make Bella yours and you ruined it. I hope for your sake, you don't come to regret it". AH
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys! I've been working on this new story for ages and ages, started it around the same time as Girl of my Dreams, so thought i'd put it up here for you guys to read. **

**This message is to those who are eagerly waiting the new chapter of Girl of my Dreams and are probably wondering why i've decided to post this new story:**

**Partly, cause i'm dying to know what you guys think of it. And also because I've just come down with the flu (No, not swine flu) so i can barely sit up for more then five minutes without collapsing with sheer exhaustion lol. While i keep attempting to write, thought you could read the first chapter of this one. =) Let me know if you want me to keep posting it. **

**Hope you all enjoy it! **

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**Someday We'll Know.**

"_I know it sounds silly Edward, I just think maybe it would be the right thing to do. If you want"._

"_You're not being silly, Bella. I love you, you'll be coming to college and we'll be living together. You're right. I guess we should"._

"_We don't have to, it's just a suggestion--"_

"_Ssh, Bella I love you. I want to."_

"_So?"_

"_So? Oh, right. Isabella Swan…Will you marry me?"_

"_Yes"._

"_Thank you. I love you."_

"_I love you too, Edward"._

**Bella's POV.**

My eyes flew open and I breathed out steadily. My legs felt numb, and I gently moved them only to feel Edward's legs intertwined with mine and his arms tighten around me.

I smiled contently and rested back against his chest. My fingers on my left hand scraped the pillow, and I pulled back to see my engagement ring. I was getting married to the beautiful bronze-haired boy next to me, and I still couldn't believe he was for me. I wasn't good enough for him. I was plain Isabella Swan, and he…well he was nothing short of beautiful at newly twenty three years old. He was too good looking to call him hot, or cute. He was just breathtaking. Edward Cullen.

"Edward". I whispered softly, trying to get out of his grip. I had an early class today, as I was studying journalism. Edward was studying to be a doctor, and doing so well. I was so proud of him. He was in his third year, I was still in my first. He was two years older then me.

"Not yet, babe". He murmured against my hair.

I chuckled and tugged at his arms gently. "Yes, now. I'm going to be late."

He sighed and let me go. I turned around to see him pouting slightly and couldn't help but laugh. His hair was always a mess, but he still looked stunning. I loved him a great deal, too much for my own good.

I leaned down and kissed his cheek, his chin, and a light trail down his neck. "I love you," I whispered against his skin.

"Mmm. Me too". He mumbled tiredly and arched his neck slightly. I smiled and kissed his neck one more time before leaning up to kiss his forehead. "I'll make you breakfast and leave it on the table, okay?"

"Sure." He nodded, still not bothering to open his eyes.

I gently stroked the hair out of his face, unable to get over the fact that I loved this man with everything I ever had, or could offer. We had been together since I was sixteen and he was eighteen, yet we had been friends before that from school. Forks High School, where we both grew up. I had missed him terribly when he graduated and went to go to college in NYU but he insisted he still wanted to remain together regardless of the distance. It was a hard two years, but he came back whenever he could, holidays…weekends…to be with me. I trusted him with my life, and never worried about anything else only that he still wanted me.

This made our relationship stronger, and he was happy when I graduated and could join him at NYU. Carlisle and Esme Cullen, who were like family to me, were very wealthy and had already bought him an apartment. Edward insisted I live with him, and I was overjoyed. I accepted immediately, and as a true gentleman, Edward had come himself and taken me to live with him. Charlie, my father, even did the traditional thing and shook his hand with a stern; "Take care of my daughter, boy".

I couldn't help but smile at that. I was nineteen, and hopelessly in love. What more could a girl want, then to move in with the guy she loves?

When we had just begun to move in, the second night, Edward had taken me out to celebrate for a romantic night out. I decided to tell him my thoughts…thoughts I had been thinking about for a long time. Marriage. I came from very moral family, in which my father and mother brought me up to wait for marriage for sex, and especially before moving in with someone.

It was hard on Edward, I wasn't stupid. He told me he had loved me since were children, and that he would wait forever for that, and that it didn't matter as long as he had me.

At nineteen he probably thought I was naïve, but I wasn't. I could feel his arousal whenever we'd lie down and make out for hours, which would usually end up with him out of his shirt and me in my bra. I'd always have to be the one to stop, and I know it killed him.

He never once made me feel guilty, and that would only make it worse. I'd cry when I was alone, feeling like a horrible girlfriend. Alice Cullen, my best friend and Edward's little sister, would come over and comfort me, saying something very Alice-like;

"Don't worry Bella. He's jacking it off. Guys do it all the time".

"Alice!" I joked and hit her playfully.

Sure enough a pillow fight had emerged and it was all forgotten. Until it happened again. It was a vicious cycle, and that's when I knew I loved him, and wanted to give myself to him. Desperately. And I knew marriage was the right way.

He had seemed a little stunned, but that disappeared after a moment and he nodded in agreement. I immediately insisted no, not if he wasn't ready. He spent the whole dinner trying to convince me he was, and it was a wonderful idea. He told me how much he wanted me, and that marriage would only confirm what he already know; That we would always be together.

I had smiled at that and before I knew it he had gotten down and proposed.

My tears got the better of me and I squealed a very embarrassing "Yes!" and it was done. That weekend he had taken me ring shopping, and had picked out a beautiful one with two diamond stones. Like I said, he was very wealthy.

I insisted it was too much but he didn't listen to me and purchased it, sliding it on my third finger of my left hand and kissing my fingers. It was done. I smiled at him and told him I loved him, and from that moment it never left my hand.

So here we were two months later, and the wedding was in week.

My ring sparkled through the light that illuminated through our blinds, as I stroked his hair. I felt him drift off again, and got up gently so not to wake him again.

I often slept in Edward's shirts, they were ridiculously comfortable. I got up and ruffled my already messy waist-long hair, before heading out to the kitchen. I put the kettle on and tided up Edward's notes that he left on the table. Yesterday afternoon he had a test, so he'd spent all morning studying with papers everywhere. After he got back, he had gone straight to bed, so the kitchen was still in the state he left it. I worked quickly to tidy everything up for him.

My cell vibrated on the table, and I quickly picked it up as I reached for a mug.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Bells!"

I smiled. "Hey Aly. What's up?"

"Just wondering if tonight, you guys want to come over after class? Emmett and Jasper are coming over."

"Sure. Edward and I are going to buy our wedding rings later this afternoon, we have them on lay by. Then after we can probably drop in. Let me check it over with Edward though, ok? I'll message you back."

"No worries. Catch you later Bells."

"Bye". I hung up the phone and placed it back down. Alice was not only Edward's little sister, but my best friend. She lived on campus with her friend Rosalie Hale. Rose was nice and very, very beautiful, but we didn't connect as much as Alice and I, did. We were friends, though. Just not overly close.

Jasper Hale was Rosalie's sister and Alice's boyfriend, and Emmett McCarty was Jasper's best friend and Rosalie's boyfriend. Both Jasper and Emmett were also best friends of Edward. We were all a good bunch, and good friends. We hung out a lot after class.

When they were younger, Edward and Alice both received a gift from their parents for graduating. Edward never wanted anything, and therefore was given the apartment to live in. Alice however, asked for a Porsche, yellow to be exact. Therefore she couldn't have both, and was quite happy to live on campus. Unfortunately on campus boys and girls cant live together, so Emmett and Jasper lived together in a dorm, while Rose and Alice lived in another. They were so close that it didn't really matter, they were always in each other's dorms.

Edward and I lived only five minutes away, so it wasn't far.

I sat down on our table with my chamomile tea and toast, hurrying to finish so I wouldn't be late to class. As I was gulping down my second toast, I quickly made Edward's breakfast, frying bacon and eggs for him. It was his favorite, though he never admitted it; he'd always say anything was fine.

I quickly sipped the rest of my tea, washing the mug and my plate and putting it away to leave the kitchen tidy for him. I then placed his breakfast on the table and covered it so it wouldn't get cold. Satisfied, I wiped my hands on my tea towel and placed it out the back to dry.

I glanced at the clock on the microwave, and realized I only had half an hour to get ready. I quickly ran for the bathroom, taking with me my underwear and picking out any outfit. I wasn't fashion conscious like Alice was. I loved my jeans, and sneakers. I rarely wore heels, unless Alice forced me into them when we went out.

Showering quickly, I washed my hair and towel dried it. My hair was naturally wavy with a few little curls, so I didn't have to worry too much about styling it. Alice and Rose always said they wished they had my hair, but I only laughed and told them how crazy it was to manage at times. I often considered cutting it, but Edward told me he loved my hair long. So I left it. Anything that pleased him, I'd be willing to do.

I pulled on my jeans and sneakers, before picking out a cute white frilly top. I brushed my teeth quickly and sprayed a light perfume. It smelt like freesias, it was lovely. According to all my friends and Edward, it was 'my own smell' now. I didn't really like make up a great deal, but I always wore a little just to cover blemishes. I never needed blush considering I blushed like crazy naturally. I applied a little bit of mascara before stepping back and checking my reflection. Happy, I grabbed my ton of books for class and my keys, before popping back into the bedroom to see Edward still asleep.

I smiled and tip-toed over, brushing his hair gently back.

"I'm going now, ok? I love you."

"Mmmm". He moaned softly.

"Have a good day". I lightly kissed his lips and forehead. He looked so adorable asleep, I couldn't help but smile. I headed back out and closed the apartment with my keys, as he had his own.

**Edward's POV.**

"Have a good day". I felt her gentle lips against mine, and against my forehead before she left. The minute I heard the door lock, I sighed and turned over on back, rubbing my eyes.

I sighed and figured I might as well get up. So much shit to do, though my big exam was over and done with.

I managed to drag myself out of bed, smelling the aftermath of Bella's scent in my room. She thinks its her perfume, but she actually has a very distinct scent, one that I could pick up on straight away, especially on her pillow next to mine.

I smirked and headed into the kitchen. God love the girl, she had cooked me bacon and eggs again. I removed the cover and sat down.

"God yes". I moaned, filling my mouth with whatever was on the plate. Bella was an amazing cook, I never complained with whatever he made. In fact, I never had much of a complaint about her overall. Bella had been mine for three years, almost four. Falling in love with her when we were teenagers, I knew I had to have her to myself. We started dating when she was sixteen, I was eighteen. I loved her in a crazy, insane way and that was because she was the only girl in my life I'd ever had. Don't get me wrong, I had been a bit of a player before when she was just my friend. She never knew what I did out on weekends, when I'd go out and drink and hook up with many girls. I had sex with two, but never got in contact with them again. I never wanted a relationship with any of them anyway, and that's when I discovered the obvious reason, being that I only wanted to be with Bella. That's what I thought at least, many years ago.

My girl was proper, and moral, and I loved that about her, and hated it at the same time. When we were still in high school, it was fine. I loved her, I would wait. But when I went away for two years to college without her, it drove me insane. I'd return to her whenever I could, and we'd kiss and caress each other for hours on end, but she never wanted to go the full way. It would have been fine except when I went back to college I had girls on me all too often, more then willing to give me what Bella was not.

I had never been so tempted in my life. Bella had a petite figure, a small five foot four inches. She had always been attractive to me, yet I hadn't imagined anything more attractive untill I saw the women at college. Because that's what they were--women. Beautiful curves and those cleavages leading down to what must not be far off double D sized breasts. Nothing like what my Bella had.

Her body was simple, she had little curves and small breasts. She wasn't anything like these women who tempted the fuck out of me with their bodies.

Yet every time a girl would come onto me, making suggestive comments…I'd think about Bella and how much I knew she loved me, as I loved her. Although it'd be hard, I'd refuse. I never cheated on her, and I was damn proud of being strong enough to resist it. I didn't want to loose Bella, and that was enough.

Knowing Bella trusted me implicitly made me feel horrible when girls would brush up against me, dance with me at semester parties, move their bodies against me and I _would_ be aroused. I hated I was weak, but I hadn't had actual sex in almost four years. The last time was a few weeks before I confessed my love to Bella. When I did that, I knew I was bringing myself into a relationship were I had to be ultimately and completely committed to her, and I gave up the lifestyle I was used to.

All the time I think to myself I never deserved Bella, and feel honestly lucky to have her in my life. So I would spoil her, let her know how much she meant to me.

I was happy when she finally graduated so she could move in. Naturally I had hoped that if we were living together she might want to take our physical relationship to the last level, but she refused. It was alright though, as I reminded myself I didn't care as long as she was happy. Her happiness was the most important thing.

So when I took her out one night, and she mentioned the concept of marriage, my mind shut down and I couldn't think. Marriage?

I couldn't help but think I was still a kid at twenty three, and almost felt the urge to laugh. Only I knew Bella was dead serious. I wanted at first to refuse, to tell her what difference would it make if we did? I didn't see a point. Then it occurred to me. What difference would it make if we _didn't_? We were living together regardless, we loved each other, nothing would change if we did or didn't. What would change would be that she would be finally willing sleep with me, and I wouldn't have to worry about…using my hand repeatedly to satisfy myself. I was a sick man.

_Mrs Edward Cullen_, I had thought to myself. _Bella Cullen. _

Why not?

Besides, I had seen the happiness, the hope in her eyes when she had suggested it. The idea of marrying me made her happy, and I wanted nothing more then for her to be happy.

So I shut off my mind again and simply agreed. That was the night I bent down on one knee to ask her, and it became official.

One week.

I was nervous as fuck about it.

I finished my breakfast quickly, taking it to the sink. I glanced back at the table and saw Bella had tidied up my notes. I smiled slightly and took them from the desk and back to my room.

I placed them back in my folder and headed to the bathroom to shower. I walked in and sighed when I saw the sink covered with her lotions, creams and bottles. Her scent filled the room.

"God, Bella". I murmured, shaking my head. She had so much shit that she used on her face, I couldn't find anything of mine. The bathroom was pretty much all hers. She had even hung frilly curtains on the windows. It looked like a fuckin chicks' bathroom.

I sighed deeply again and moved aside all her stuff till I managed to find my shaver. I swear sometimes I feel like throwing everything in this bathroom that belonged to her in the trash.

Nothing is ever in it's place, the way it used to be when I was living here alone before she graduated. Damn women.

I lifted my shirt over my chest and tossed it to the side, ridding myself of my boxers before getting in and turning the water on. Sure enough all of Bella's girly gel washing soap was there, and her shampoo and conditioner. I can't use her soap, it was a feminine one.

I sighed and slammed my fist against the wall, before getting out still wet and searching for mine in the drawer. Thankful I found it, I got back in.

When I finished I went to put it up the top of the shower so I could grab it easier next time, but she had packed all her bottles up there. How much shit did girls use in the god damn shower?!

I'd had just about enough and moved three of her bottles of it, so I could put mine on. I shoved her bottles in the drawer and grabbed my towel. Drying my hair quickly, I headed back to the bedroom and got changed.

I didn't bother with a shirt for the moment, sitting back on the sofa to watch TV.

I suddenly heard a banging on my door, followed by a voice I knew all too well.

"Edward, man. Open the fuck up!"

"Jesus Christ". I murmured and got up, opening the door to see my best friend, Emmett. "What the fuck, man? What are you doing here so early?"

He chuckled. "Morning to you too, sunshine. Jazz and Rose are both in class, got to pick up Rose soon, and Alice--well, I don't know where the fuck she is. Probably shopping. I don't have class today so thought I'd drop by".

"Go and get fucked". I joked and sat back down on the couch.

"Like you can talk". He grinned and I rolled my eyes.

"Nah, in all seriousness. Man to man. Haven't you fucked her yet?"

I growled at him. I hate how he made it sound so careless, like if I did sleep with Bella it would be nothing but a meaningless 'fuck'.

"That would be a no". He joked. "Wow, you must really love the girl. Still pulling that no sex before marriage bullshit?"

I sighed and changed the channel. "Yeah, pretty much".

"Well you're engaged, now. Close enough, don't you think?"

I smirked. "Not for Bella. I think she's gonna go all out for our wedding night."

"Kinky". Emmett wiggled his eyebrows. "You might find she's a lioness in the bedroom. Lucky bastard."

"Hey, you're getting it from Rose. What do you have to complain about? Besides, Bella and I have done…other stuff." I said awkwardly.

Emmett choked back a laugh. "So you're not jacking it off _all_ the time, then? Just _most_ of the time, right?"

"Fuck off".

He laughed heartedly. "Ah Eddie. Getting married and off the market in a week. Who would have thought?"

I groaned at the thought. "I know. Don't remind me".

Emmett grew quiet, and when I looked up he was studying me closely. "You ok, man?"

I shrugged slightly.

"Wanna talk about it? You nervous or some shit?"

"Nah, not for the reason you think". I sighed, staring down at my hands. "I'm nervous because…."

…"Yeah?"

I shook my head slightly. "Nothing. It's fine. I can't believe I'm even thinking this…Fuck, I love Bella". I ran my fingers through my hair.

Emmett watched me struggle with my internal demons, and crossed his arms. "You know I always wondered why you never seemed overly excited about getting married. Or at least not as excited as Bella is". He paused, watching me. "You don't _want_ to marry her, do you?"

I couldn't feel any worse at that moment, because I should have replied with a; "Of course I want to marry her!" But I didn't. I sighed and looked at the floor.

"Then what the fuck are you doing?" Emmett blew. "Dump her, Edward. Jesus Christ. If you don't love her--"

"I _do _love her". I argued. "I just don't know if I'm ready for--I mean I just don't know if she's, you know, I mean _marriage_--"

"You don't know if she's the right girl. You have doubts, right?"

"But that's the point, I shouldn't have doubts! I've been with her for almost four years, and I had never thought about asking her to marry me in the future. Isn't that…weird?"

Emmett nodded. "That's a sign that you're not ready. Not just that, but if you've never envisioned yourself marrying her, you shouldn't." He grinned, in spite of himself. "Like I always think about asking Rose to marry me eventually. Don't know when it will be though. Definitely within the next year or so".

I sighed. "Not helping, Em."

"Sorry man. So what are you going to do?"

"I don't know what to do". I gritted my teeth and slammed my fist against the seat rest. "I feel like a fucking dick. I'll never deserve someone like Bella, and I know I'll never find anyone like her, if I search every inch of this god forsaken earth. So why the fuck am I unhappy about this?"

"Edward." Emmett said calmly, which is unusual for him. "Your like a brother to me, so I'm telling you this. You love Bella, I can tell. But you have to _want _to marry the girl, with every fiber in your being. You have to become a desperate fuck, you have to know your whipped, and you wanna spend every minute for the rest of your life with her. Otherwise…Don't do it."

"Emmett I can't hear this. I'm going out this afternoon with Bella to buy our rings, and…" I went to get up but he stopped me.

"It's not fair to _her_, Edward. Think about _Bella_. Maybe the two of you aren't meant to be together, yet she's too naïve to see it. If you can't see a future together, leave her. You'll only hurt her more if you marry her, and end up falling in love with someone else and leaving her in the long run. Leave her, and give her the chance to find the right man, and you, the right woman".

I stopped, closing my eyes. I knew what he said was right. I wasn't only going to hurt myself, I was going to hurt _Bella._

But then I thought what it would be like if I did what my instincts said, and left her. Bella would be heartbroken. I knew that. Just from the things she does, I knew Bella was undeniably, irrevocably and desperately in love with me. I was the only man to ever come into her life like this, and the minute she told me she was in love with me too, she gave me her whole heart without the fear that I might break it. She trusted me implicitly, and I know she wanted to spend the rest of her life with me.

"Emmett;" I shook my head. "I can't. I can't do that to her. She loves me a great deal. She's so fragile and naïve at nineteen, I can't leave her--"

"--Exactly, you said it". He pointed out. "She's naïve. She thinks she wants to spend the rest of her life with you, how could either of you possibly be sure? Anyway don't worry about how fragile she is. Nothing would change. She could live with Rose and Alice on campus."

I sighed. "Em, I love her--"

"--Not as much as she loves you, obviously". He mused. "If you don't do what feels right, you'll regret it. Besides," He smirked; "Don't you have the hots for double D Denali?"

I couldn't help but laugh. "I said she was hot, alright? I haven't done anything, and I'm not chasing after her. She's out of my league, anyway. Do you know how gorgeous she is?"

"So I've heard". He smirked again. "She's got quite the male admirers on campus".

"See?" I pointed out with a dry smirk. "No chance, even if I was single".

"At least you'd get laid". He joked.

I rolled my eyes. "Fuck off, McCarty. I've got to get ready for class soon anyway".

He checked his watch. "Yeah, I gotta pick up Rose soon anyway. Catch ya".

He held out his fist I pressed mine to his. "See ya, dickhead."

"Later, asshole".

I laughed under my breath as he headed out. "Don't forget what I said, or else you're going to be walking down the aisle in a week with no way out!" He called before he left. I waved him off and shook my head slightly.

I couldn't think about this. I was marrying Bella in a week, that's just how it has to be. Everything was organized, done. Ready. I wasn't going to do that to her. I wasn't going to let myself hurt her.

**Bella's POV.**

Class dragged on, and by three I was out for the day. Edward started at two, till late. I considered messaging him, but when I pulled out my phone I changed my mind. Usually he messaged me, but there was nothing. He was probably very busy.

"Hey, Bells". I heard a voice behind me.

I turned around to see Alice. I smiled and hugged her. "Hey! What are you doing here?"

"Our lecture was cancelled. Fun time!" She grinned. "Hey, listen, I wanted to go over the wedding details with you."

"Alice!" I laughed. "It's all done! Silly. What else is there to do?"

"So your Dad, and my parents are flying in early morning?"

"Yes".

"Has your dad got his tux?"

"Yes".

"Has Edward?" I asked her, and she laughed. "Yes, Bella. Edward and I went out with Jazz and Emmett to get them. It's all done. Edward looks gorgeous". She winked and I blushed.

"I'm sure. I'm going to look horribly plain next to him at the altar".

"Nonsense". Alice shook her head dismissively. "You'll look absolutely stunning, as always. Edward will die when he sees you in that dress".

"Alice," I said, blushing. "Do you think he'll um, like, you know--"

"The lingerie? Hell yes!" She exclaimed.

I blushed furiously. "Really?"

Alice laughed and wrapped her arm tightly around my shoulders. "Bella, Bella. Stop worrying about your wedding night. You'll please him, don't worry! It's making love. It will come naturally".

I nodded nervously. "Okay."

She grinned. "I can't wait till you're my sister-in-law. I mean you'll always be family, but just knowing it's official…Seriously, it's awesome".

"Yeah". I said dreamily. Mrs Edward Cullen. Wow. It still hadn't sunk in. I was the lucky girl that Edward Cullen has chosen to be his wife. I mean he would have refused if he didn't want to marry me, right?"

"Alice," I bit my lip self-consciously. "Do you think he _really_ wants to marry me?"

"Bella!" She exclaimed, looking at me with genuine surprise. "Why would you even ask me that? I know he does. He loves you a great deal."

"I-I know, I just…maybe he feels pressured, I mean I don't want to pressure him at all, but maybe he feels pressured all the same…"

"Bella. Stop". Alice took both my arms. "Bella, Edward would not have agreed to marry you if he didn't want to. I know that much. Pressure or no pressure. Alright? So no more doubts!"

I nodded. "Sorry. S-sorry. I guess I'm just nervous".

"Understandable". She laughed. She pulled out her phone and seemed to have got a new message.

"Alright Bells, got to go. Got to meet Jasper. See you tonight." We hugged each other.

"See you". I smiled and waved, before heading off home.

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So...what do you think, continue?

Review?


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks guys for the reviews, i will continue with it then. As far as writing it i'm nearly done, as i am with Girl of my Dreams. So now it's just a matter of posting. Firstly, this IS an Edward/Bella story. Secondly, No i am not at all ditching GOMD for this fic. I'm writing both. The next chapter for GOMD is not ready yet, because i've been sick. Will be up asap, i promise!**

**So while i'm still fixing it up, thought i'd post the next chapter of this story. =)**

**Jess. x**

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**Chapter 2 -- I'm Barely Holding Onto You. **

**Bella's POV.**

I unlocked the front door and headed in, leaving my books on the sofa for now. Waiting for Edward to get home, I decided to clean up a little. I washed his dishes from that morning; glad to see he ate the whole thing. I smiled and put everything away, straightening the nice tablecloth I'd bought not long ago.

I then went to our bedroom and put away his clothes, folding them neatly in his drawer. He could be a bit messy sometimes, but I loved him for it. I made our bed, covering it with the bedspread that I also bought from home. It was a lovely light blue, with white lining. It matched the walls, which were white too.

I quickly dusted his bedside table and mine; dusting off the things we had on there. I picked up one of the pictures and dusted it, before looking at it. It was one of Edward and I when we first started dating; He'd taken me out dancing with Alice and Jasper. Alice had taken this photo of us wrapped up in each other's arms. Edward's lips were pressed to my head and I had my eyes closed, smiling blissfully.

I ran my fingertips over it lovingly, smiling at the image of him. I decided it was too nice a photo to sit in an isolated corner of our bedroom, so I headed back out and placed it on our coffee table, amongst my other decorative items. I smiled contently. It looked nice there.

I headed back inside and finished up the bedroom, before pulling out the vacuum to quickly clean the floor. We had wooden floors, so we didn't have to clean it as much as, example, carpet, but it did need a good clean now and again.

I vacuumed around the apartment quickly, before turning it off and placing it back inside the closet. I went into our spare bedroom, but everything was cleaned up fine. So I went to tackle the bathroom. I sighed, thinking how all my stuff must drive him insane. I quickly tried to make it neater, when I noticed Edward's soap was where my bottles usually were. I frowned. Where had he put them? I need them, that was moisturizer for my hair.

I pulled open the drawers until I found them shoved up the back. I sighed and pulled them back out, turning around to find somewhere to put them that wouldn't annoy him. I finally settled in the corner of the bath, considering neither of us ever used it.

After tiding things up, I wondered back to the bedroom. Glancing at my outfit, I decided to change before we went to pick up the rings. It would save petrol if we just went straight from the shops to Alice and Rose's dorm.

I pondered my choice for a while, before pulling out a dressy, frilly white top that rested lightly over my barely-noticeable cleavage. It made my figure look nice, though. I put on some nice tight flared jeans that were a little dressier then my normal ones. I wrinkled my nose, and then placed on my plain white sneakers.

Ok, I couldn't help it. I'd always be Bella Swan. It didn't look too bad, I thought, as I glanced at my reflection. I pulled out my hair from the loose pony, and headed back into the bathroom and switched on the curler.

I quickly ran my fingers through my hair and brushed it, before using the curler to create some nice waves and give my hair a bit of shape. I switched it off when I was done and ran my fingers through it lightly.

I glanced at my watch and my eyes widened when I realized Edward should be home any second. I pulled out my mascara and added a single stroke of the wand, and traced eyeliner over my eyelids very lightly.

Just as I was spraying my perfume, I heard the door jingle and someone fumbling with keys. I smiled and puffed up my hair a little, before running to the door.

Edward had just let himself in, and I couldn't help but notice he was frowning tiredly, unhappily, I'm not sure. When he saw me he immediately smiled and held open his arms. I ran straight into them happily.

"Hi". I said softly, wrapping my arms around his neck and giving him a tight squeeze.

He chuckled in my ear as his arms wrapped around my tiny waist. "Happy to see me?"

"Yep". I smiled and pulled away gently so we were face to face. His eyes were filled with thoughtfulness, and…something else, as he lifted my chin and leaned forward to kiss me. I automatically lifted my hand to his hair, opening my mouth against his, but I got the message quickly he wasn't in the mood. He pulled away, kissed me again lightly, and moved past me with his bag and books.

"Let me help you". I offered, taking one of the bags off his load. "Is this for the end of year exam?"

"Yeah". He sighed. "It's going to kill me, Bells. So much to study."

I nodded slowly. It didn't really bother me. I was slowly growing used to it. A medical degree was difficult, and he had a lot of work to do. I understood that.

"Hey, you okay?" I gently rubbed his back as he sat down on the bed. "You don't look too happy. Bad day?"

"Yeah". He sighed, sounding exasperated. "Just a lot of thinking, I guess. I just want to go to bed".

"Oh, well--"

"No, no, babe. It's ok". He insisted, closing his eyes as I massaged his shoulders. "We'll leave soon."

I kissed his hair, before reaching around to the front and slowly undoing the buttons on his shirt. He moaned a little and leaned back as my hands made their way inside his shirt and rubbed at his chest.

"God, baby…" He said huskily, sending spasms through my body. This was when I knew how much I desperately wanted to give myself to him. One more week, I chanted in my mind.

"Mmm?" I breathed against his back as I gently pulled his shirt off his shoulders and down his arms. I began to rub his arms, in awe of his body. Edward worked out, and was very fit. His chest and abs were to die for.

He turned around and gently nudged me back so that I fell back against the bed gently. He smiled at me, gently stroking my cheek.

"I love you". I whispered gently, lifting my hand to his chin and cheek and running my fingers over the outline of his face lovingly.

"Love you too". He murmured against my fingers, closing his eyes as he leaned into my touch. His eyes closed for a moment, kissing my fingers gently, before removing them from his face so he could bend down and kiss me.

My fingers intertwined in his bronze hair as he gently brushed his lips over mine, before coaxing my mouth open with his as his tongue slid against my lower lip. I whimpered against his lips and kissed him back just as passionately, allowing him entrance to my mouth. He was so sweet and sensual when kissing me, always taking care. His kisses would allude so much sometimes…Love, desire.  
I could only ever kiss him back, and hope he was receiving the same message.

He took my lower lip and gently nibbled on it, before moving his lips to my neck. I smiled and tugged on his hair lightly.

"So…beautiful…" He murmured as his lips kissed a trail down past my collarbone, to my chest. He kissed down to my cleavage, and buried his face there. I arched my back slightly.

"Edward". I whimpered.

"I love this top on you". He smiled lightly, playing with it. I smiled down at him lovingly as he caressed my stomach, before moving his fingers upward. I felt his eyes on me and I nodded my consent. I breathed out unsteadily when I felt his hands gently cup the shape of my breasts through my shirt, before moving up even further to the buttons on the shirt.

"Mmmm". I moaned softly and leaned forward to kiss him lightly, before pulling back with a little smile.

He looked at me, a bit confused of what I was doing. I kissed his nose as I reached behind me and unclasped my bra under my shirt. I heard him take a sudden breath in, and looked back to him as I quickly pulled my bra straps down my shoulders, before pulling it through the sleeves slowly and placing it to the side, in front of his eyes.

His eyes followed the movement, before looking back to me with nothing clear of desire and love.

He kissed me deeply, and this time we were both a little more demanding, throwing ourselves into the kiss. I gently took his hands and led them to my shirt. He pulled away to kiss the side of my cheek.

"You sure, baby?"

I nodded, and I knew he noticed. He kissed the side of my mouth, before lifting his lips to my eyes as undid the first button on my shirt. And the next. And the next. I continued to kiss him, letting him go as far as he wanted to go. I trusted him with everything in me.

He stopped when he had half my shirt undone, the tops of my breasts and the outlining shape in clear view. He sighed with contentment and kissed my cleavage, before gently resting his hands over them. His fingers moved so gently, it felt incredible. My eyes opened as I watched him admire my body.

He kissed the top of my right breast, before moving the material aside slowly.

"**I want you to want me. I need you to need me. I'd love you to love me. I'm begging you to beg me…"**

He groaned and rested his head against my chest. I sighed and leaned my head back. Someone has horrible timing. Though if they hadn't stopped it, I would have to eventually. Like every other time.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have let myself do that". He apologized softly and kissed each of the tops of my breasts before re-buttoning my shirt. I smiled and stroked his hair.

"It's alright. Really, I liked it". I blushed, before reaching for the phone.

"Hello?"

"Bella! Where the hell are you two? How long does it take to get a pair of rings and get your asses over here?"

Edward laughed quietly and took the phone off me. "Calm down, Alice. We're leaving now, so we'll be there within an hour." He paused. "Yep, ok. Bye".

I glanced at him as he closed my phone. He smiled at me and rested his chin on my chest. "You ready to go?"

I pouted. "I don't want to go to Alice's. I want to stay here with you all night." I gently moved the hair out of his face, and he turned his face to kiss my palm.

"Me too, babe. But we have to. So come on". He winked at me and gave me back my bra, in which I naturally blushed a tomato shade of red. He chuckled and kissed my head before leaving me alone to change. He shut the door behind him and I quickly pulled off my shirt to place my bra back on, and pulled back on my shirt. I fixed up my hair and reached for my bag, opening the door.

"Ready?" He was reaching for his keys.

"Yep."

"Lets go". He sighed and followed me out, activating the alarm next to the door before shutting it and locking it. I waited by the car as he unlocked it and we jumped in.

"Want me to drive if you're tired?" I offered, but he shook his head.

"I'm cool".

"You mean, there's no way in hell you are driving my Volvo." I joked, and he laughed. "Pretty much."

He reached over to hold my hand as we drove there, rambling to each other about our day at University. He parked at the jewelers and I grinned.

"Can you believe it? One week." I smiled at him.

"No, I can't." He shook his head slightly, and smiled. "One more week till I get to make you my wife." He reached over and nipped at my chin playfully.

I giggled and swatted his hand. "Please."

He got out and I did too, locking the car. We headed inside.

"Can I help you?" An elderly lady came out with a nice smile.

I fished for my wallet, for our receipt. "Yes, uh, we have…" I pulled it out, "…These to pick up today. We'd like to pay the rest off now".

She took it from me and smiled. "Ah, yes. No worries". She rummaged through a drawer and pulled out a medium sized box. She opened it for us, and I smiled. Two gold wedding bands, shining brilliantly. I glanced at Edward, who looked to me with a small smile.

"That's it. Alright, we'll pay the rest". He pulled out his wallet.

"Edward, I'll pay half". I insisted, but he shook his head.

"Don't be silly, Bella".

"Edward," I hissed. "They are our wedding rings. I have to pay some of it."

"You did at the beginning". He reminded me with a smile. "Bella, you're my wife soon. My money is yours. Stop with the guilt trips every time I spend money on you".

I blushed as the lady smiled charmingly at us. "The two of you make such a lovely couple".

"Uh, thank you". Edward smiled awkwardly, handing her his credit card. She put it through, and when we finished she handed me the bag and we headed out. Edward wrapped an arm lazily around my waist as we headed to the car.

I got in my side, and opened the box again. My heart warmed seeing the rings that would soon be on both of our fingers, symbolizing our love until the day we die.

"Stop looking at them, love". Edward smiled and took the box off me. "They are fine".

"I know". I smiled. "I just…love to look at them".

"You'll have the rest of our lives to admire it on your finger in a week. Be patient". He teased, and I blushed. "Sorry".

He placed the box under his seat, and I sat there, staring out the window as we drove to Alice's.

I shivered a little when I felt Edward's finger gently caress my cheek. I looked up and smiled at him.

"You okay?" He asked gently.

I nodded and leaned into his touch, turning slightly so I could nuzzle his hand. "I just love you so much". I whimpered helplessly.

I did, and it was the truth. I was a fool, a weak little girl around him. He could have me at his beck and call. I would die for him.

I guess I was jut lucky he loved me too and would never take advantage of that.

"Me too, love".

I smiled against his fingers, before intertwining our fingers on my knee. We drove the rest of the way in silence, though I did find it odd when his fingers occasionally would twitch. He seemed a little jumpy, and I couldn't figure out why.

We arrived not long after, and got out. Edward hid the rings under the seat, before locking the car. Alice had already opened the door with a grin.

"Hey guys!"

"Hey". Edward smiled lazily, pulling her into a hug first. She then jumped out of his arms into mine. I smiled and hugged her tightly.

"Hey Ally. Where is everyone?"

"Inside. Come in, come in". She ushered us in quickly and closed the door. "Oi, you two didn't have dinner right? We're eating in the living room".

"Nope". Edward smirked and headed in. I followed and saw our friends sitting there.

"Hey Edward, Hey Bells!"

I hugged Jasper, then Rose. Emmett lifted me up a little. "How are you squirt?" He teased. "Still as tiny as ever".

"Leave her alone, Em". Edward joked, and I giggled.

We all collapsed on the couch, watching a random movie on TV and laughing at the recount of everyone's day. Emmett was just telling us about his classmate who was caught ditching when Alice's phone rang loudly.

"Excuse me". She jumped out of Jasper's arms.

"Yeah," Edward said nervously. "I'm just going to head outside for a bit."

I grabbed his arm lightly as he walked past. "Are you alright?"

"Fine. Just getting some air, Bells". He insisted. "Don't come out, it's cold."

I nodded and let him go, ignoring something that was telling me there was an issue here. Jasper turned to me and smiled, and we starting talking and comparing our degrees. He told me how having Alice studying fashion was driving him insane, and I laughed.

"All right. Time for desert". Alice came through the door with individual plates of ice cream on a plate.

"Oh, yes!" Emmett cheered and went to take one.

I excused myself, and headed to the bathroom. I closed the door behind me and reached for my jeans when I heard a strange shuffling noise coming from the window. My eyebrows knotted together in confusion and I got up on the ledge to see.

I couldn't breathe. Edward was outside, walking around. Two things caught my attention, and both caused an immense amount of pain to my heart. One, he had a cigarette in his hand, and I watched as he brought it to his lips and inhaled deeply, as if it was the only thing that could get him to relax at that moment. Edward had only ever smoked once before, and that was before we started going out, when he went out with other girls. When we confessed our love, I had asked him why he smoked when he knew, wanting to be a doctor and all, that it was bad for you. He had kissed me and told me his life was meaningless at that time, and that smoking was the only thing he had to keep him one piece. Too much pressure in his life, he had said. To prove that being with me was what he desperately wanted, he had quit smoking that day and for the next three years never picked one up again.

Until now.

I choked back tears. Why would he do that? Why would he try and hide it from me? I didn't want to be angry, I couldn't. I loved him too much. The other part of me knew I had to talk to him, if not for myself, for Carlisle and Esme who hated when he smoked and always kept an eye on him when they could to make sure he didn't. Edward must have been so determined to hide it from me, because I had never smelt it on his breath or on his clothes recently.

The second thing, and the most painful, was what he was actually doing. He couldn't sit still. He stood up, moved around and shook his head. He was obviously in turmoil about something. He then fell back slumped against a tree, holding his head in his hands miserably.

It broke my heart. He was miserable about something. My heart thumped in my chest, as I thought what I never wanted to consider. Was it me? Was I right this afternoon, when I thought he doesn't really want to marry me? Was he feeling pressured, and that's why he took up smoking again?

I wanted to run outside and comfort him, but I couldn't find it within me to move.

"Edward!" I heard the door open and Alice's voice. "Get inside! What are you doing?"

I'd never seen him move so quickly the minute he heard the door open. He threw the cigarette to the ground and stepped on it quickly.

"N-Nothin". He shrugged, coming out from behind the tree. "Just getting some air".

He moved out of my view, and I heard his footsteps as he headed back up to the dorm room. I leaned back against the bath, holding myself tightly as tears threatened to escape my eyes. What had I done to him?

"Edward, I love you." I whimpered, bringing my knees close to my chest. I knew it was so true. I loved him more then anything else in this world, and I just wanted him to be happy. Seeing that he clearly wasn't, was killing me.

But what was he unhappy about? His life in general? Just me? Maybe, I hoped, it had to do with university, maybe just the workload is getting to him and the wedding is just making him even more nervous.

Oh God, I hoped.

"Where's Bella?" I heard him ask, and that was my cue before someone came looking for me. I quickly wiped my cheeks, and checked myself out in the mirror. I did what I had to do and washed my hands, heading back down.

"Bella! Hurry, your desert is melting". Alice shoved the plate in my hands.

Edward smiled at me and I tried my best to smile back without it looking like a really weak attempt. I went to sit on the seat next to him, but he reached forward and wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me down to sit on his lap. I squealed softly but my heart stuttered and resumed to a normal pace when he held me close like this. I didn't know what to say to him for once, and figured I'd better not risk saying anything silly. So I kept quiet.

Edward gently reached for the bowl, holding his hands over mine.

"Aren't you going to offer me a bite?"

"I-I thought y-you had yours". I stuttered.

"I did." He joked.  
I managed a smile and took a big scoop from my plate, before turning around and placing it in his mouth. He smiled contently and nodded his thanks.

"It's good, Alice". He smirked, his arms tightening around me.

She grinned. "Are you kidding? It's the best. Anytime".

Jasper laughed and kissed her.

**Bella's POV.**

We headed out later, and the car ride home was rather awkward. I had no idea why, considering he didn't know I was upset.

He didn't say anything, just staring straight ahead. This was something new I noticed over the past few days. He was just so quiet. It wasn't like him, especially when we started dating. We used to laugh and mull over everything. Now, especially in the last month, I could even trace it back to when we got engaged, he was a lot quieter. I would have been concerned a lot earlier hadn't he been still so sweet and attentive to my feelings, and he was always the one to initiate any kind of physical contact between us yet he had stopped when he knew it was being taken too far.

Watching his hands tighten on the steering wheel, I decided it was now or never.

"Edward?"

He cleared his throat and glanced my way. "Yeah?"

"Y-You promised we could talk about anything, right? Anything that was bothering us?"

He seemed to tense up at the question. "Yeah, sure Bells. Why?"

I headed in for the kill, giving him the chance to admit it. "Have you been smoking again?"

Yeah, he knew I caught him. He tensed up even more, but before I could comment on it he immediately relaxed and shook his head.

"No, I haven't".

I couldn't believe it. I was ready for him to admit he had, and to even apologize, as that's what he usually did when I caught him out doing something. But he didn't, he lied to me.

"Oh," I said softly.

He didn't answer. I knew there was only one way to get it out of him, and my insides hurt at the thought. I hated tricking him, but he wouldn't admit it unless I showed him. Inside, the rim of my heart was already cracking. Why would he lie? Why would he do this to me? Didn't I tell him, all the time, how Renee, my mother, died from lung cancer when I was eleven?

How I desperately didn't want to loose him to the same fate?

He parked outside, and we headed up the flight of stairs to our apartment. As soon as we headed in, I closed the door and locked it, heading up to him before he could take his jacket off and no doubt hide what was in his pockets.

I pushed him against the wall and leaned up to kiss him before he could question it. To say I was relieved would be an understatement as he kissed me back enthusiastically, one hand wound around my waist and the other caressed my neck. I softly whimpered into his mouth and heard him moan. His mouth dominated mine as he spun around and gently pressed me against the cabinet outside our room, lifting me to sit on top of it so he wouldn't have to continue bending down. Edward was a tall six-foot, and I was very small and thin, looking rather scrawny next to his strong, sexy build. I could never understand for the life of me what he found attractive concerning my body.

I continued to kiss him for a few moments, until his hands gently rested on my waist, pulling me closer. I slowly moved my hands down his chest, feeling him shiver, before I reached for the pocket of his jeans. Just as I knew he would, he was too distracted to know what I was doing and that's when I slipped my small hand in and felt for what I knew was in there.

The minute my fingers reached it and I gripped onto it, he froze. He broke the kiss and I felt his hand reach for my arm, but before he could pull it away himself, I did. And in my hand were the packet of cigarettes I knew he had.

I just stared at them. Even though I knew he was smoking, seeing him earlier, seeing these were another slap in the face. They were like the ones he used to smoke, the strong ones.

My tears welled up with tears, and I looked up. The silence was killing me, and I couldn't stand it anymore.

"Why?" I whispered pleadingly, gripping his chin so he'd look at me. "Why are you doing this?" I held up the packet of cigarettes in my other hand. "Why did you lie to me?"

His eyes held my gaze for a moment, and I knew he saw the tears that were threatening to spill over. "I knew you'd make a fuss about it". He said quietly.

"My mother _died _from these, and you don't think I'm going to make a fuss about it when the man I love more then _anything _starts up again? You promised me you wouldn't!"

"Bella, don't start". He groaned, moving his hands from my waist and pushing my legs apart to get out of my grip. "I'm going to bed".

"Edward, please, don't do this". I reached for his arm but he shrugged me off. He was angry now, I could tell.

The tears began to stream down my cheeks as I got down and followed him to the bedroom.

""I saw you smoking when you went outside, I knew you were lying! Why are you doing this to me? Why?"

He turned to me with an angry smirk. "So you kiss me, you manipulate me, so you can catch me out? Why not just come out and tell me that you fucking saw me!"

I stepped back at his outburst. "Edward, I--"

"No, no. Cut the crap, Bella. You always do this. Think you can guilt me out of doing what I want to do, into what you want me to do! Everything I fuckin do is for you! I'm tired of it. If I want to pick up smoking, deal with it! It's what I want, okay?"

"What do you want me to say?" I choked tearlessly. "Yes, it's ok? I can't say that."

"Then don't say anything. Just let me get a good night sleep without hearing you reprimand me all night. I am not a child. I'm nearly three years older then you. Remember that, _Sweetheart_". He sneered.

I wiped furiously at my cheeks, not wanting him to see me cry. "I'm not trying to control you, I love you!"

"Yeah, you always say that when you want me to do something for you. 'I love you'. I've loved you for years, Bella, but I don't try and control what you do."

"Oh, you don't?"

"No, I don't!" He glared at me as he made his way back out through the kitchen to get something.

"So I'm selfish then? Edward, I'm not being a hypocrite or anything like that. I'm just asking you not to smoke! You promised me you'd stop. So why did you pick it up again?"

"I'm sure you'd love to know". He rolled his eyes sarcastically, reaching for a glass.

"I do what to know!" I pleaded with him. "We can fix this, I know we can! I can help you. There are other alternatives to smoking."

He sighed and hung his head, gripping both sides of the sink. He was silent for a long minute. "God, don't know what the hell I'm doing". He murmured quietly.

My heart began to race. "E-Edward?"

He sighed. "I'm going to bed. Just let me be, ok?"

He downed his water quickly and shrugged out of his shirt as he headed to the bedroom. I heard the door slam and that's when I lost it. I cried into my hands, sliding against the cabinet. I don't know how long I remained there, just over thinking everything as usual.

I got up unsteadily, my eyesight unclear from the tears in my eyes as I stumbled towards the bedroom. I slammed into something and fell back, feeling for the couch. I moaned softly from the pain. In a way though, I embraced it. The physical pain was gradually taking over the pain in my heart and it was a numb feeling.

I couldn't take it. I buried my face in the cushion, closing my eyes and just wishing all these problems could disappear from my life.

Why did I have the sinking feeling that things were drastically going to change? Change for the better, I don't know. I could only wait and see.

**Edward's POV.**

Bella didn't come to bed, and I didn't know what to think. I waited, but after a while I assumed that was it. She was sleeping in the guest room. I sighed and pulled the pillow over my head. I hated fighting with her, though it had become more of an occurrence over the past few weeks. It would be natural to assume it was the wedding nerves, but that wasn't quite the case with me. I didn't know if I was ready for this, and after times like this, I was becoming more and more sure. Yet every time I thought of…breaking it off, I'd see Bella's face in my mind, the tears, and couldn't do it. I couldn't hurt her. A part of me would always love her, no matter whether I ended up marrying her or not.

So what if…I didn't marry her? What if I was single again?  
I couldn't imagine it. I had been with Bella for what seemed so long, I couldn't imagine what it would be like to wake up in the morning and do what I want, go and see who I want, not have to worry or feel guilty about being tempted into going places with those gorgeous women in my class. Guilt, that's what it was. Being with Bella was like living with constant guilt trips. She was so fragile; she would break over any small thing. She knew, she must know, she had a power over me and I was never strong enough to refuse her of anything. Not even marriage. I couldn't do one damn thing for myself without feeling guilty! How is that a good relationship?

I wasn't blaming her alone. It was my personality too. Together, we just clashed in that department. And it was other things. I didn't know if I could live with that for the rest of my life, and I had no idea if Bella would physically satisfy me if she never allowed me to take the first step. At least if I had sex with her, I'd know if we fit together, if we were sexually capable. What if we weren't? What if we were hopeless at it together? What if it wasn't fulfilling? Would I have to live with that for the rest of my days?

I groaned and tried to push these thoughts away.

_Do you love her?_

Love. That's the most important thing, right? It has to be.

_You have to __**desperately**__ want to marry her, Edward. _

I sighed angrily and pressed down on my pillow. I didn't want to think about it. I couldn't. I just…couldn't. I got up, frustrated with my thoughts and unable to sleep. I headed over to the window in the bedroom and slid it wide open, before fumbling with the cigarettes. For once I refused to allow myself to feel guilty, lighting it up and taking a long drag.

This was all that kept me sane about the marriage. If I didn't, I was scared to think of what I might do, what decision I might take in the future if I didn't marry Bella. Even more so, I was petrified about where my life would end up if I_ did_.

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**Reviews?** **Please?**


	3. He Doesn't Deserve You

**Thank you for the reviews! Still working on GOMD, to those who ask, just got an assessment on monday, so after that i will finish it i swear! In the meantime, hope your enjoying the updates for this story!**

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**Bella's POV.**

I moved forward, scrunching my nose. It was so cold. I reached forward for Edward as I usually did, when I felt nothing but air. I opened one eye, and that's when it all came back to me. I had slept on the couch. More like collapsed on the couch, in my clothes from last night. I moaned softly and got up, wandering into the kitchen hoping to find Edward in there so I could apologize and make things right between us. I twisted my engagement ring around my finger nervously.

"Edward?"

Nothing. I headed in, and saw it was empty. I glanced at the time, and that's when I realized it was past nine. He was at university. I slumped against the fridge, running my fingers through my already horrible hair. I glanced at the sink and saw he had at least made himself toast.  
I had class in a few hours, so I had the morning off. Once again Edward wouldn't be home till after I left, so we wouldn't see each other. I sighed. What else could I do, then?

I had my breakfast by myself, staring at the seat across from me sadly. When I had finished and cleaned up, I showered and got changed into a casual track pants and tank top for university today. Glancing at the clock, I saw I still had two hours, so I pulled out my books and forced my mind from Edward to study.

**

I wandered out of class around six, finally finished for the day. I sighed and closed my book when I heard my name called out.

"Hey Bells!" Cassie called.

She ran over with Sienna, two of my best friends from class. I managed a smile and hugged them.

"What's up?"

"We're going to go and get a bite out. Ring up Edward and see if he's keen". Sienna smiled. "All the guys are coming".

The 'guys' as she referred to was pretty much the whole class. I was close with all of them, and they all were invited to my wedding day on Sunday. Edward had a heap of friends from university that he had also insisted to invite, a lot of them I hadn't even met yet. We were excited to have a big wedding with all our family and friends, though my best friends would always be Rose and Alice and I would even classify Jasper and Emmett with them. Even though I was the quietest and said the least, the six of us could talk about anything and everything, our friendship was wonderful.

"Ah, um," I glanced at my phone. Nothing. "Uh, sure. I guess, I'll have to ring him. I'm not sure if he's home yet".

Sienna and Cassie shared a look I knew too well.

"What?" I asked, exasperated. "What is it_ this_ time?"

"It's just weird he doesn't call you just for the sake of it, or send you sweet messages from time to time. I mean you're his_ fiancé_, God."

"He _does_ do sweet things for me!" I said defensively. "He knows he doesn't have to call. Besides, he's always busy."

"You know I read this book on dating," Cassie started, and I rolled my eyes playfully. _Here we go._ She noticed and slapped my arm playfully. "Seriously, Bells! I'll lend it to you. Anyway, they say that 'busy' is another word for 'asshole.' A guy will always take the time to call or message if he's really into you."

I smiled a little. "That's pretty invalid, Cassie. Edward and I have been dating for three years. We're engaged. No guy is going to keep up the sweet calls and messages forever."

"So, what, wow, you're already resigning yourself to marry a man that's already treating you like he's been married to you fifty years? Damn girl, you haven't even started your life together yet. He should still be in that pampering stage". Sienna pointed out.

I laughed quietly. "You two read too many dating books." I hit send on the phone and pressed it to my ear. It rang and rang, and eventually rang out. I sighed and dialled the number again. Sometimes I wonder what he does with his phone, considering he never answers. It rang out again, and that's when it struck me. He was avoiding my calls, especially after we had the fight last night.

My eyes stung at the memory and I dropped my phone helplessly. What's the _point_?

"What's going on?" Cassie asked, concerned.

"I forgot, Edward won't answer". I shook my head sadly. "He's uh, he's angry with me."

Sienna raised an eyebrow. "Um, why?"

I shook my head slightly. "Oh, um, nothing. It's just…well; I think Edward must still be in class. I don't think he's avoiding me, come to think of it. He's usually the first one to_ want_ to make up after a fight. I'm sure he's just busy".

"Bullshit." Cassie pulled out her phone. "What's his number?"

"W-What are you doing?" I asked incredulously.

"Calling him. On a private number". She fumbled around on her phone, before looking up to me again. "So, number?"

I shook my head. "C-Cass, what are you trying to prove?"

"That he's being a dickhead by not answering _your_ calls." Sienna pointed out knowingly. "He'll answer when Cass rings, you watch."

"But--"

"Bella, I know you said you had a fight. But that's no excuse. If you go home right now and ask him why he didn't answer his phone, he'll say he didn't have it on him, or some stupid typical-male excuse they all come up with. I'm going to prove the only excuse he has is that he's an asshole."

I narrowed my eyes. "He isn't an asshole, dickhead or anything else! He's--"

"Yeah, you're right. He certainly isn't anything else…anything else like a sweet, committed fiancé. God, the way he treats you sometimes…" She shook her head angrily. "…I want to ring his neck."

"Yeah, Bells. He has the most beautiful, sweet, kind girl in the world." Cass agreed softly. "You are amazing, everyone loves you for a reason. You're a genuinely good person, and you care way to much about people that don't deserve it, people that hurt you."

I was speechless, and they took the opportunity to snatch my phone away and get Edward's number. Cass dialled it and put it on speaker for us.

_Ring, ring._

"Hello?"

_Snap. _

Cassie hung up the phone, hard. She looked to me, but I couldn't look back at her. I felt the tears, and I didn't want anyone to see.

"I don't mean to torture you, Bella, but just to confirm it even more. We know now he's by his phone, so lets try yours again".

She hit Edward's number on mine and pressed speaker.

_Ring, ring._

_Ring, ring._

_Ring, ring. _

_Ring, ring._

_Ring, ring._

_Ring, ring. _

_Ring, ring._

"_Beeeeeeeeeeeep. The person you are calling is not available. If you would like to leave a message, press--"_

_Snap._

All I could see through my watery eyes was the blurry shape of my phone being handed back to me. I took it off her, but they could tell. A strangled sob left my lips, and that's all they needed.

"Oh, honey." Sienna hugged me tightly, and I felt Cassie wrap her arm around my head and stroke my hair, both murmuring to me softly, soothingly, over and over; "It will be okay, calm down".

But never anything about Edward. Never _assuring _me he didn't mean it, or it was nothing. I mean, what could they possibly say? They believe Edward had done countless things to hurt me, even though they often assured me they would still be civil to him.

I don't know how long I cried in their arms, trying to convince myself that everything would be alright, that he loved me and that he'd be my husband this Sunday.

I just didn't realize how hard it would be to truly believe it.

"You're coming with us, tonight." Cass pulled away gently.

I shook my head, still blubbering. "N-N…"

"Yes, you are". Sienna agreed lightly. "I know Alice and Rose are your best friends, but they are also close to Edward. So don't invite them. Just us. You need to be with some new people."

I sighed. "I c-can't just not turn up and leave E-Edward to have to--"

"**SCREW** him!" Sienna interrupted sternly. "He can make his _own_ dinner! You insist you're getting married on Sunday regardless of what happens, and if that's the case then that's fine. But you're not going to act like his slave; we won't let you do that. He's not incapable of making his own dinner for one night."

I nodded, though I completely disagreed. I then thought of something. "B-But wait, I look terrible."

Cassie stared at me for a moment, as if she was thinking of something. She then smiled. "Ok, I have an idea. I'll call him, and ask for you. He'll say he doesn't know where you are, and that will clue us in as to where he is. If he's home, then you come change at mine. If he isn't, you can go to yours and get changed and we'll wait for you. Sound good?"

I sighed. "I really don't want to do this…I don't want to lie to him!"

"Right, because he's _never_ lied to you". Cassie rolled her eyes.

"That doesn't matter!" I protested. "I love him, and--"

"--Two wrongs don't make a right. Yeah, yeah. Heard it all before. Enough making excuses for him, Bella. Now Sshh, while I ring him."

Sienna rolled her eyes and wrapped an arm around my shoulder comfortingly.

I abruptly kept quiet when it started to ring from her phone. He answered within a few seconds, like last time she rang.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Edward?"

"Yeah?" He sounded frustrated and slightly annoyed.

"This is Cass, Bella's friend from class. Just a quick call." She looked at me and rolled her eyes. "Do you know what time Bella's class finishes? Or is she already home?"

Edward knew who she was, and I remember him noticing she was always civil as she could. She wasn't crazy about him, and when he picked that up he replied to her in the same manner.

"I don't know if she's home. Ring the house phone. Is that all?"

I saw her teeth grit together angrily. "Um, I think so. Hang on". She pretended to talk loudly as if she was calling to Sienna.

"Hey Sienna, nah, he doesn't know when he's _own fiancé _comes home. So you're not home then, I take it?" She asked back into the phone, and I winced. That wasn't going to go over well.

"No, I'm not. Does this deranged call have a point? I'm busy".

"Not anymore". Cass answered and abruptly hung up on him. I sighed at her stubbornness, though I couldn't talk. Now I would be forced to go out and meet all these new people when all I wanted to go was go home and make up with Edward. I knew he wouldn't be home, especially when we fight, he goes to the local bar with his friends from class to drink. Lately I haven't been commenting on it because it would only prove his point that I'm trying to control him. He was a man, I had to let him go, as much as I worried him and it killed me every minute I spent in bed without him.

"Asshole". Sienna muttered angrily. "He so doesn't deserve you, Bella".

I fought back the tears. "No, I don't deserve _him_. That's what this comes down to."

"Don't start this shit again saying you're a bad girlfriend cause you don't sleep with him. Bella, he can deal with it! How do you think the really religious people in this world deal with it? What about two hundred years ago during that era when sex before marriage was unheard of? Bella, the guys could wait then, they can wait now. Especially if they love you enough."

"That was many decades ago, Sienna." I pointed out, exasperated.

"That's not an excuse, Bells." Cass reminded me. "Times change, but people don't."

I sighed, defeated.

Cass hugged me tightly. "So, here's the plan. Go to yours 'cause obviously Edward isn't there, you get changed. Then we go."

Sienna grinned excitingly. "Yep, lets go Bells. You're going to have so much fun. There's even this new guy that's studying a double major with journalism" She nudged me jokingly. "He's gorgeous. Wait till you meet him. Tall, dark, longish black hair."

"Oh, him! I know, he's amazingly good looking! Is he coming?" Cass cut in.

Sienna nodded. "What's his name, uh…J…Jude, Jacob, John…can't remember."

I rolled my eyes and held up the finger with my engagement ring. "Not on the market, remember?"

"How could we forget? And to a lazy ass of all people". Cass rolled her eyes.

I narrowed my eyes angrily. "Are you done? Seriously, I love Edward more then I've ever loved anyone, or ever will! You have _no idea _how much I love him, so every time you insult him you're only twisting the knife in me, not in him. If you're going to spend the night doing that, forget it. I'm not coming".

"Ok, ok Bella we're sorry". Cass insisted, wrapping her arm around my other shoulder. "Forgive me? I won't say that again tonight. I promise. It will be an Insulting-Edward-free night. Okay?"

I couldn't help but giggle at that. "Okay". I gave in and leaned my head against hers lovingly. I wrapped my other arm around Sienna and we headed off, changing the conversation completely, of which I was grateful for.

We headed back to my place quickly, and they followed me up. The whole time I was worried about when Edward came home, I didn't want to leave him without dinner, no matter what the girls said. I wouldn't. I obviously couldn't cook because they'd see me.

"Okay, Bella you get ready first". They dragged me to my…our bedroom, and began to go through my clothes and pick something. Both got along so well with Alice, as they were practically identical to her.

I tried on one outfit after another, watching their eyes as they analysed how it looked. Sienna was doing all the choosing; Cass sat on the bed to watch. She suddenly shifted and frowned, disgusted.

"What?" I asked.

"Please tell me I'm on _your_ side of the bed". She said, obviously repulsed at the thought of sitting on Edward's side.

"Yes". I sighed.

"Good". She settled comfortably. Sienna tried to stifle a giggle, which made me laugh when she ended up coughing. We ended up in hysterics on the bed, with Sienna's face as red as a tomato from coughing.

"Alright, stop with the distractions". She scolded and pulled me back up. "Now I think that suits you the best. You think, Cass?"

"Definitely". She nodded. "I think you're all set. Your hair is fine; I think we just need to tease it a little. Then make up."

The two worked on my hair and make up, while the whole time I thought about dinner for Edward. I decided maybe to buy him pizza, considering he loved it. And I had no idea what time he'd be home, but on a school night he'd never be home later then nine. So I'll ask them to send it at nine.

"There, perfect!"

I was spun around to face the mirror, and looked at the done up version of myself. I smiled half-heartedly when they told me I was beautiful. I only loved hearing it from Edward, and somehow he always made me believe it. I wasn't perfect, he was. Too perfect for me.

"Great. Thanks". I smiled weakly.

They didn't seem to pick up on my tone, and thank Goodness for that. If it had been Rose or Alice, I'm sure they would have. But these two didn't know me as well, or as long as Rose and especially Alice had.

I got up and put on a cardigan.

"Bella, do you mind if we do our hair and make up?"

"Oh, no problem!" I insisted that they do it, therefore I can order the pizza without them knowing. I told them I was going to put my books away, and quickly sneaked into the kitchen. I took the phone and dialled the number, as I had remembered It. It's always convenient just in case.

"Hello Pizza Hut, how may I help you?"

I spoke to them quietly, ordering Edward's favourite and asking them to have it delivered at nine. I gave them the address, thanked them and we hung up. I glanced back into the hallway and could hear laughing coming from my room. Good, they hadn't heard.

I quickly set the table for him, tiding up his and my books and placing them gently to the side. I didn't want to do anything that would annoy him even more. My heart stung when I looked at his empty seat. I missed him so much when he wasn't around, I couldn't let this fight get any worse. He was right, I had to let him be.

This was the first thing I'd do to make it up to him. Then, I decided, the minute I'd come home I will spend the rest of the night trying to convince him he was right, I was wrong, and from now on I'm going to mind my own business.

Once the table was set, I decided to quickly tidy up the TV room. I straightened up the cushions on the sofas I bought that looked very nice I thought. That's when I saw what I hadn't picked up in ages. The huge box of photos of the two of us through the years, and the equally huge album that I was trying to fill with all of our memorable photos with each other. A few had gone in photo frames around the apartment, but the rest I wanted to organize into this album. "It's our life together." I had told Edward with a smile.

When I used to sit down in my boxers and tank top and beg Edward to sit down with me so we could do it together, he'd groan in protest. He hated things like this, but I understood being his impatient male hormones. Besides, males just don't gush over the romantic photos of their love life like us females did. I was sure of that, and Alice and Rose had confirmed it. We'd shared a giggle or two that day about our men and their testosterone-fuelled behaviours.

I smiled with faint tears as I went through a few photos on the top. Us with our parents, kissing, dancing back home. There were so many of us just holding each other, looking into each other's eyes with love that resonated from the photo in full force. He was just too beautiful and somehow…he loved me.

Some we had taken ourselves, most taken from our friends who thought they'd interrupt a nice romantic moment between the two of us. There were ones of him that I'd taken in the mornings, at night. Then he had taken his fair share of me, a fair few in the bathroom when he'd sneak in when I was doing my hair or make up. I smiled seeing me stick my tongue out at him playfully from the mirror or I'd be trying to shoo him away and all the photo would be is of me laughing.

I picked up one, one that I loved. Alice had taken it. We were on the couch, dressed lightly. My head was rested against his chest lovingly, his arms around me and we were both laughing. It was the type of photo that made you smile no matter what, and made me remember just how crazy I was in love with this man. Our embrace was so sweet and loving. It was definitely one of my favourites.

I pulled out some sticky tape from the kitchen cabinet and taped the photo to a blank piece of paper from my notebook. I reached for my pen and wrote a message under the photo.

_I ordered pizza for you. Will be delivered at nine. _

_I love you. I'm sorry._

_B. _

I then taped the photo and note to the table, next to where it was set for him to eat.

"BELLA! Are you ready?" I heard the clomping of high heels as they made their way in. I quickly took my wallet and pulled out enough money for the pizza, placing it next to the note. I then switched off the light and came into the TV room.

They were laughing about something and they looked amazing. They may take a while, but they always look incredible when they are done. I felt horribly plain next to them, which is nothing compared to what you feel like walking next to Rosalie.

I smiled. "Yep. I can't believe you're making me go out when we've got Hens Night on Friday night. I mean, two nights in the one week?"

"Bella, you're not going out drinking and dancing tonight, just a casual few drinks and food with your classmates. Your Hens Night Is really when you get to celebrate".

I blushed. "I know, especially with you two and Alice involved".

"Alice is so awesome". Cass grinned. "Friday night is going to be so much fun. Anyway, we'd better go. Here". She handed me a very dainty pair of heels. I groaned softly.

"Really?"

"Yes! Come on, you can't keep wearing those sneaker shoes with every dress! Definitely not while we are around, anyway".

I agreed reluctantly and held onto the cabinet as I slipped them on one after the other. I stood up and nearly stumbled, not used to the extra inch of height it gave me. It wasn't too bad though, now I didn't feel overly short.

"My God, Bella. You look stunning!" Sienna squealed and hugged me. "You seriously are beautiful. Come on, let's go!"

We headed out and I activated the alarm and closed the door with my keys. I put it back in my purse and followed Sienna and Cass to the car. Pulling out my phone while they drove, I was pathetically hoping maybe for a message from Edward, or maybe he'd tried to call me back. I found nothing.

"Bella?" Sienna interrupted my thoughts.

"Yes?"

"Did you bring enough money, Hun? Otherwise we were going to stop at the bank".

"No, I'm fine." I smiled a little. "Thank you. I got money out before".

"Okay, good. Lets go".

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**Thoughts? What do you think is gonna happen or Edward's reaction? Reviews make me happy! =) **


	4. The Only Option

**Thank you for all the reviews, love them, please keep it up!**

**For those who ask, GOMD chapter will be up some time today! I'm nearly done. **

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**Edward's POV.**

"Another one, Edward?" Emmett smirked as I downed a shot.

"What? I haven't had a shot. Fuck off". I threw down a ten and the bartender nodded his thanks. James grinned and threw down a twenty.

"Keep 'em coming, buddy. This guy's gets married in six days". He joked, slapping me on the back.

"Tough break". The bartender smirked and brought across another shot. "Take it from me, kid. Don't get married. Married women are witches. Just look at my wife".

I laughed and swallowed down the shot. "…Be good if all men went by that philosophy. Sex first, marriage later."

"No, marriage _never_!" Laurent, my other buddy, cheered and we all clinked drinks. Emmett I knew wasn't really serious about it, as I knew he would ask Rose in a second if he could. He just didn't want it to seem rushed.

"Look at me. Hot, single bachelor at twenty-four. I'm a year older then you, do I look miserable?" James asked me, pointing at himself.

Emmett and I laughed. "Cheers to that".

"Cheers". He sculled down his beer happily.

"Though, McCarty wants to propose". I pointed out, grinning at Emmett who nudged me jokingly.

James raised his hand unsteadily, getting pretty drunk. "Yeah, but Emmett's girl is fucking hot. I'm not trying to sound like a threat, man. I'm just stating a fact". He looked to Emmett. "She's damn gorgeous. I don't blame you for wanting to be tied to her."

Emmett grinned and lifted his glass proudly. "To the hottest chick on campus, and she's mine."

"Cheers". James grinned and clinked glasses with him.

"Are you kidding, though?" Laurent cut in with a dry smirk. "Might be great now, but wait a few years. Out go the lace bras, the trapdoors and handcuffs. In comes flesh tones and PMS pants".

We all laughed at that. "In comes the married woman. That's one problem I'll never have". James smirked, and for that split moment I was almost jealous of him. He seemed so happy, so content with his life. Unlike me, and I hated it.

Just thinking about it again made me frustrated and I pulled out the packet of cigarettes and lighter from my pocket. Thankfully, this was a bar you could smoke in. This wasn't even my bachelor night, and we do a lot of this after class. I couldn't wait till Friday when the night was officially one for the guys and me.

I lit up the cigarette and took a long drag, lifting the glass of a vodka-mixed drink to my lips.

"Well, well, well. _Speaking_ of hot single people". James smiled at someone behind us.

Two cold hands clasped over my eyes and lifting my hand to theirs and I knew.

"Hey Edward". She cooed.

"Hey you". I smiled in surprise and turned around. Tanya, the most seductive temptress in this college, stood behind me.

_Holy. Shit._

She was _gorgeous._

My eyes went to her tight outfit and I swear to God, my mouth was watering. I swallowed hard. She noticed and smiled wider, before saying hi to the other guys. We were all in the same class so we all knew each other.

I took the last drag of the cigarette and disposed of it, my eyes never leaving her as she moved to sit at the table with us.

"So what brings you here?" She smiled at me.

"Ah, just hanging out with these losers. What about you?" I smiled. "Who are you here with?"

_No one, I hope._

_God, your getting married Edward, you idiot. _

"Girlfriends". She ran through her hair seductively. I swear to God, I thought Laurent moaned next to me. I smirked and my eyes went straight to her chest. Damn, I couldn't help it.

And I thought Bella's little attempt at seduction the other night was bad enough. I wasn't even touching this girl.

"Cool". I nodded.

"Oh, Edward. About the assignment we need to do early next term. Do you think I could borrow your notes?" She asked flirtatiously, pleading with her eyes. Her artificial nails dug into my skin gently.

I smiled and winked. "Sure, no problem. We'll figure it out".

"Oh, you're the best!" She exclaimed happily and threw herself at me. I swear to God I didn't know what to do for a moment when her hands flew around my neck, and her body pressed to mine.

_Shit!_

"You fuckin_ lucky_ bastard." James mimed from behind me.

I grinned smugly and moved my hands to wrap around her waist, returning the embrace. Emmett just rolled his eyes.

She pulled away a moment later, her face still close to mine. All I could do was stare at her. All I _wanted _to do was stare at her.

She smiled seductively.

"Wanna dance?"

I glanced at the dance floor, seeing couples dancing to hip-hop that had started up. I glanced at my friends, who, James especially, seemed to be chatting eagerly to Jessica, one of Tanya's friends.

"Uh…"

"Oh come on, Edward. I'm not asking you to have sex with me. Surely your fiancé won't mind one _little _dance with me". She said teasingly.

I chuckled nervously. "Yeah um, s-sure. One dance."

"Yay!" She squealed, grabbing my hand and practically pulling me off the barstool. "Come on Jess, James, Laurent, Angela. Lets dance!"

Emmett just looked at me, the only one without a date and seemingly happy about it. He looked away and took another swing of his bottle.

"Emmett, no partner?" James joked, wrapping his arm around a blushing Jessica.

He smiled. "Nah man, I've gotta ring up Rose anyway."

He laughed. "Your call".

The girls dragged us off to the dance floor, not giving any of us the chance to change our mind. We got right in the middle of the mosh, where it was loud enough. I smiled at Tanya and we began to dance to the music together. She held my hands and I twirled her around, bringing her back to me and placing my hands lightly on her waist. After a few verses she drew herself closer to me, her body moving achingly slow against mine. She was so amazing dancing; she knew all the right moves to make guys around us watch her, entranced. Pride cursed through me and I pulled her closer. That seemed to be all the encouragement she needed, moving her back against my chest and moving to the beat. Her hands reached for mine; bringing them to waist, lower…to her hips. I wasn't complaining.

_It's H-U-E-Y, home fly G five  
And by the look in my eyes she has nice thighs  
What her mama done gave her then grew from no good to major  
My pockets full of paper, born as a Missouri stater  
Mami gon take it low if you can then touch your toes  
You and your partna them, you can get dollas then  
Trickin aint in my blood, but I`ma make it rain on`em  
Too rich for dolla bills, I consider that as change  
25`s on my range, I know that that`s a odd number  
The way you tootin that thang can make the guys wonder  
What`s underneathe or even if it's real  
I`m hoping she a freak cause I ain`t tryna chill  
I`m tryna get it poppin, wit a shortie like mine  
That's willing to drop it low enough to blow my mind  
It`s HUEZ and Bow Weezy  
Let`s see if she can get lower than before on the remix_

Toot that thang up mamii make it roll  
once you pop, pop lock it for me girl get low  
if yo mama gave it to you, baby girl let it show  
once you pop lock drop it for me maybe we can roll (oh)

Pop lock and drop it

Damn lil mama I`m sayin  
Uh, all that in them jeans woo  
Aye, aye, let me holla at chu for a minute  
Hey what it is they call me Bow Wizzle  
Now pop lock and drop for me, make that thang jiggle  
She moves her hips just like Shakira  
If she was in a contest she would be the winner (yep)  
From Ohio all the way to St. Louis, hey all the girls do it just put your back into it  
Now shake what she gave ya, I`m talking bout ya mama  
If you wont do it for me then do it for these dollas  
Cause I`ma make it rain, these otha dudes is lame  
They talk a good game, but they can`t do the same  
Now drop it up and down, now take it to the ground  
If you wanna please me baby all you gotta do is  
Pop, Lock, and Drop It  
But baby don`t stop it, and do it like Chris Brown girl get it poppin  
Man I`m a pro, look I`m far from a rookie  
Girl get your pretty self over here gimme them cookies

Toot that thang up mamii make it roll  
once you pop, pop lock it for me girl get low  
if yo mama gave it to you, baby girl let it show  
once you pop lock drop it for me maybe we can roll (oh)

Pop lock and drop it

Shawty snap (yeah!)  
Damn, shawty snap (shaw-d-et)  
Yea  
Now let me ask you a lil question that you never heard  
How do you make them dollas disappear like i`m for real for a lack of better words  
Let me introduce my friend, that's Huey and Bow Wow  
I`m the pain better known as Teddy Penderass down  
I`m G (yea)  
But, you probably already knew that  
But you didn`t know that I could make you pop, lock and do that  
I`m a stand i`m the baddest man alive  
So let`s just bend your knees and do the G 5 (now we fly)  
Yea you can do it (yea)  
Yea know you see me (yea)  
Yea you wanna be me (yea)  
Yea you got my city (yea)  
Yea know just a minute (yea)  
Yea that`s Baby Huey (yea)  
Yea that`s Bow Weezy (yea)  
Yea that`s Teddy Pain yea i`ma make your body roll  
Yea I`ma play you depending on how this money on the road  
And I got it from my mama I aint tryna go pro  
If you pop lock drop it I might let all of this go  
Oooh

She moved closer and began to grind on me, softly at first. As if she didn't want me to think it was grinding. But that's what it was, especially when she grinded her ass right into me in the one place that she knew she could get me hard in a matter of seconds.

I bit my lip slightly, steadying her movement against the ache with my hands on her hips. Fuck, I was hard. And she felt it.

She turned around, and her eyes met mine. Her eyes twinkled, obviously meaning she got to do what she set out to do.

"Edward, wow". She said seductively. "I guess it's true then when James told me your fiancé won't fuck you."

Oh, God. If I wasn't hard before, I would be now. The way she said 'fuck' sent spasms through my body right down to the ache in my pants.

I didn't trust myself to answer with a dignified one, to I simply nodded. She smirked and lifted our twined hands in the air. She grabbed my shirt and brought me closer to her, reaching up on her toes even though she was wearing heels to whisper in my ear. My arm instinctively went to her waist as I bent down to hear.

"You are a great dancer. Turns me on". She whispered huskily and I shivered. "A girl that refuses to fuck _you_ is insane. I'm going to guess you've been going without it for quite some time." She added, and I felt her lips move down to my neck, and her hand trailing down to my pants.

I moved away and grabbed her wrist gently to halt her action. "Tanya I can't."

It was meant to sound demanding, but came across more in a groan-like pleading tone.

She pouted attractively.

"I said _one_ dance, that's it". I reminded her weakly.

She grinned at me and raised her eyebrows.

"You sure? I'd be _more_ then happy to."

_Fuck._

"I'm sure". I nodded. I needed to get the hell out of here before I lost it in my pants, bad. She threw her arms around me and pressed her lips to my lower cheek in a lingering kiss.

"See you later, then".

"Yeah". I managed to say before removing myself from her grip and immediately heading out of there. I pulled out my phone. Shit, eight thirty.

I ran back to the table to find Emmett and Laurent sculling beer.

"Where's James?" I asked, trying not to look as flustered as I damn well felt.

Emmett raised his eyebrow. "Fucking Jessica, what else?"

I smirked. Some things would never change. "Hey, I uh, gotta go. Bella's gonna kill me for being late for dinner." I quickly stuffed my wallet in my back pocket.

Emmett nodded and raised his beer. "Give her my love".

I chuckled and slapped his shoulder. "Catch you later, man". I made my way through the crowd and to the door. Slamming the key in the ignition, I quickly took my mind off Tanya as I headed home. I loved going out, I won't deny that. Every time I thought back to Tanya's hand on my jeans my mind took off and I couldn't fucking concentrate on anything else.

_No, no man. Bella. Bella._

But that didn't help at all considering the situation I was in with Bella at the moment. I sighed when I thought about that. I still had no idea what to do, and I hadn't seen her all day. I felt like shit, but I didn't wanna talk to her so I ignored it every time her number came up on the screen. I didn't want to be yelling at her over the phone, or worse. If we had to talk this out, as per usual, I wanted to wait until the last possible moment to tackle it.

I parked outside, and headed upstairs, pulling out my keys. I unlocked the door and headed in, and was hit with the familiar wave of scent of my apartment. Home. My body instantly relaxed for the first time all day as I threw my books gently on the couch. Between the scent of my furniture, the carpet, the faint musty smell of a new place and Bella's natural scent that flooded it, it was nothing short of the familiar soothe that made me unwind.

I glanced up, expecting to see Bella and furrowing my eyebrows in confusion when I didn't.

"Bella?" I called.

Maybe she was still pissed at me, I thought. Maybe she was hiding in our room or something, refusing to talk to me all night. Just what I fuckin needed.

I headed into the bedroom.

"Bella!" I called again.

I went into the bedroom and opened it. It was tidy and the bed was made, so she'd obviously cleaned this morning. Nope, not there.

I sighed and headed into the kitchen, seeing she definitely wasn't in the shower. I headed in, and found everything clean except the table set. Bella wasn't here.

My eye caught the note, or something, next to the set dishes. There was money next to it. I picked it up, and saw she'd attached a photo with tape. I glanced at the note.

_I ordered pizza for you. Will be delivered at nine. _

_I love you. I'm sorry._

_B. _

My eyes drifted downward to the photo of what I knew was one of her favorites of the two of us lying down together, both laughing and cuddling. I smiled and traced my finger over the image of her.

She was so beautiful in this picture.

_Knock Knock._

I dropped the photo, the noise startling me. It couldn't be Bella, she didn't need to knock. I glanced at the door and headed over, opening it up.

A pizza guy stood there with two pizzas. "Edward Cullen?" He questioned.

"Oh, yeah. Thanks. I'll get you the money". I headed back to the table and picked up Bella's money, handing it to him.

He smiled and thanked me, handing me the pizzas.

"Have a good night".

"Thanks". I smiled and closed the door. I stared at the pizzas, and sighed. I took them back to the kitchen and sat them on the table. I would have normally waited for Bella to eat with me, but I figured she had gone out with her friends, probably Alice or Rose shopping. And I was starving.

I opened up the boxes and smiled at the fact that she got me the ones she knew were my favorite. I pulled one piece and placed it on my plate, sitting down at the table to eat. I chewed slowly, staring at the chair opposite me. I couldn't remember the last time I'd had dinner alone, and it was weird. Guess it was nicer then fighting with Bella.

I took another bite, relishing in the taste. All I could hear was myself eating, and it became uncomfortable after a minute. I turned around and glanced around the apartment, before settling on the TV. I turned it on and put it up louder then normal to drown out the silence.

_Sport,_ _that'll do. _

I took my plate with me and got another pizza, before sitting down on the couch and relaxing.

**Bella's POV.**

"It's been too long since you've hung out with us, Bells". Adriana smiled at me and clinked my glass. I smiled back at her after laughing at something one of the other girls' said about investigative journalism.

"We're all heading that way," She had joked and we had laughed heartedly.

We had all arrived there early, and everyone kept coming and coming. It was so, so much fun. I had missed going out with them so much. My class was awesome.

"Hey, what did I miss?" A deep, throaty voice came from behind us. I turned around and saw a very tall guy with a lovely smile approach the table. He was dark, with black shiny hair. He was very built, and very handsome._ Nothing_ like Edward, though.

In fact he was so unlike Edward, I couldn't really compare them. Edward's skin was beautifully pale, and his killer crooked smile was completely the opposite of this guy's perfectly straight smile.

Sienna glanced at me and raised her eyebrows approvingly at him. I shook my head with a smile and lifted my hand again to make the ring visible. She rolled her eyes.

"Jacob!" Adriana grinned at him and got up to hug him. "So glad you made it! Let me introduce all my friends, though you met them all last week".

He laughed and nodded. "I remember most of you".

His eyes set on me and he smiled charmingly. Adriana looked to me and smiled too." Bella, this is Jacob Black. Jake this is Isabella Swan. She doesn't come out much at all". She added to him.

"I can understand that". He joked and came around to stand in front of me. "Pleased to meet you Isabella". He reached out his hand and so did I, but he took my hand in his gently and placed a kiss upon it.

I blushed. "Just Bella, Jacob. And it's nice to meet you too".

"Alright Bella. Call me Jake, then". He smiled at me, letting go of my hand and pulling up a chair next to me.

I blushed again. He motioned to my hand. "Walking down the aisle soon?"

I smiled shyly. "Yeah."

Jake lifted his drink to his lips. "He's a lucky guy, I'm sure." He smiled at me, exposing his beautiful white, straight teeth.

I blushed again and cursed myself for it. This guy was on a record. For a moment I hoped he wasn't going to keep this up or else I'd faint from lack of blood anywhere else but my face.

"While we are on that conversation, how _is_ that drop dead gorgeous fiancé of yours, Bells?" Vivian asked me, and I had to laugh when I saw Sienna roll her eyes.

"Just drop dead."

All the girls laughed, and Jake chuckled lightly.

I raised an eyebrow at her. "Hey! _What_ did you promise?"

Sienna laughed. "I didn't, _Cass_ did. She's the one missing out on the fun".

Cass pouted and I couldn't help but smile before looking back to Vivian. "He's…good. Really good. He's happy with his degree, and yeah he's doing really well".

Vivian raised her eyebrows and Jenny hid her laugh. "Uh, Bells, I think she means how are the_ two_ of you doing? Together?"

"_Oh_! Um, fine. Fine!" I smiled and nodded. "We're doing great".

"Uh Oh". Vivian joked and the other girls laughed. "What's the problem?"

Jake turned to look at me, and I blushed yet again. I hated being the center of anyone's attention.

"N-Nothing". I stuttered, and shook my head.

Vivian sighed and placed a drink in front of me. "Start talking, sister."

I sighed, and for once I just wanted relief from the images of seeing him smoke, holding his head miserably, staring at me with those loveless eyes like he had last night. Suspecting that he didn't want to marry me when I loved him _more_ then life itself.

"I'm sorry Bells, I can't help this". Cass lifted her hands and turned to Vivian. "She's dating a jerk,_ that's_ what's wrong".

My eyes welled up with tears and I looked away. "He's not a jerk". I gritted through my teeth.

"I'm sure he isn't." Jake agreed next to me. "Only Bella would know what he's really like".

I smiled at him appreciatively.

_Thank you._

"Exactly. Jake's right". I added. "None of you know what he's really like. How genuinely kind and sweet he is. He looks after me. He_ loves_ me".

Sienna scoffed. "Honey, that's the thing. We do know what he's _really _like. Don't you remember what we did this afternoon?" She reminded me. "No guy would do that".

"What did he do?" Jake asked gently. "I think I can answer that. I am a guy after all". He motioned to himself jokingly and I laughed a little.

"Do you mind if I tell him, Bella?" Cass asked and shrugged. I didn't, not really. I knew people found out anyway.

"No, I guess not".

"Well, they had an argument because he started up smoking and all she asked him to do was quit."

Jake furrowed his eyebrows. "Okay?"

"No, you don't understand". Adriana motioned to me. "Bella's mum passed away from…" She trailed off.

Jake's eyes widened and he turned to me. "Oh, wow. I'm so _sorry_, Bella." He nodded slowly. "Ok, I think I understand. And he gave you a hard time about, let me guess, controlling him?" He added.

I nodded timidly.

He laughed and shook his head, taking another drink. "Wow, the male species. We really _are_ all alike." The girls laughed and I forced a smile.

He turned to me.

"What else?"

"He gets angry with her and turns the fight to make her feel guilty. So she ends up sleeping on the couch". Cass cut in.

Jake's eyebrows raised and he turned to me. "Oh, wow. Okay--"

"No, let us finish." Cass told him. "So then, Bella ends up feeling really guilty and tries to ring him today. He wouldn't answer. So we did a little experiment, and he answered the phone when I called but not for her. So there was no excuse. THEN, when I rang him, I asked him, just as a test you know, if he knew where Bella was. He told me he had no idea. And he was out, and Bella knew nothing about it". She took a deep breath in and looked at Jake skeptically. "So, what do you think? Plus, this is all in the space of two days. Not even."

Jake nodded slowly. "So when are you getting married?"

"Sunday". Adriana smirked and sipped her drink.

I bit my lower lip in agony. All my friends were laughing at my relationship and scoffing at it. I realized, tearfully, that no one here actually _thought_ we would end up married on Sunday. No one, except me.

Jake bit his lower lip. "Wow, okay, Bella. Being honest here, I'm quite familiar with guy behavior as I've see it in my friends, and shamefully sometimes in _myself_ a whole lot. First of all, if I was getting married to a girl, and not just any girl, but a girl as beautiful and obviously as precious as you are," I blushed at that.

"I wouldn't be treating her a week before the wedding like that. A lot of guys believe that marriage is the end of your blissful single life, and sure, whatever makes you happy," He joked, and I even had to laugh at that.

"But, it isn't. Not if you marry the right person. And this guy seems to already under the marriage blues, and he isn't even married to you yet! That can come thirty years into marriage, definitely not at the beginning, and definitely not a week before. That's when you should both be excited and happy. Everything should be complete bliss. Of course there's going to be the occasional stress with the planning, but that shouldn't come _close_ to the joy you should both be feeling. I'd be walking on _air _a week before my wedding if I truly loved the girl". He explained gently.

"You deserve that at least". He added softly.

"He's right, Bells". Sienna nodded, and I heard muffled agreement from the other girls too.

"What about the phone thing he did this afternoon?" Cass asked.

"Well, not answering her is just immature". He said straight out. "I'm not going to lie. That was plain rude, and disrespectful. And if anyone should take an interest in where his fiancé is twenty four seven, it should be _him_".

I tensed, and he looked at me. "Oh, no offence, Bella". He tried to smile at me. "I'm just speaking from a third perspective here. And I can't stand guys that have no respect. I've walloped quite a few of them to defend my girl friends".

I managed a weak smile and nodded. "Thanks, Jake".

Adriana smiled and turned to him. "Jake, why are guys such _jerks_?" She exclaimed dramatically.

He laughed nervously. "Oh, wow. Ok, why are guys--Well, where do I start?" He mused, and we all laughed hysterically at his expression.

One of the dance techno songs came on, and Adriana squealed. "Oh my God, girls! Best song! Lets go dance."

I laughed and waved my hand. "You guys go".

"Come on, Jake!"

He turned to me. "You okay, Bella?"

I smiled at him reassuringly. "I'm fine, Jake. Thank you. You go,_ really_." I encouraged him.

He smiled back at Adriana and looked at me. "I promised her a dance, but I'm not really much of a dancer. I'll be back." He gently nudged my arm and headed off. I watched as he danced with Adriana, and smiled. I wasn't a dancer, and I was clumsy. Bad combination for me.

He glanced at me while he was dancing, and after dancing for a while longer with her he said something and came back to me.

He smiled in a friendly way and held his hand out.

"Come on. Dance with me, Bella".

My eyes widened. "J-Jake, I can't. I'm _terrible_ at it".

He glanced up at the DJ and smiled. "It's just slow dancing, Bella. Not too bad. I'll lead you, come on. No one should be sitting here on their own. Especially you".

I smiled up at him shyly and blushed, before placing my hand in his. He smiled and nodded, leading me up and to the dance floor.

Every time I had danced with Edward, he'd lifted me on his own feet because he knew I was bad. I wasn't about to suggest that to Jake, though. So I was worried for him.

"So, you have issues with dancing, hmm?" He asked.

"Yeah". I nodded shamefully.

He laughed at my expression. "Relax, Bella. Ok." He held his hands out. "Place your hand on my shoulder. Just…there. Yes. And this hand…" He reached for mine and intertwined with his. "Stays with mine."

His other hand gently placed itself on my waist, a respective touch. I drew closer to him so it didn't look ridiculous, and with what he began to lead me. I grinned in how it became easier when my feet followed his and I was actually dancing, on my own! He grinned at me.

"You've got it!"

"Jake, I'm _dancing_!" I squealed, probably a bit too loudly. He laughed and nodded. "Yes, you are! And doing really well."

I had to admit; it felt nice to dance with someone who had faith in my own dancing abilities. I guess the saying was right. Nothing's impossible.

I smiled at that thought as Jake twirled me around the dance floor gracefully.

_These days, you barely even say my name,  
Like you don't really feel the same,  
I'm wondering what's to blame._

These nights, I fall asleep wondering where you are,  
It feels like we're falling apart,  
And it's only breaking my heart.

Cause if being with you means being alone,  
And never knowing when you're coming home,  
Then I guess I'm better off on my own.

But I can't move on,  
Cause that means forgetting, forgetting everything we had,  
Instead I keep running, keep running, I keep running back.  
Cause I keep forgetting, forgetting you treat me so bad,  
So I keep on coming, keep coming, I keep coming back.  
I keep coming back  
I keep running back  
I keep coming back  
I keep running back  
I keep coming, I keep coming back.

My friends say, that I should leave you behind,  
And stop wasting all of my time,  
They tell me that I'm outta my mind.

But I know that what we both share is real,  
And I've been willing to deal,  
With the way that you're making me feel.

Cause if being with you means being alone,  
And never knowing when you're coming home,  
Then I guess I'm better off on my own.

But I can't move on,  
Cause that means me forgetting, forgetting everything we had,  
Instead I keep running, keep running, I keep running back.  
Cause I keep forgetting, forgetting you treat me so bad,  
So I keep on coming, keep coming, I keep coming back.  
I keep coming back,  
I keep running back  
I keep coming back,  
I keep running back  
I keep coming, I keep coming back.

Ma-ma-ma-mama caught up,  
We done all heard the same story,  
Just different authors,  
this book crazy.

Always a lady,  
Looking for love where there's a maybe,  
They might could be together,  
They fight to be together,  
A'ight to be together.

Shorty, yeah he cheated,  
You say you don't need it,  
Turn around and leave it,  
Oh, he back next week.

Fuss... Fight,  
And then the whole thing repeat like nothing ever happened,  
Dat was just rapping,  
No publishing,  
Shorty you knew that he don't got the same government.

Lil mama can't move on,  
But it's her fault she struggling,  
She can't... move... on.

But I can't move on,  
Cause that means forgetting, forgetting everything we had,  
Instead I keep running, keep running, I keep coming back.  
I keep coming back,  
Keep running back,  
And I keep coming back,  
I keep running back,  
I keep coming back,  
I keep running back,  
I keep running, keep running back.  
I can keep coming back,  
I can keep coming back,  
I can keep running back,  
I can keep coming back,  
I can keep running back...  
To you.

I smiled as the song finished and he let me go. "And it's done". He smiled at me and lifted my hand. "Congratulations!"

I laughed and hugged him. "Thanks Jake".

"Sure, sure." He chuckled and hugged me back. "Anytime you want to go dancing again, and that fiancé of yours isn't up for it, let me know". He teased.

I laughed and pulled back. "You'll have to come over and meet Edward. You two would get along well."

He smiled a casual smile. "Sure, Bella. We should stay in contact, you know, as friends". He suggested lightly, and I paused for a moment, then nodded. I'm sure Edward wouldn't mind, because I'll tell him. I don't hide things from him.

"Invite me over. I'm flexible". He handed me his number he had written down earlier.

"Thanks. Will do". I smiled and placed it in my pocket. "I'll have to talk to Edward about it, though. You understand, right?"

"Of course". He smiled at me. "Let me know, Bella."

I nodded and looked back to the table where the shots were. Jacob followed my eyesight. "Up for another drink?"

I wrinkled my nose delicately. "I'm not sure I should". I admitted.

Adriana came dancing from behind me. "Don't be silly, Bella. Of course you should. At least another two". She dragged me back to the table and I looked back to Jacob.

"Guess that's a yes". I remarked and he laughed, reaching for my other arm.

"Don't worry, I'll look after you."

***

**Edward's POV.**

I had finished the majority of the first pizza, sighing at the open box in front of me, before glaring back at the TV. There was crap on after the sport, as usual.

I pulled my sleeves up and ran my fingers through my hair. Where was Bella? She should have been back by now, all the stores closed over an hour ago. I checked my watch.

That's when I lurched from the couch. _Shit,_ I hadn't even realized how_ late_ it was. Eleven thirty, and she hadn't even bothered to ring. I reluctantly pulled out my phone and flipped it open to see the same picture of Bella and I are home on the couch together. I searched through my phone book until I found Bella's and hit call.

I held it next to my ear and waited. It rang, and rang. And rang.

And _rang out._

I furrowed my eyebrows and stared at it. Now that was something that never happened. Bella had never missed my call unless she was in class and I knew she wasn't now.

I waited for a minute, figuring she'd see the missed call and call me back.

_Nothing._

I pulled it out again, when my house phone rang. I smirked and figured it was Bella calling, getting up to answer.

"Bella?"

"No. Sorry to disappoint you, son". Carlisle laughed on the other end.

I half smiled and closed my eyes. "Hey, Dad. What's up?"

"Not much, just wanting to confirm we're flying on Saturday morning at 11am."

"Uh…" I ran a hand through my hair. "…ok. Yeah. Bella's parents are flying in too, so I'll be there to pick the four of you up."

"Okay, good". He paused. "Speaking of Bella, isn't she _there_? It's very late".

I winced. What could I say? She's out and I have _no idea_ where? That would sound real good to my parents. I tried to think of something legitimate.

"She's, nah she's at Rose's place for a bit."

"Oh. Nice. A girl's night out?" He chuckled, and I forced a laugh.

"I guess so".

"Oh, what a shame then. Your mum wanted to chat with her, it's been a while. Well give her our love, ok?"

I smiled slightly. "Sure. I'll see you Saturday, then."

"How's the wedding plans going by the way?" He checked quickly. "Everything alright?"

I glanced down at my fingers and hoped to God I could fool my own father. "Yeah, everything's great. I'm really excited, Bella and I both are".

"Good, Good". He said happily; I could almost hear him smile. "See you Saturday then."

"Sure, Dad. Bye". I hung up the phone gently.

How the hell was I going to be able to do this with my parents…No, scratch that. _Both_ our parents' there waiting for us to get married. I couldn't do anything about it now. I couldn't walk out on my fiancé only six days before our wedding.

And speaking of waiting, I glanced at my watch again and cursed. It was quarter to twelve. Bella _knew_ I didn't like it when she arrived late anytime. The curfew in this house was twelve. At twelve we _both_ agreed we'd be in bed, unless under exceptional circumstances like study.

See, this is what pissed me off. James, the single happy-go-lucky bachelor got his fair share of women, and he didn't have to wait for one and sit around worrying. The lucky fucker got to go to bed whenever he chose. But me? I was up waiting for her cause fucked if I know whether she had her keys or not.

I rang her again, and she still didn't answer.

She was so damn stubborn. Maybe she wasn't answering on purpose cause I was rejecting her calls earlier. But there's no way she could have been one hundred percent sure of that.

"_Christ,_ Bella". I growled as the clock slid to ten to twelve and she still wasn't answering. I pulled out my phone again. This was getting ridiculous. Where on _earth_ was she?

I dialed Alice's number held it to my ear.

"Hello?"

"Ally? It's me."

"Hey, Edward. What's up?"

"Are you with Bella?" I asked, fidgeting with the hem of my shirt. She giggled at something and I heard Jasper's voice in the background. I rolled my eyes.

"Stop it, Jazz. Huh, Edward? No I'm not with Bella. Wait…why?"

"You're not?" I asked, surprised. "Is Rose?"

"Nope. She's out with Emmett."

"Are you _kidding_?"

"No, why?"

I sighed, frustrated. "I don't know where the hell she is. She left me dinner and a note saying she was out and I haven't heard from her."

"How long as she been gone?" Alice asked, concerned.

"Fucked if I know".

"Edward".

"Sorry. Look Ally, I'm going to go. I'll give her another ring. Talk to you later."

"Oh, well let me know if you don't hear from her by half past, ok?"

"Yep". I hung up and dialed Bella's number again. Sure enough, _nothing._

I was on the verge of seething as I remembered the call her friend made to me this afternoon. Maybe_ she_ knew where she was. I browsed the number and rang it. What was her name? Jesus, I couldn't even remember. Christine? Cathy?

I'd have to play it by ear.

It rang for a while, and just when I was about to hang up I heard a slurred voice answer and girls' giggling. "Hel…lo?"

"Um, hey". I mumbled uncomfortably. "Who's this again?"

"Cassssssss. Who the...who is this?" She slurred, her words barely making sense.

_Cass, that was it._

"Cass, it's Edward."

"Who?"

"Edward Cullen. Bella's…fiancé."

"OH! Oh My _God_, Edward fucking Cullen! Edward Cullen as in Bella Swan's fiancé; Edward Cullen! Hey shithead, what do_ you_ want?" She asked harshly.

I rolled my eyes. I knew this girl hated me and I wasn't fond of her either. Bella's friend or not, I didn't give a _shit._

"Is Bella there?"

"Why the fuck does it matter to you?"

I kept my God damn mouth shut and only replied nicely. "Can I talk to her if she is, please?"

"You don't care about her. Why should I?"

I gritted my teeth angrily. Okay, she was seriously getting on my last nerve. What gives her the right to presume shit like that? Damn bitch.

"Is she there?" I asked again, making my voice sound a hell of a lot sterner. "Put her on the phone. _Now_."

"Oh, now you're _ordering_ me". She giggled, and hiccupped. "Yeah, Bella's here. And guess what Prince Charming. You _aren't_ talking to her. Besides…" She giggled again. "…She doesn't need you. She's pretty much distracted by the hot new guy."

That was it. I blew, slamming my first into the armrest. "Put her on the _fucking _phone!"

"Is that Edward? Oh My God, stop being a bitch, Cass!" I heard someone say in the background, and the phone crackled before another voice answered.

"Edward?"

"Where is Bella?" I asked angrily. "Put her on the damn phone!"

"Edward, calm down. It's not what you think. Cass was just stirring. I'm glad you called, though. Bella's had a little too much to drink. Our fault". She added quickly. "I gave her a drink I didn't realize she had a bad reaction to. She's in pretty bad shape, one of my friends, Jacob, is just looking after her. Nothing else, I swear. I need you to come and get her, though. We're at the university pub. We've all been drinking, we can't drive".

I rubbed my head, more fucking pissed then I had been all week. Why the fuck was Bella drinking? She never had alcohol!

"What the hell have you guys done to her?" I questioned angrily. "Bunch of fucking_ great_ friends you are. I'll be there in ten minutes, and I'm_ only_ there to pick my fiancé up, so the rest of you can _walk_ the fuck home!" I added, closing the phone. More like slamming it.

I quickly grabbed my wallet and locked up, heading out to the car. I got in and slammed the door, the tires squealing a little as I turned the wheel and headed off. I was so pissed off, I swear I might just have smoke coming out of my ears. I made it there in five, and got out, making a run for the pub. The sooner I got her out of there, the better.

I opened the door and my eyes searched for her.

"Edward?"

I turned around to see the whole group of them. I recognized a few and stalked over. "Where is she?"

The brunette nudged behind her, and I saw her 'so called' friend, with Bella, his hand on her forehead as she lay still, unmoving. Fuck.

I shoved past the girls surrounding her, and the guy, Jacob or whatever his name was, stood in front of Bella in some sort of protective stance. Obviously, he didn't know who I was.

"Who the hell are you?"

I shoved him back, not in the mood for anyone's shit. "Bella's fiancé, that's who. So keep your god damn hands _off_ of her."

His eyes widened in surprise but I didn't waste another moment watching his reaction. I sighed and wrapped my arm around Bella's waist gently, lifting her up easily in my arms. She moaned softly, and wrapped her arms around my neck instinctively.

I would have smiled if I hadn't been so annoyed. Not really with her, just with these fucked up friends of hers.

"Edward". She moaned painfully.

"Are you alright?" I asked, pulling her up gently against my chest.

"Think…had…too much…drink…"She mumbled incoherently. I saw her eyes flutter open and closed, wet with tears. "I'm sorry…Edward…I'm…so…_sorry_…"

"Sshh, love." I reached for her bag and held it under my arm, not even bothering to thank the girl who handed it to me. I turned around and looked from her to them.

"You guys were meant to be watching out for her. If I _ever _see Bella in this state again, it will be the last straw". I raised my eyes from her friends to _him_, making sure the message applies.

I then turned around and headed back to the car, opening it and setting her in the passenger's seat gently. Her head slumped back and she whimpered. I closed the door and headed around to mine, getting in and heading off.

I kept looking back to her; unable to figure out exactly what state she was in. She seemed tipsy, asleep, and yet awake all at the same time.

"Ed..ward…" She murmured.

"Yeah Bella?"

"I_ love_ you." She mumbled softly, and began to shake her head. "Please don't break up with me."

I froze and looked back to her. She seemed to be asleep now, just sleep talking. How could I deny her that, yet again? It was as though every time she pleaded with me, my own mind went into overdrive. Forget about what I wanted, it was all about her. Give her _everything_. It was automatic, now.

But would giving her what she wanted risk me making, what could be…a mistake? A mistake we'd _both_ regret?

"Edward". She mumbled again.

I parked outside, and opened the door to lift her up in my arms. She was still mumbling incoherently as I opened the door and closed it. She weighed absolutely nothing, which concerned me. I rested her on the couch for a moment, and her head slumped back. She lifted her left arm over her head, and the light caught her engagement ring. It sparkled delicately, and I couldn't help but think it looked so beautiful there, on her finger.

She must have been exhausted, she hadn't woken.

"Oh, Bella". I whispered and bent down beside her. I gently stroked the hair out of her face and kissed her forehead lightly. I inhaled her scent, and my body instantly relaxed, like it was some kind of drug addiction to me now.

She didn't move, just kept breathing at the same slow pace.

I lifted her up in my arms and took her to our bed, setting her down before stripping her off her clothes. I had seen Bella in her underwear many times, and we had taken a further step where she had been topless with me, with just her panties on. But that's as far as it ever went.

I unzipped her dress and slid it down her body and off her legs, and gently unclasped her bra, trying not to look and make it easier for myself as I threw on one of my old shirts that she slept in. She whimpered softly, but said nothing. I took off her shoes, before grabbing one of her boxer shorts and sliding them up her legs, to her waist. I placed her dress to the side, before looking back to her. I sighed and got up on the bed, my arms on either side of her as I bent down and softly kissed her forehead. She sighed peacefully. I gently lifted her up and opened her side of the bed, laying her amongst the sheets and covering her up. I gently stroked her cheek, watching the way she scrunched her nose in the cutest way.

_I love her, I do. _

I placed the keys down on the table, undressing and pulling my old black pants I wear to bed, before turning the light off. I looked back to her, looking so helpless at that moment. I got into bed, lying on my elbow. Just watching her like this, she looked so tiny, like a little girl again. She attracted me, no doubt, but seeing her like this, my mind switched to Tanya and the differences became clear. Tanya was a woman, a real woman, with a real body and real attractive features. That's what I was attracted to, and my Bella would never have that.

Maybe Bella deserved someone like her, someone who was of her age maturity, the same stage in life. I was on the verge of finishing my education, and Bella had only just begun. She was still so young; I couldn't imagine why she wanted to be married at this time of her life. She should be having a ball being single and out dancing with her friends every night, not living the life of an older married woman. I was doing _this _to her.

That's why, in so many ways, I could see her life improving without me, and mine without her. I wasn't sure I was ready to live the life of a married man, and what if Bella fell pregnant?  
My mind retaliated at the thought. I was _nowhere_ near ready to be a father, yet I knew the moment I was married the expectation from our families, and in a way Bella, would arise. She might be ready to have a baby in the next year or so, but I wasn't. Damn, I was _still_ a kid in many ways. I wasn't a man looking for responsibility, and I knew I should have figured that out before I agreed to marry her.

There it was. I was becoming frustrated again, and I couldn't sleep. I got up and sighed deeply, reaching for my pants and fumbling with what I needed, before heading out the back, onto the verandah. I lit my cigarette, desperate for a long drag that I knew would calm me down and make me think rationally once again.

* * *

**So? What'd you think?**

**Are they gonna get married or what?**

** lol. **

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	5. A Night for Disaster

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**Bella's POV.**

I moved my face into the pillow gently, and my eyes fluttered open. I glanced up, rubbing my cheeks gently when I remembered. Edward…fight…Night out…Jacob…Edward coming for me…Oh crap. Crap, _crap._

I sat up hurriedly, quickly figuring out that wasn't the best thing to do. My head spun. Edward wasn't in bed.

I got up and noticed was changed. He changed me? I ran my hand through my messy hair as I tiptoed into the kitchen. He wasn't there. I figured he must have gone out when I heard ruffling outside on the veranda. I glanced out and saw him.

He was sitting there, hunched over, his elbows resting on his knees as he glanced out to the horizon. His eyes looked so thoughtful, and sad.

My heart broke for him and I almost decided against interrupting. But I really needed to talk to him. I bit my lip softly and opened the door.

He glanced my way, and quickly sat up.

"Hey".

"Hi". I tried to smile, hoping he wasn't too angry with me. He didn't seem to be; his features were in control now. He just seemed…expressionless.

"Can we talk?" I asked in a timid voice.

"Sure". He said huskily and cleared his throat. He patted the seat next to him. I headed over, sitting next to him. He glanced at me, but made no move to touch me.

He just waited.

"Edward, I-I…I'm so sorry". I apologized, feeling tears sting the back of my eyes at the memory of our fight. "I'm s-so sorry for everything. For the fight, for not telling you where I was last night, for making you have to come out in the middle of the night to get me because of what happened. I'm so s-sorry". I whispered tearfully. "I _r-really_ am".

He sighed. "I know you are, Bella".

I bit my lower lip. "Forgive me?"

He smiled a little, but it didn't reach his eyes as he reached for my hand and intertwined our fingers, before brushing away a stray tear. "Always".

I sighed thankfully, kissing his fingers and nuzzling into his hand lovingly. "Thank you".

He watched me for a moment, before reaching over and lifting me in his arms onto his lap. I smiled happily and wrapped my arms around his neck, pressing my lips to his cheek and planting little kisses downwards, till I reached his neck.

"Bella". He groaned softly. "Please, stop".

I pulled away immediately, a little self-conscious. "S-sorry. Did you want to talk about it…a-about what happened?"

He smiled slightly and pulled me closer to me. "You're so naive, baby. No, not at the moment. There's only one thing I want to do with you now". He stood up, keeping me in his arms. I squealed in surprise, holding onto him as he headed inside, kicking the door closed and carrying me to the double couch. My heart thumped frantically in my chest as he laid me down, before climbing next to me. He gently touched my nose with his, and my heart raced. I didn't want for him to initiate, I pressed my lips to his and kissed him lovingly. My hand twined in his hair as I felt him kiss me back, but for this once I dominated it, opening my mouth against his and kissing him with all the love and passion I felt for him. In every kiss, it was as though I tried to remind him how insanely in love I was with him. He settled in between my legs comfortably, his hands gently caressing my thighs. I sighed softly as his lips left mine and moved to my neck.

My grip tightened on his beautiful bronze hair as I felt him suck on my neck lightly.

I gently shoved at his chest. "Don't give me a hickey five days before the wedding". I pleaded, and he chuckled against the warmth of my neck and looked up at me.

"If you insist."

His hands reached to my sides and he began to tickle me. "Edward, n-no, stop!" I squealed, the mood ruined as I burst out in a laughing fit. He smiled at me.

"Tell me to stop, Bella".

"Ed-Ed-Edward…" I gasped between giggles, unable to speak a full sentence.

"I'm sorry, what?" He asked teasingly.

"S-s.-st…"I stuttered, trying to grab his hands as tears of laughter escaped my eyes. "Pl-Please!"

He chuckled and stopped, letting me go. I gasped for breath, collapsing back against the couch. I gently grasped his shirt and pulled him down with me, wrapping my arms around his neck gently. His arms encircled my waist, and buried his head in the curve of my neck.

It was the most sensual embrace I'd had from him in a log time, when we weren't kissing or doing anything like that. Just holding me in his arms like this.

"I love you, so much." I murmured in his ear. I felt him kiss my cheek in response, and begin to move away. I whimpered in protest, tightening my grip on him.

"No". I pleaded, "Stay with me".

He smiled down at me, brushing the hair away from my face and moving to take me in his arms again, this time more comfortably so I was lying on his chest. I leaned up to softly kiss his lips, but he held me there and deepened it; to my joy.

We kissed for several moments, his lips brushing over mine with increasing intensity. He broke it off, kissing the side of my mouth. I sighed contently and moved my head to his chest, closing my eyes as his arms tightened around me.

We slowly, silently fell into slumber together, knowing all was forgiven.

**Bella's POV.**

Everything seemed back to normal, and the days passed. After we fell asleep on the couch together, I had insisted to Edward that we talk about it. But he refused. He told me he loved me, that he didn't want to talk about the fight. That it was forgotten and forgiven. We fell back into the same routine. He helped me with last minute wedding plans, but everything was pretty much done. The cake, the reception, the guests, everyone had Rsvp'd.

I was getting married this Sunday. I smiled happily at the thought that had, and was constantly running through my mind, every minute of every day.

I would have been so convinced everything was perfect, had I not caught Edward outside for the occasional smoke, but I didn't bother him about it anymore. I loved him the way he was, and I couldn't, _wouldn't_…control him anymore.

_It's just nerves. _I reminded myself. _He's fine._

***

"Bella, how are you coming?" Alice asked impatiently outside my bedroom door. I heard bunch of giggling in the living room and smiled. Edward had already left for his Bachelor party, so all the girls had come to mine to get ready for hens night.

Alice had insisted I change into this ridiculously expensive dress, and though I loved it, I hated her for buying it for me. She'd be my sister-in-law in two days and I already loved her a great deal, but I didn't want my future family to be spending money on me. I wasn't even happy with Edward spending money on me.

"Nearly done". I called softly and emerged out with my dress on. Her eyes widened noticeably. "Oh, Bella! You look so beautiful! Come here, let me just add a bit of blush".

"Bella!" Rose, Sienna, Cass and my nine other girlfriends danced around me within seconds. "Beautiful! Oh, amazing! Gorgeous!"

I blushed horribly and managed a shy smile. "Thank Alice".

She laughed and draped a coat around me. "I don't need to do anything, Bella. You're naturally beautiful. Lets go, girls!"

A whole bunch of squealing entailed, and we all headed out. Alice hired a limo to drive us out, which made me feel even worse.

I knew she and Rose watched me carefully, and they had asked me a few times if everything was alright. I always said yes, but I was so worried about Edward.

His secrecy, his smoking, his swearing and short temper had become worse over the last day or so and I had desperately tried to cling to the part of him that was the man I loved, always reassuring him of that.

He had only ever brushed me off.

I felt like a naïve little girl, wanting to stay home and lie in our bed, shed tears for the man I adored, wait for him and tell him how much I loved him.

Yeah, like they'd let me do that.

"Chin up, girl". Alice smiled at me, lifting my chin. "Nerves?"

"Yeah".

I danced the night away that night, laughing and singing with my friends, and it was the biggest act I had put on in my life.

By twelve I was too tired, and insisted going home. The girls were a bit disappointed but smiled at me and agreed.

"No, no. Stay here. I'll go home by myself". I insisted and kissed them all goodbye.

Alice and Rose gave me that look, and I knew they suspected something. They offered to come home with me, but I insisted they stay out. I had enough for a taxi, I'd be fine.

They came down to wait with me, and it was an awkward silence.

"See you tomorrow". I murmured and gave them another hug. Rose looked confused, and Alice looked upset.

"Bella…" She trailed off.

"I have to go". I said quietly and opened the door to the taxi. I didn't turn around as I got in and told the taxi driver where I was going, heading home. The tears in my eyes never faded.

**Alice's POV.**

We stared after her, before Rose turned to look at me.

"Ok, something is _seriously_ wrong with her. She's quiet, but she looked like she wanted to burst into tears."

"She's been that way the last few days, and I don't think it's got to do with her family or anything". I added. "Otherwise she would have said something. My guess is the only person who she cares about the most, the only person who can affect her like _that_…"

"Edward". We both said, and Rose nodded.

"Most definitely. What do you think he's done? Maybe they had a fight?"

"There's one way to find out." I pulled out my phone and headed outside. Rose followed me, and stood there as I dialled Edward's number.

He answered, or I presume he did because the phone stopped ringing. But all I could hear was loud music, beer bottles clinking, hollering and laughing.

"Edward? Edward!" I called loudly.

I heard his laugh, and then he shouted in the phone; "Hello? Who's ask may is calling?"

I rolled my eyes. Dear God, he was absolutely _wasted_, again

"Edward, you dick! It's Alice!"

"Who's Alice?" More laughter. "Alice…Alice?"

"Your fucking sister!" I shouted. "_Jesus,_ Edward. How much have you had to drink already?"

"Oh, Alice. My dear sister Alice. What did you ask? Hey Jasper! It's fucking Alice!" Snickering. Chuckling. More glasses being clinked together.

Rose rolled her eyes and looked away. She could obviously hear, I mean he was practically screaming.

"Edward, where are you?"

"Where are we? Glasshouse? We're in glasshouse. So come to glasshouse, ok Alice?"

I didn't bother to answer and slammed the phone shut, shaking my head slightly. I glanced at Rose. "He's bad this time. I think we better head over there and see what this is all about. I have a feeling they're up to no good".

Rose nodded and took my arm. "Lets go".

We had to walk in the cold, which I wasn't too excited about. We got there within fifteen minutes, and honestly I was scared as to what I'd find.

We headed down there, and when we arrived it was packed. We rummaged through the crowd, heading for the tables when we spotted them on one of the couches.

Rose gripped my arm, and I saw red. My teeth clenched, my fists tightened and I wanted to hit him badly and that…slut…sitting next to him. Her fake nails raking through his hair, touching his arm, laughing with him.

_Flirting_ with him.

"Fucking _whore_!" Rosalie screamed, and I followed her over there.

"Edward!" I called angry. He immediately looked up like a deer caught in the headlights, even though I had just spoken to him on the phone minutes ago.

"Hey princess!" Rosalie sneered and grabbed the blonde by her hair. She screeched in surprise as Rosalie pulled her back and shoved her to the floor. "Keep your manicured claws off him! He's fucking engaged!"

"Rose!" Edward jumped up and glared at her. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

He went to help the blonde up, stumbling a little, but I shoved him back on the sofa. "Edward, what the hell are you doing with _her_?"

"Alice don't start. Tanya is a friend". He shoved past me and helped her up, holding her head. "I'm so sorry". I heard him apologize, and shook my head in disgust, turning around.

Rose had her hands on her hips, intimidating the shit out of all the girls in the club, even Tanya. Though she tried not to show it.

"How dare you!" She glared at Rosalie and tried to fix her hair. "Stupid bitch!"

Rosalie lunged at her but Edward got in between them. "Rose!" He shouted angrily and shook her a little.

"Ow! Let me go, Edward!" Rose tried to shove past him.

Suddenly Edward was shoved back by Emmett, breaking his hold on Rosalie. "Don't fuckin' touch her like that again, man".

"Christ!" Edward turned around and his angry eyes feasted on me. "What the hell do you want, anyway? Both of you!" He turned to glare at Rosalie, but wouldn't step an inch closer to her with Emmett by her side.

"Alice?" He turned to look at me again. "There better be a damn good reason for this or I swear to God--"

He stepped closer to me with fire in his eyes. I took a step back, Even though he was my brother. I knew it didn't matter how drunk he was, he'd never hurt me. Jasper stepped in front of me protectively, blocking Edward from getting too close.

Edward backed a step and held his hands up.

"She's my fucking_ sister_, Jasper. Move."

"Not when you're like this, Edward". Jasper's look could kill at that very moment. "Calm the hell down, alright?"

"You want me to calm down? Rose just attacked a friend of mine and I'm the one who needs to calm down? You know what, fuck you all, I don't need this shit." He turned around and walked away, more like staggered away, with Tanya close at his heels.

I glared dangerously after her.

"Hey, Tanya". Rose called and Tanya turned around.

"Edward's like a brother to me, so I'm only going to say this _once_. Stay away from him. He's getting married, and he loves Bella. So get your goddamn claws out of him and back off. Or you'll regret it".

Tanya smirked. "You know what, I think I'm done for tonight anyway. FYI Barbie, Edward doesn't want to get married to your little twelve-year-old friend. He wants and needs a_ real_ woman. And if he does the right thing and dumps her ass, that's exactly what he'll get". She motioned to herself with a smug smirk and that's when I lost it.

I lunged at her, dying to pull those blonde streaks from the roots.

"YOU'LL **NEVER** BE WITH EDWARD!" I shouted at her. Jasper grabbed me around the waist and held me back.

"We'll see". Tanya just smirked and headed in the opposite direction.

The rest of the night was a blur. I didn't see Edward anymore. I have no idea what time he got home. Rose and I headed home after that episode, and all I could do that night, alone, was think about my best friend. She loved my asshole of a brother with all her heart, and if what Tanya said was true and Edward didn't _want_ to get married...

Why was love so _hard_ for some people? Why couldn't they have what Jasper and I have? Or Emmett and Rose?

_So what now?_

What if Edward left her before the wedding on Sunday?

_Oh please, don't do this to Bella. _I prayed.

_She's been torn up enough. Don't destroy the rest of her heart. _

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	6. Will You be there?

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**Bella's POV.**

"Bella". He woke me up gently.

"Mmm". I blindly reached for his face, but he gently brushed my hand away. "Bella, I'm going to pick up our parents from the airport. Ok? I'll be back".

"Be careful". I whispered.

He didn't answer and I heard the door close. I pouted, slightly disappointed I didn't get a kiss. In fact, he hadn't really kissed me the last few days at all.

I brushed it off, and concentrated on the fact that was getting married tomorrow. Wow, I thought, sinking deeply into my sheets. I was getting married! Tomorrow, to the man I loved.

I kept thinking back on last night and thinking about my hens night last night. The disaster of it all. I bit my lower lip, thinking I couldn't even remember what time Edward came home from his bachelor party.

I wonder how that went.

I stared at my engagement ring for the next hour.

_Knock Knock. _

"Mmm". I moaned and got up. I tiptoed to the door and opened it to see Alice. She grinned at me, but there was something less perky about her.

"Hey Bells". She smiled and hopped in, kissing my cheek. "We have to go to our appointments today, last minute before the wedding. So quick, shower!"

_Never mind._

I nodded and managed a half smile. "Ok."

She continued rambling on about what else we had to do as I pulled our my clothes, the ones she picked for me, and headed for the bathroom. I excused myself and she said she'd ring up the church to double check everything.

I got dressed in the skirt and top she gave me, and when I stepped out she placed a dainty pair of heels in front of me. I sighed softly and she smiled.

"Oh come on, Bells. Your parents and in laws will be here soon. They're comfortable, I promise".

I smiled and nodded shyly, slipping into them. Hmm.

They were actually quite comfortable. I walked up the hall with them and found them pretty good. At least, I hoped, I won't twist an ankle in these.

"Alice?" I turned to look at her as she was gathering my make up and hers so she could do it for me.

"Yes?" She came and sat in front of me, smiling as she held all her make up in her lap.

"Alice," I said again cautiously. "Are you angry with me about last night?"

"What? Oh god no! Bella, you're not really into that scene, I understand that". She insisted, starting to powder my face.

I closed my eyes. "Are you sure? I-I mean, I didn't ruin it for you girls?"

"No! Bella, don't be silly. We were happy you came out at all". She joked and I made a face. She laughed and continued to work on my face.

Within an hour, she'd done my make up and curled my long hair loosely. I managed a smile in the mirror.

"Thank you, Alice". I hugged her tightly.

"Anytime. That's nothing compared to how beautiful you're going to look tomorrow". She smiled and pulled me up. "So, can I do anything for you before the folks come?"

"No, no. Everything's done". I headed into the kitchen and we glanced around to make sure everything was clean and presentable. Alice shook her head lightly.

"My God, Bella. You make it seem like you're so easy to live with".

I giggled at that.

_Knock Knock._

"Ooh! That's got to be our parents". Alice grinned and we both raced for the door. She pulled it open, and there stood the four of them. Carlisle, Esme, Charlie. I heard the car, and Edward's footsteps as he made his way up.

"Mum! Dad!" Alice squealed and hugged them tightly.

"Hi, Dad". I reached for him and hugged him tightly. He held me close, tightly in his arms. "Oh, Bella". He sighed. "I've missed you so much baby."

He wasn't really one for affection, so we soon backed away and I invited him in. "How was the flight?" I joked, knowing Charlie hated flying.

He grimaced. "Same old, same old."

I laughed.

"Bella!" Esme turned to me and hugged me ever so tightly. I didn't mind, I loved her like she was my mother. She kissed my cheek and pulled away at arms length to smile lovingly at me.

"You get _more_ beautiful every time I see you." She gently cupped my cheek, turning to her husband. "Isn't that so, Carlisle?"

He turned to me and smiled warmly. "She does. How's my favourite soon-to-be daughter in law?" He held out his hands and I embraced him happily. I loved Carlisle almost as much as I loved my own father. He kissed my head and backed away gently.

"Good to see you, Bella".

"You too Carlisle". I smiled. "Please, come in". I smiled after them and felt a light kiss to my forehead. I glanced up to see Edward there, putting the luggage down. I smiled widely at his kiss and leaned into him. "Thank you". I whispered against his chest.

He chuckled and wrapped his arms lightly around me. "For what? Picking up our parents or the kiss?"

"Both". I teased shyly and I felt his silent laughter.

"Silly Bella". He kissed my cheek, my nose, my chin, and lastly… my lips. I wrapped my arms around his neck and smiled blissfully, closing my eyes. I leaned forward again, and we kissed for a few moments before we heard a soft throat clearing.

Charlie.

I blushed furiously and pulled away, turning around to see them watching us. Or should I say watching us, but trying to make it look discreet.

Esme smiled at us happily. "You two make such a lovely couple. Are you excited?"

"Very". I smiled and felt Edward wrap me in his arms.

"Good. Good". She smiled and looked back around to the apartment. "My, Bella. You've certainly added the womanly touch that it needed. Everything is beautiful, perfect. Isn't it dear?" She nudged Carlisle and he nodded.

"I like it a lot". He lifted up the picture of Edward and I that was on my coffee table and smiled at it. Esme saw it and smiled.

"Oh, isn't that adorable?"

"Yes! I took that!" Alice smiled proudly.

I blushed and Charlie came up behind them to look. "One of their best". He nodded and looked to me with a wink.

I giggled.

Edward moved from my embrace. "Come on, I'll show you what the rest of the place now looks like." He motioned for the three to follow him, and Alice and I stayed behind.

I took Alice's hand. "You're coming out to dinner with us tonight, right?"

"Yep. Jasper, Emmett and Rose too. Don't worry."

"Good". I smiled nervously and rubbed my hands together. Everyone would be there that was directly involved in wedding. Alice was my maid of honour, and Jasper was Edward's best man. Alice wrapped an arm around me.

"Everything will be fine, Bella. Don't worry".

She smiled with a reassuring edge that I knew she had to be right. I nodded and embraced her lightly. "I feel bad though, that your parents are staying in a hotel and Charlie is staying here."

She pulled back to look me in the eye. "Bella, please. My parents have a lot of money so accommodation isn't a problem. You know that. Don't put yourself through an unnecessary guilt trip".

I bit my lip and nodded. "Ok."

"Come on," She smiled and lifted Charlie's luggage. "Lets take it to the spare room".

We lugged it to the room where Edward had his old single bed. It was very comfortable though, so I'm sure Charlie would have no problems sleeping there for the night.

We placed his bag next to the bed, and I tided up a few extra things for him.

"Bella?" I heard Edward call me.

I let go of the suitcase and headed into the kitchen with the biggest smile I could muster. "Yes?"

He greeted me in the doorway, wrapping an arm around my waist. "Sweetheart, are we going to lunch?"

"Oh, don't make Bella cook now". Esme insisted genuinely.

"Oh no, mum. Bella already cooked". Alice grinned at me proudly. "She's so good. She cooked pot roast".

Charlie smiled and sat down at the table. "That's my girl".

I blushed. "I was going to serve you something a little more, you know, exotic, but--"

"Oh no, dear. Honestly, you went to too much trouble. You didn't need to spoil us. We wanted to spoil you with dinner tonight". Esme smiled at me.

I smiled shyly back. "It was no trouble, Esme. Really. If you're hungry, we can eat now".

Esme turned to Carlisle and Charlie with a playful smile. "Hungry? Neither of them were too fond of the plane food".

Edward chuckled. "Like father, like son".

Carlisle took Esme's hand and laughed. "That's for sure." He turned to look at me. "I am a little hungry to be honest. But don't go to any trouble, Bella".

Charlie nodded. "Yeah, Bells".

"No, no! No trouble. Really, Dad. I'll set the table, now."

Edward rested against the wall as I covered the table with the utensils, listening to Carlisle's update on how things were at Forks Hospital and how he and Charlie have been having to deal with the rebellious adolescents lately during holiday season.

I lifted the pot off the oven, and winced at how heavy it was. I grasped at the tea towel so I could place the pot on it and not burn the wooden tabletop. I managed to do it and let out a breath. Alice was talking to Charlie about her degree, but I saw her glance at me worriedly. I gave her a smile, insisting I was fine.

I bent down to get the plates, piling them under my chin as they stacked up. I held onto the door for support so I wouldn't fall and break them all. A lot of these were Esme's expensive dishes, after all. She'd given me so much I didn't deserve. All the Cullen's had. Edward had given me the most precious, the one I thing I never really deserved--his love.

I nearly slipped once or twice, trying to hall them out. I looked up for help, and that's when I saw Alice rush over to help me, but not before giving Edward a really dirty, disgusted look. I could almost hear her in my head.

_Get off your ass and help her, Edward!_

I gave her a look. "Alice, it's ok".

"No it's not, Bella". She muttered, and I soon felt Edward kneel down to help. "Here".

"Buzz off". Alice hissed at him. "You're too late".

"Alice!" I hissed back at her. "It's ok, honestly! I'm just…clumsy".

"That's no excuse for my brother being a lazy ass. Help your damn fiancé, why don't you!" She glared at him and he returned the look.

"Shut up, alright? I'm sick of your shit!"

"Ok, you two need to stop!" I hissed softly, realizing we were behind the cabinets on the floor arguing while our parents were sitting at the table merely a few meters away. And they thought everything was perfect.

We quickly got up, and Edward took the plates from me and headed to the table. Alice headed in the opposite direction to reach for the cups. I lifted the pot and headed to the table.

"Oh, here dear. Let me help you". Esme opened the pot and smiled. "My, it looks delicious! Edward tells me you're a fantastic cook".

I blushed. "Thank you".

"If Bella cooked this the way she used to, my mouth Is already watering". Charlie joked and we laughed.

She insisted I sit down, and I took the chair next to Edward as she filled everyone's plate. "Alice? Help me so Bella doesn't have to get up. Get the drinks". She asked over her shoulder.

"Sure, mum". Alice hopped over to the fridge and pulled out the cold jug of water and lemonade we had. I tensed in my seat, even though I knew I should relax.

Edward seemed restless in my seat, and didn't look at me the whole time.

Esme started talking about the wedding, and it only seemed to make him worse. While she was distracted arguing with Carlisle about something, I gently ran my fingers through Edward's hair. "You alright?" I whispered softly.

He nodded and moved away slightly, so I dropped my hand. "Yeah".

Esme turned back to me and smiled widely, reaching for my left hand to examine the ring. "You can't miss it. Isn't it beautiful?" She extended my hand to Charlie and Carlisle who smiled in approval.

"Stunning. Lovely." They answered.

"Edward did a great job". Carlisle nodded and winked at his son.

Edward managed a smile and nodded. "Thanks, but Bella came with me to pick it out. She's the one with the taste, not me. I wanted to get her something bigger but she refused."

I blushed. "You could have bought me anything, Edward. It didn't matter. This was more then enough".

Esme nodded and nudged Edward. "You've got a treasure in this girl. She loves the simple things in life." She smiled at me and I bit my lip shyly.

"She sure does". Alice glowered at me and I smiled appreciatively back at her. Edward remained very quiet.

We ate for a while, and I received all the complements I possibly could for one meal. I was sure I was the colour of Alice's favourite red lipstick by the end of lunch.

Edward disappeared outside, and I took off the table. Convincing Esme, Carlisle and Charlie to relax, I headed into the kitchen to wash up.

I heard Alice chat to them and the noise of the TV as I stacked up the dishes. I went to turn the water on, when I heard voices from outside. One voice, actually.

I gently pushed back the blinds and looked outside. Edward was talking on the phone and I could hear every word he was saying.

"I can't _stand_ it. I'm losing it man. I just can't--"

He paused. "Exactly! Why should I have to pretend that I'm just as excited? Damn it James, I'm _sick_ of it. I work so damn hard in my degree to get to the top and there's always one higher then me, I should be earning a hell of a lot more for myself but I can't because I'm as busy with class as it is, and now there's the wedding. Everything would be a hell of a lot simpler if I had my single life back. It's like _nothing_ is going right!"

"No, that's the thing. I'm not ok, alright? I'm not okay with...this..._mediocre_ life!"

That broke my heart. I covered my mouth, feeling the tears sting the back of my eyes. He didn't _want_ to get married, that's what he was saying. I slid down the cabinet door, sobbing quietly into my arms. I knew he felt pressured. I_ knew_ it.

I loved him with all my heart, and for some reason, he didn't want me _enough_ to be with me until the end of our lives. I wiped my tears from my cheek. What had I _done? _Had I made him unhappy?

I heard him hang up his phone and make his way inside. Still sobbing, I stumbled up and ran for the bedroom through the back of the kitchen so he wouldn't catch me.

"Bella?" I heard Alice call.

I quickly locked the door and soon I heard her knocking. "Bells? You ok?"

I cleared my throat to hopefully get rid of any suspicions that I was crying. "Yeah, just changing. I'll be out in a minute".

"Okay." She said hesitantly. "If you sure".

"Yeah".

I heard her footsteps as she walked away and breathed out unsteadily. I lifted my hands to my knees and hugged myself tightly, hoping to keep the remaining parts of my heart together. I didn't know what to do. Confront him? Let it go and pretend I never heard it, like I wasn't meant to?

I buried my head on my knees, trying to control my tears until I knew I had been in there long enough. I didn't want to have to explain myself. My mind was numb, I didn't know what to think or do. I got up and headed out to face them, ridding my facial expressions of any insecurity.

**

"I propose a toast". Carlisle smiled at us and lifted his glass at dinner later that night with the family.

"To Edward and Bella. For many happy years of marriage".

"Cheers".

Alice grinned and with Jasper, Emmett, Rose and Esme, they all clinked their classes. Edward sat next to me, and I kept my gaze down. I wanted to touch him, but I was afraid.

Edward wrapped a haste arm around my shoulders and lifted his glass slightly. "Thank you all".

I leaned into him, resting my head on his shoulder. He kissed the top of my head, and I tried to smile convincingly. Just the feel of his lips made my body tingle and I touched my hand to his shirt lovingly.

"I love you". I whispered against his neck and leaned up to kiss his cheek with all the love and tenderness I could muster.

He didn't answer.

That night Charlie slept in the spare bed. Edward moved to his side without a word, and fell asleep.

I silently cried myself to sleep.

**

In the morning I had no chance of talking to Edward. Alice came early and kidnapped me, throwing me in the car and to her house to get ready. The boys were getting changed at our apartment.

Alice knew something. I knew she did.

We went inside, and as soon as I came face to face with my wedding gown, I wanted to cry. It was so beautiful, so perfect.

"Come on, Bells. We've got our hair and make up appointment".

And that's how quickly it went. Esme, Alice, Rose, and my three other bridesmaids all came to the hairdressers and we got our hair and make up done. Alice was circling me, her eyes lit with joy as she observed my new hair.

"Oh, Bella. You look so beautiful".

I glanced up at the mirror and was partly shocked. Everything was emphasized, all my features. I looked different. Esme smiled at me through the mirror.

"Very, very beautiful".

I blushed and thanked her.

The numbing feeling wouldn't go away, and I still couldn't find it in me to remind myself I was getting married today. Not when I desperately wanted to know what was bothering my fiancé.

All I wanted to do was be with him, kiss him, tell him how much I loved him.

But before the wedding, I didn't see how any of that would be possible.

I was driven back to Alice's, still in a daze as she helped me into my wedding dress. I desperately tried to fight back my tears as the time got nearer. Every second that went by, I my desire to marry him grew. I _wanted_ to be his forever. Then my mind would repeat it.

_Everything would be a hell of a lot simpler if I had my single life back. It's like nothing is going right!" _

I bit my lip hard as Alice placed the veil on my head and my bridesmaids surrounded me, fussing with their gowns.

_Everything would be a hell of a lot simpler if I had my single life back. It's like nothing is going right!" _

"Bella, Jasper and Edward are here. Stay in this room, don't come out! You can't see each other before the wedding. I need the rings". She held out her hand.

I handed her the box from my bag and she skipped out.

I walked to the window, and looked out. It was slightly windy, but nothing too bad. That's when I saw him. Edward moved away from Jasper, lighting another cigarette.

_Everything would be a hell of a lot simpler if I had my single life back. It's like nothing is going right!" _

He grasped his head and knelt down slightly.

"You ok, Edward?" Jasper called.

He quickly sat up and I saw a flash of his face contorted in pain before his features realigned. I couldn't help it, and the tears began to stream down my cheeks, probably ruining my make up.

_What are we doing?_

"I love you, Edward. So, _so_ much. Please, _please_…" I whimpered tearfully. "I want to marry you. I do. Don'tdo this to me. I_ love_ you!" I cried, my last moment of desperation for my fairytale ending.

As soon as he disappeared in the house, I sunk to the floor, crying into my hands. My heart had had it. I _couldn't_ do it anymore. I loved him too much to make him miserable. I wouldn't.

_I won't make him miserable. No matter how much it hurts me._

"Bella?"

"Oh My God. Bella!" I felt two sets of arms help me up. "What's wrong?"

It was Alice and Rose. I couldn't help but sob when I saw them. They looked so beautiful, and so happy. I was ruining _everything_. For them, for their family, and mostly…for the man I loved.

I shook my head softly, trying to speak through my tears. "Alice I _c-can't_…Edward…"

"Are you nervous, Bella? That's okay, you know…"

I moved out of her grasp. "Where is Edward?" I choked desperately. "I have to see him, please."

She must of seen the pain in my eyes, because she pointed across the hall. Still crying, I ran down the hall and opened it softly. He was there, beautiful as ever as he knelt down, his fists over his eyes as he breathed in and out unsteadily. He looked up when he heard the noise and I saw it in his eyes. Saw exactly the confirmation I needed.

_He didn't want this. _

"Bella". He choked and quickly stood up, attempting a playful smile. "What are you doing here? I thought the bride wasn't supposed..." He trailed off when he saw my face properly. Or the fact that I was crying.

"Bella?" He asked softly. "What's wrong?"

I walked toward him slowly, my dress flowing behind me.

I wiped at my cheeks before reaching for his arms shakily. "You don't _want_ to marry me, do you?"

His eyes widened and he shook his head, stuttering; "W-what? Of course I do--"

"Edward". I pleaded tearfully. "Don't do this. Please, don't. I love you. I l-love you m-more then anything, a-anyone in this w-world. That's w-why I'm p-pleading with you t-to tell me the _truth_." I reached to touch his cheek. "I p-pressured you into this. It doesn't have to b-be this way". I whispered, afraid I'd start crying again. "Y-You have a _choice_, Edward. Y-You can walk away if this isn't w-what_ you_ want."

He just looked at me, without saying a word.

My eyes burned through his. "You don't have to be miserable". I pleaded tearfully, grasping his shirt gently. "J-Just tell me y-you don't want this, and I-I-it's okay!" I felt another tear trickle down my cheek.

"Bella". He whispered painfully, closing his eyes. "Oh God, I'm so sorry._ So sorry_ I put you through this".

"Sorry you said yes to marrying me before you were ready?" I questioned timidly, and for a moment the hope lingered in me.

But instead he stepped on it and crushed the remaining pieces of my heart, nodding his answer. "Yes. I just...didn't want to walk away and see you _hurt_."

His decision was made, I could see it in his eyes.

_Be strong, Bella._

I couldn't look into his beautiful green eyes as I glanced at the engagement ring on my left hand. I memorized how it looked there, before gently pulling it off and placing it in his hand.

I had to let him go. Because I loved him.

"Here". I whispered and closed his palm around it, not looking into his eyes. "I'm giving you the freedom you want, Edward".

"Bella, I…"

His hand clenched around the ring and I everything was silent for a moment before he whispered; "Thank you."

I nodded against his chest, unable to control the tears as I leaned up and placed a chaste kiss on his cheek. "I wish you every blessing with the girl that you _do_ marry." I managed a weak smile, but i was sincere. I wanted him to be _happy_. "Good luck with everything, Edward".

His voice was very soft and tender, full of emotion. "You too, Bella".

I couldn't blame him, after all this was it. We had known each other, either as friends or lovers, for almost my entire life. Now, we were going our separate ways.

And even though it broke my heart to pieces, I knew I _had_ to walk away. So I did, closing the door to his room behind me.

And he let me go.

"Bella!" Alice ran up to me. "W-What's going on?"

"A-Alice," I sobbed. "I need two favours. I need you to go in there for me, and tell everyone that Edward and I have talked, and the wedding has been called off."

She gasped. "What? Bella, no!"

"Alice. He doesn't _want_ it". I whispered brokenly against her shoulder. "Please, let him be. It's what he wants".

"You love him that much?" She asked, her voice shaking.

I nodded. "And, can I have the keys to your car? I need to go to the apartment and pack up my things. I can't stay there."

She looked as if she was about to burst into tears. "B-But where are you going to go?"

I paused. I hadn't really thought of that. "I'll apply f-for a dorm room of my own".

"No." She took my hand. "You'll move in with Rose and I. There's another room. There's _more_ then enough room._ Please_, Bella. Let me do this for you".

I looked into her eyes and wandered how lucky I could have gotten to get her for a best friend. "Thank you". I whispered and hugged her tightly. She handed me her car keys and kissed my cheek.

"I'm _sorry_ he did this."

I pulled back slightly and shook my head. "It doesn't _matter_, Alice. As long as he's happy." I took the keys off her and headed outside, still in my wedding dress. I got into the car and sped to the apartment, crying the entire time.

**

**Alice's POV.**

I didn't know what I was feeling. A combination of seething rage, and heart break for my best friend. I couldn't _believe_ this.

Rose came behind me, startling me.

"Alice? What is it? Where's Bella?"

"G-Gone". I sobbed, turning around to face her. Rosalie's face was drained of any colour. "What?"

"What's going on!?" Jasper and Emmett ran into the room. "I just saw Bella leave in Alice's car. Did she forget something?"

"Bella's gone apparently". Rose turned back to me. "What's going on, Alice?"

"The wedding is called off". I shoved past them and headed straight for Edward's room, my fists clenched. I was out for blood, and the only blood I wanted was his.

_He doesn't know what he's done. _

* * *

**Oh dear.  
**

**Don't shoot me!  
**

**Reviews? **


	7. Going Gone

**What can i say? Thank you very much! **

**Only one thing...one of you i think commented on grammar and spelling. I'm from Australia, so alot of what i write is correct by australian standards. My word document spell-checks it with australian grammar and spelling, not american or any other. I apoligise for this and if i see something, i'll change it to the american spelling but i can't catch everything. So please understand sometimes it may be a genuine mistake, but sometimes it is just incorrect by _your_ standards of grammar and spelling, but to mine they are correct. This is also in relation to GOMD...**

**Which by the way folks, the next chapter is nearly done!**

**Anyway..on with the story! Enjoy! x**

* * *

**Edward's POV.**

I sat on the edge of the bed, holding Bella's small fragile-like ring in my hands. My mind tried to process it, and I couldn't. I didn't know what to feel.

My heart thumped loudly, as if acknowledging the one good thing. I was free. I had wished for it, and now I had it.

Free of a married life I wasn't ready for. Or free of being married to a girl I wasn't sure was the one for me. Regardless, I was free. Single. I wasn't going to be tied down.

Bella had done that for me, and at that moment, I couldn't have been more grateful. She was right, I should have told her truth a long time ago. Luckily she had sensed it before we continued with this mistake.

Even though I knew a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders, I couldn't help but feel disgusted with myself every time I saw Bella crying. Every one of those tears had pricked me like a needle. I hated seeing anyone, but especially _her _cry. She was so fragile and breakable; it made me feel even worse.

I had caused her _pain._

The door slammed open loudly, and I snapped up to see Alice there.

_Shit._

I sat up and swallowed hard. This wasn't going to end well. Alice was already pissed off at me from last night's scenario. This would be the icing on the cake for her. She'd be furious and I wasn't sure I could blame her. Bella was her best friend, and I knew I had hurt her.

"You". She stood in front of me with a vicious glare, and what was even worse was that she looked like she had been crying too.

Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper came in from behind her.

"Alice, please…" I begged with her, holding my hands up. "Bella and I did what was best--"

"You make me sick". She gritted through her teeth. "You…you are so_ low_. You have_ no_ idea what you've done to Bella, and to yourself. You broke her heart!"

_Fuck._

I couldn't feel much worse.

"I-I'm sorry. I mean I--"

"Damn _right_ you're sorry. And if you're not, you're going to be". She swore, turning to Jasper and taking a small box from him. With that she flung it at me with such force I'd never seen from her. "Here, take it."

I caught it just before it hit the ground and stared up at her. "Alice, I never meant to hurt her". I pleaded with her. "I swear--"

"Don't even start with that crap, Edward". Rosalie sneered.

Jasper just shook his head. "I expected better from you, man. Bella Is family to us. You can't play with a girl's feelings like that. If you didn't want to marry her, you should have ended it a long time ago".

I looked down, shaking my head. I knew I deserved this. I opened the box slightly to see it was our wedding rings. What _would_ have been Bella and my wedding rings, anyway.

Alice glared at me with fire in her eyes. "God damn you, Edward. _God damn_ you! You had the chance to marry her, make Bella yours, and you let it pass. I hope for your sake, you don't regret it".

She turned around with Rose following her, and slammed the door shut. I sighed and closed the lid of the box, placing it in my pocket. I ran my fingers through my hair anxiously, not knowing what to do. What would our family and friends say? Where was Bella now?

I figured she was out there telling them, so I thought it might be best for me to stay inside.

"Why did you do it, Edward?" Emmett asked next to Jasper. "Why did you let her walk away? Don't you love her?"

I glanced at Bella's ring in my palm. "I don't know". I whispered." I-I don't--I mean, I just…Bella and I had lost something, you know? We were never intimate, we weren't spending a lot of time together…I just…I wasn't ready for this."

"What do you want then?" Jasper asked with an annoyed edge to his voice. "I don't understand. You want a single life of reckless women? Is that it? Women who will be intimate with you, who'll give you all the physical satisfaction you'd ever want? Life's more then that, Edward." He got up and walked out.

Emmett just stared at me and crossed his arms. I could see a lecture coming from him too.

I sighed and gripped my hair, frustrated. "Can't _anyone _understand? Why am I being made to look like the villain here? I didn't love the girl!" I got up and faced Emmett. "Lets face it, if I didn't want to marry her, I obviously didn't love her enough. If I had married her, I would had hurt her a _hell_ of a lot worse then I have now. At least it wasn't too late!"

"Might as well have been". Emmett retorted. "You were minutes away, Edward. Minutes".

"But it _wasn't_, was it?" I hissed angrily. "Christ". I opened the door and left him there, heading out to the foyer. I was suddenly afraid of what I'd find.

To my surprise, a lot of people, mostly Bella's friends and mine, had left. What was left was pretty much our family. Charlie, and my family and a few close guests who were packing to leave.

Carlisle didn't look at me. "The guests at the church have been notified. They are leaving."

"Dad, mum". I sat down at the table with them. They still wouldn't look at me. "Please. Try and understand".

"Understand what, Edward?" Carlisle turned to look at me with disappointment in his eyes. "Understand why you left Bella two minutes before the wedding?"

"I didn't leave her!" I protested. "She came to my room and…"

Esme's look wasn't one I wanted to argue with, so I trailed off, watching her. She gave me a look. "Edward, we know what happened. Alice told us."

I hung my head, waiting for it.

Carlisle shook his head slightly and turned around. "Edward, I'm not going to lie. I'm disappointed in you. _Not_ because you didn't want to marry Bella. I mean she's a beautiful girl, lovely and kind. And we always thought she'd be perfect for you. But if it's not meant to be, it's not meant to be. Your mother and I can understand that. What we are disappointed in is you hiding it from us all until now. More importantly hiding it from Bella, and hurting her like this in the end."

"Can you imagine what she must have been like this morning?" Esme looked at me with sadness in her eyes. "She would have been so excited to be marrying you, processing that she'd be with you for the rest of her life. In a matter of seconds, you destroyed it all. Do you know how much that would hurt?!" She scolded me. "No, you_ don't_. You don't do _this_ to your fiancé minutes before the wedding, Edward. You just _don't_. We thought we raised you to be honest with yourself and those around you. You had many chances to tell her before the wedding. Even a week ago wouldn't have been as bad as now."

I ran my fingers through my hair shakily. "Mum, I'm sorry. I know I deserve a lecture, but I-I guess I'm just weak around Bella. I mean, I did love her--"

"Why did you do it then, Edward? Why did you let her walk away?" Carlisle looked at me. "Why do you think she can't make you happy?"

"I just wasn't ready for this". I shook my head slightly. "Bella was so excited about it, and I just…couldn't…think like she did. I wasn't ready to be tied down for life. I just feel so young, and marriage…" I swallowed hard, "…even with Bella, was just…unthinkable. I've only ever known Bella my whole life. I've never had another serious girlfriend. I just don't know if we're right for each other."

Carlisle nodded slowly. "I see."

Esme turned to look at me, and I could see the tears in her eyes. "You loved each other, Edward. How could you not be sure--"

"Mum--" I pleaded.

"Esme." Carlisle took her hand to stop her. "It's done, sweetheart." He turned to look at me. "Edward, you're our son and we love you, regardless of whatever you choose. But your mother loved Bella too, so please be understanding about that."

I nodded and looked down. "I'm sorry mum".

She didn't look at me as she got up and picked up her bag. "Alright, Edward." She turned to Carlisle. "I'll wait for you in the car. We can catch the late afternoon plane."

I knew they would be heading home after this, and she wouldn't even look at me. I sighed and covered my head with my hands.

Carlisle touched my shoulder gently.

"Don't worry son, she'll come around." I looked up at him and he held eye contact. "One thing though, Edward. You must understand. You've ended it with Bella, you have to _let her go_."

I swallowed and nodded. "I know, Dad."

He watched me carefully. "Alright." He pulled me to him and embraced me. "Good luck, son. I hope you find what you're looking for." He gave me a small smile and patted my back.

"Thanks Dad. Tell mum that I love her, ok?"

He smiled softly. "I will. She loves you too, Edward. She always will, no matter what". He headed out, shutting the door softly behind him.

**

**Bella's POV.**

I didn't know when Edward would be back, but I couldn't face him again. I parked Alice's car on the sidewalk and headed in, unlocking the apartment with my keys.

For the last time.

I stumbled in, trying to control my tears as I searched for my suitcase at the top of the dresser. I jumped and grabbed hold of it, pulling it down. I opened it, and reaching for my clothes, and pulled them all from the hooks and placed them gently in my bag.

_Knock Knock._

I quickly wiped my cheeks, hoping it wasn't Edward. I headed to the door, opening it to see Alice. She smiled sadly, and I saw all her bags behind her. Suitcases, and carry bags.

I smiled weakly through my tears. I'd need them all, I didn't realise how many things of mine I'd have to remove from here.

"Oh, thank you Alice". I reached forward and hugged her.

She hugged me back and then pulled away, touching the threads of silk on my arm. "Bella, we need to get you out of this dress".

I knew I was crying as she helped me undress and take off my wedding dress. I couldn't bear to look at it as I changed into a loose pair of pants and a tank top. I tied my lovely curled hair up and off my face, rubbing at my cheeks. She took my hands in hers and rubbed them together. "Sshh, Bella. Calm down. It's okay to cry".

I couldn't control it anymore, and burst into long-awaited tears of my heartbreak against her shoulder as she cradled me in her arms for the longest time.

**

**Jasper's POV.**

"I'd say Alice is here. She drove my car". I pointed to Bella's apartment. Emmett and Rose drove me over in their car, and sure enough I spotted it.

"Shit, poor Bella". Emmett shook his head and we got out of the car. I knew how he felt. My heart broke for the girl. I guess Alice was inside consoling her, or helping her pack. Probably both.

We headed upstairs and knocked softly.

"Coming". I heard Alice's voice. She opened it and managed a sad smile. I took her in my arms and kissed her.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah". She nodded against my chest.

"How is Bella?" Rose asked next to us. "Where is she?"

Alice pointed into the bedroom. Rose went silently while Alice filled us out.

"She's moving in with Rose and I. We need help to get all her things into our place. Please".

"Of course". I answered without hesitation and Emmett nodded. "We'll do whatever she needs. She's our friend too".

Alice smiled at me and kissed me again, before looking to Emmett. "Thank you. Come on." I was following her to the bedroom when my phone went off. Hanging back, I answered it.

"Hello?"

"Jasper."

"Edward?"

"Yeah, it's me."

I sighed. "What, man? If Alice finds out I'm talking to you she'll kill me."

"I know she's upset, and I'm sorry about that Jazz. I really am." He sounded horrible. "I'm feeling like shit right now. Everyone's angry with me. I need my friends, please. You guys have to understand why I didn't want this".

I looked down and shook my head slightly. "Edward, Bella's our friend too and she's in a worse state. She's our priority at the moment. You have to understand that."

He went quiet for a moment. "She's that bad?"

I sighed. "You have no idea. We're in your apartment now."

"My apartment?" He sounded surprised. "What are you doing_ there_?"

I furrowed my eyebrows. "We're helping her pack, man. What do you think? She's going to continue living with you?" I chuckled dryly.

He was quiet for a moment.

I waited, but he didn't answer back.

"Edward?"

"Where's she going to live?" He asked weakly.

"With Rose and Alice." I answered, them immediately regretted it. What if Bella didn't want him to know? _Shit._

"You didn't hear that from me". I quickly added. "Anyway man, I gotta go. We'll probably be a few hours, so try and stay away from here, alright? For Bella's sake."

He breathed out and cleared his throat. "Sure, yeah. I'll just…hang around. Thanks Jazz."

"Thanks?"

"For helping her". He replied softly.

I nodded slowly and turned around. "Alright. I'll talk to you later".

"Yeah."

"Bye". I shut my phone and headed into the bedroom. Alice was watching me, still holding Bella as Emmett and Rose were folding her clothes for her and placing them in the bag. "Who was that?" She mouthed. "Edward?"

I nodded and she rolled her eyes, holding Bella tighter. "Sshh". She whispered amongst Bella's heartbreakingly soft sobs.

I bent down and reached for her hand gently. "Bells?"

She looked up, and fuck. She looked terrible. My heart broke for her as she reached forward and hugged me. She was so tiny; I hadn't remembered her this small. I cradled her gently and Alice smiled.

"Just stay with her". She pleaded and I nodded, sitting down and holding her in my arms. She was so fragile; I didn't know how to handle her. I stroked her hair gently. Bella had always been like a little sister to me, and every sob of hers made it harder not to be angered at Edward.

Not when I saw how much she loved him by letting him go.

Alice began to take out Bella's shoes that were next to Edward's, and put them in her bag, before opening all her draws and taking out pyjamas and underwear. Everything went into bags and boxers.

Emmett and Rose finished with her clothes, and Emmett zipped up the suitcase as Rose opened the bedside draws and took out books that belonged to Bella. That was what Bella's stuff mostly consisted of. All her books.

Emmett began to stack all her University work into another box. I could feel Bella's tears against my shirt, soaking it. I didn't mind, though. I just let her cry, and tried to soothe her.

It was the only way she'd move on. She needed to get rid of everything that reminded her of Edward, no matter how hard it was.

Alice picked up the last few things, being Bella's cushions that she had brought to place on the bed. She then glanced to the nightstand, and saw a picture of Edward and Bella embracing. I held Bella close as Alice opened the back of the frame, and took out the photo. She then placed the frame itself in the box.

When the bedroom was done, all I could see was the bed, and the empty walls. Alice had even removed the small curtains and placed it in the box.  
"We can use them at our place". She told Rose softly. "Why should Edward get to keep them, anyway? Bella bought them."

I glanced at the open closet, and it looked practically empty. All that was left was Edward's clothes and shoes, which took up only a small amount.

"Bella". Rose asked gently, and Bella lifted her face from my chest. "What do you want to do with the…pictures?"

"Throw them out?" Emmett suggested.

"No. No, There's a box…" Bella removed herself from my arms and pointed at a box next to the sofa in the TV room. Alice went over and lifted it up, and we saw it. It was a medium-sized box, absolutely filled with photos of Bella and Edward's life together.

Rose bit her lip slightly and glanced at Alice questionably. I knew they were wondering what to do with it.

Bella was crying as she told Alice; "L-Leave it. I can't take it with me. Let Edward do what he wants with it."

Alice nodded and dropped the picture into it, closing the box back up and leaving it next to his sofa. "Alright. Lets go to the bathroom".

"We'll go to the kitchen". Rose insisted, nudging Emmett. "We'll get it done faster".

Alice nodded. "Okay."

"Do you need me to help you baby?" I asked Alice.

She glanced at Bella and shook her head. "It's ok. Just stay with Bella, Jazz."

I nodded and helped Bella up from the floor. "Come on, Bells." She felt so weak; I lifted her in my arms and carried her to the sofa. I sat down and she curled up in my lap.

I stroked her hair lightly.

"It's ok, Bella". I soothed. "It's okay. Everything is going to be_ okay_."

Her sobs had died down, she was just motionless. Lifeless. She was pale and unmoving. It scared me to the point that I nearly considered taking her to the hospital.

"Bella, Bella. Please, breathe". I pleaded, stroking her cheek. She sucked in a small breath and shook her head lightly. Her eyes opened, wet with tears.

_Knock Knock._

I sighed and glanced at the door. Now who could that be? I gently moved Bella to the sofa, and got up, opening it.

Charlie stood there.

"Oh, Hi Chief Swan". I nodded respectfully.

"Jasper". He nodded. "Where's my daughter?"

I opened the door and allowed him in. He saw Bella and immediately took her in his arms. "Oh, baby". He whispered, lifting her up in his arms and holding her close. I saw her arms reach for him, too.

I closed the door and headed into the bathroom to give them some privacy. I was glad, though. Bella needed her father.

I opened the door to the bathroom, seeing Alice there. She looked up to me. "Who was that?"

"Charlie". I said softly and sat down. "I left them alone".

She smiled tiredly and nodded. "That's probably a good thing." She sighed and glanced around her to all of Bella's bottles of god-knows what that Alice probably bought her. I smiled at the thought.

Alice crawled over to me and I hugged her tightly, kissing her nose and her lips. "You're doing a really nice thing for Bella". I whispered against her hair.

"She's my best friend, Jazz". Her voice was shaking. "But he's my brother. I just don't know what to do".

"You can be loyal to both, babe". I insisted, kissing her lips again. "Don't feel bad."

She nodded and kissed me, a little deeper this time. I wrapped my arms around her, my personal heaven. "I love you". I whispered when we parted.

She smiled back at me.

"I love you so much".

"Come on," I said, taking one of the boxes. "I'll help you".

**Bella's POV.**

I was tired of crying. _Tired._ As I stayed cradled in my father's arms, completely out of tears, I pondered my life as it was.

Charlie had been ropable, and had made it clear that he intended on talking to Edward about it. I knew what he meant, and had pleaded with him to stay away.

"I will, if you do". He had replied. "I_ never _want you to see him again. He's not good for you, Bella. Do you understand me? If he tries to see you again, I want you to tell me and I'll get a restraining order put on him."

A restraining order on the man I loved. _This _is what it had come to. I had nodded, as painful as it was hearing those words. Charlie held me close, wiping the tears from my cheek.

"I'll never let him hurt you like that again."

"Again?" I had questioned weakly. "Dad, he's the one who never wanted to marry me. I don't think you'll ever have to worry about him coming back".

Charlie had only shaken his head in disagreement. "Bella, you are an angel. You _are_, sweetheart. You are everything a man could want. It won't surprise me at all if he comes back…crawling on his hands and knees."

I rolled my eyes and snuggled close to him. That was my father for you. He believed I was too good for any man, and that they'd all come back. I knew that wasn't reality. I wasn't good enough for Edward, and he finally saw it too.

It was time to let go. I had to be strong.

"I'll be alright, Dad". I whispered, sitting up. "I will be".

"That's my girl". He smiled at me and kissed my head. "You're only nineteen, baby. There's a million more out there. Remember that".

I nodded and managed a very weak smile, though I knew I'd never find another like Edward.

He kissed my temple and sat up, looking towards the boxers. "Do you want me to buy you a dorm of your own?"

"No, dad". I didn't want him to spend more money on me. He didn't have a great deal as it was. "Rose and Alice have offered for me to move in with them. I'm sure I'll find a job, and work for one on my own."

"Bella--"

"Please". I begged him. "Dad, I need my independence with this. Please?"

He eventually nodded. "If you promise me that if you need money, you'll ask."

"I promise".

He nodded and looked down. "Good".

"When's your plane?" I asked softly.

"Five tonight". He glanced at his watch. "If you need me to stay--"

"It's alright, Dad". I insisted. "I'll be fine."

He nodded. "Alright." He kissed my head again and got up. "I'll help you get your things to Alice and Rosalie's dorm then."

"Ok". I headed inside, seeing the kitchen was nearly done. All my work had been placed into boxers, all my kitchen supplies which weren't many. Most were Edward's.

Little things of mine like tea towels, mats, and decorative things on walls had been removed and placed into bags and boxers. I held back the tears desperately.

_This isn't our apartment anymore. It's his._

I took out the keys I had, and headed to the bathroom while Charlie helped Emmett and Rose. Jasper and Alice were working fast to remove all my things. The bathroom was the worst. It looked horribly empty without my things cluttered everywhere. Though to Edward, he'd probably be happy he didn't have to go through all my things anymore.

"Jasper". I whispered, and he turned around with Alice.

"Bella". Alice smiled softly. "Are you alright, sweetheart?"

I nodded, wrapping one arm around myself. "Yeah. Thank you. Jasper? Do you think you could give these to…him?" I dangled my keys from my fingers.

Jasper nodded and took them from me. "Sure, Bells. Anything you need".

"Thank you so much". I whispered murmured genuinely. "I really appreciate your help. Um, I'm going to check the other rooms". I told Alice weakly, and grabbed a bag for myself as I headed to the spare room. There wasn't a great deal of mine, just a few things that I placed in the bag. I then headed to the living room, where I took down the ornaments and opened the drawer under the TV. I could feel the tears at the back of my eyes as I pulled out all my DVDs that I had brought from home, from the ones that were his.

By the time they were all in boxers, I was crying again. I cursed myself for it and reminded myself to be strong.

_It was done._

Emmett and Rose came into the view, placing my photo frames in my bag and placing the photos that were in them in the box next to the sofa. I knew it was wrong, but I couldn't keep them, and I didn't have the heart to burn them. At least if Edward did, I wouldn't have to see it.

When everyone gathered in the TV room, there were about twelve big boxers and three smaller suitcases. Alice ran a hand through her short hair. "I think we're done".

Jasper and Emmett were running around check under beds and in drawers to make sure we had everything. Alice and Rose came up to hug me, seeing the tears in my eyes.

"Don't worry, Bells". Rose took my hands and smiled at me. "We're going to have a lot of fun, just us three living together. I promise. You'll _love_ it".

"Thank you so much for this". I hugged them tightly for a few moments.

"Lets go, Bells". Charlie lifted two of the suitcases. "I'll take the suitcases and two of boxers in my car. I think that's all I'll fit".

"I'll take six of the boxers". Alice insisted. "My car can take them. Actually seven, cause Bella can hold one in her lap."

"Right. The last three boxers we can take". Emmett motioned to himself, Rose and Jasper. "They'll fit in my boot".

"Thank you so much guys". I was overwhelmed at how amazing my friends were.

Emmett smiled at me. "Anything, Bells. We care about you a great deal, you know".

Rose and Jasper nodded in agreement. I couldn't help but smile through my tears. With them at my side, I knew I_ would_ get through this.

"Lets go".

Jasper locked up with the keys I gave him, and we all got everything downstairs. The cars were loaded with the boxers, and soon we were on our way. As Alice and I drove off last, I glanced back to the apartment and said my silent farewell to the place I had lived with the man I loved. Knowing he would be happier now, made it easier to stay strong.

"Goodbye". I whispered, partly for the place I had called home, partly for Edward. I caught one last glance before we drove out of sight, and on to my new home, my new life without him.

**

**Edward's POV.**

I drove around helplessly, not sure where to go. I ended up at a bar; reminding myself I couldn't have too much because I was driving. I had one, and swallowed it down slowly, thinking back on Jasper's conversation.  
She was at our apartment…_my_ apartment…packing. My heart felt uneasy, and I rubbed my chest. It was more of a shock then anything. It's all happened so quickly. One minute we were so close, and now she's removing herself wholly from my life. I don't know why I didn't think of it. I felt so stupid. I didn't stop to think that when I returned home, Bella wouldn't be there. I guess for nearly seven months of living with her, and being with her for the last six years, I wasn't used to it.

It was just I, now. I was single, and available. I wasn't going to be tied down anymore. I smiled, even though it felt slightly forced.

_This was what was right. _I reminded myself of all the internal monologues I had had with myself over the last few days.

_Bella and I are not meant to be together. _

I swallowed the last of my drink and winced at the burn. My phone beeped a tune I recognized as a message. I pulled it out and opened it.

It was from Jasper.

_We're done. She's out. You can come home._

I placed my phone back in my pocket and got up, nodding to the bartender before heading out. I pulled out my keys and started the car, heading home. After today, I just wanted to go to bed.

I got out when I arrived, and closed the car.

I headed up, and pulled out my keys. I unlocked the door hesitantly and opened it, turning on the light and stepping in.

I took a deep breath, and my eyes adjusted. I couldn't deny it, _something _felt different. I glanced around, and took in my surroundings. Bella's ornaments were gone, her books on the coffee table, her glasses that I remember seeing there only hours before. I placed my keys on the table and closed the door softly behind me.

Why did it feel so _weird_? This was my home.

I headed inside, to the kitchen. It was perfectly clean. Bella's books were rid from the table, except for my work. I placed my wallet and phone on the table, before heading into the bathroom to wash my face. I turned on the light, and it was the biggest difference. All of Bella's things were gone. Her bottles I had gone crazy over, her lotions, her make up…everything. In a way I was glad, as all those things used to annoy the fuck out of me.

Now, everything of mine was where it should be. I smiled slightly and washed my face, turning off the water and wiping my face with the towel. I placed it back, and headed into all the other rooms, lastly my bedroom.

It didn't look different, but it felt different. The only thing I noticed was my bedside table, cluttered with my papers and a book I was reading. Hers was now completely empty. The bed was bare, instead of the damn pillows she'd always had to decorate it. I liked it better this way anyway.

I peeled off my tux, bringing the shirt over my head. Only in my boxers, I climbed into my side of the bed and breathed in. At least that's one thing that hadn't changed. The familiar scent of freesias on the pillow overwhelmed me, and I soon fell asleep.

* * *

**The familiar smell of freesias he smells is Bella's scent. It's still there because she's only just moved out. Wait for a few weeks when her scent slowly fades away.**

**Review?  
**


	8. I Made A Mistake of Giving Me to You

**Ok, Wow, I'm so sorry for the delay. You wouldn't believe the last two weeks. Things have been INSANE. For all of you who are waiting for GOMD, it's coming! It's ironic, because my best friend and I are in the very same situation now lol and it mucked up my whole week, my inspiration to write...I was like arrghh! **

**Anyway, here you go! Thank you for all the reviews! x**

**PS. "Maccas" is McDonalds, just in case some of you aren't familiar with the nickname. **

* * *

**Edward's POV.**

Freezing. So, _so_ cold. I shivered under the blankets, reaching across the bed for Bella's warm body to cuddle up to.

"Mmm. Bella". I murmured, still half asleep. I kept moving forward trying to reach her. Where was she? I moved an inch forward and my head slammed against the table next to the bed.

"Ah! Fuck!" I cursed, waking me up completely. I shot up, realizing I was on the edge of the bed._ Bella's_ side. My eyes opened as I remembered.  
What _used_ to be Bella's side.

_God you idiot, Edward. She's gone, remember?_

I breathed out and reached for my head. Shit, that hurt. I glanced at the time. 6am. I moaned and got back under the covers, trying to warm myself. I had university at ten, so I had a few more hours to sleep.

I shivered uncontrollably, tightening the covers around me as I tried to fall back asleep.

No chance. Half an hour later I cursed under my breath and pulled back the blankets, throwing on some warm clothes. I crossed my arms over my chest to gather warmth, heading into the kitchen. I turned on the kettle, before deciding to shower.

I grabbed my clothes and closed the bathroom door behind me, stripping and twisting the hot water tap as much as I dared.

I moaned as I got in. _Much better._

I got out at one point to get my wash from the drawer, when I realized Bella's stuff wasn't cluttering the wall on top of the shower anymore. I reached for mine, thankful for that.

Twenty minutes later I got out and got changed, running the towel over my damp, messy hair.

I checked myself out in the mirror quickly, before heading back out. I headed into the kitchen. I was seriously in the mood for bacon and eggs, but I didn't know how to make it. I sighed. Bella was the one that used to do it.

I made myself a cup of coffee, and just a couple slices of toast. I sat at the table, not sure what to do. I stared at the chair opposite me, the silence deafening as I ate. I hated the silence more then anything. I had only a few bites of the toast, before I couldn't stand it anymore.

I got up and turned on the TV to drown out the silence, putting it up reasonably loud to distract me. I sat back at the table and finished my breakfast quickly. I didn't really know what to watch, as Bella and I would rarely put on the TV.

I left it on as I organized my work, figuring out what I needed today. I placed the rest on the table, leaving it in a bit of a mess. I figured I would organize it as soon as I got home.

It was nice to be able to leave a mess and know Bella wouldn't be coming in and trying to fix it up. I wouldn't loose anything now.

I finished and placed my plate and mug in the sink, glancing at the time. I was a little early, but I could do some extra homework and study at the university library like I needed to.

I gathered up my textbook and notes, heading out not long after. I locked up and jogged down to the car, opening the door and getting in.

I drove to the university and headed in, running my fingers through my hair tiredly. This was good, quiet time.

I pulled out my work notes and got to work.

**Bella's POV.**

I was making breakfast for Rose and Alice, appreciative that they allowed me to stay here. Their place was about the same size as Edward 's apartment had been. I winced painfully at the thought of him and tried to push it away. I wasn't going to cry anymore.

My bedroom, my own bedroom, was nice. I had set up most of my things yesterday afternoon with everyone's help. There was a spare bed, and I didn't mind it. It wasn't as comfortable as…

_Stop, Bella._

It was nice and comfortable enough for me. I wasn't used to a single bed, but I figured I would slowly get used to it. My curtains were hung on the big window in my room, and all my books had been fit in the bookcase. I wasn't complaining at all. Overall, it was a lovely place. Living with my two best friends would only make it better.

Alice walked in, yawning. "My God, it's freezing. What are you doing Bells?" She took in a deep breath. "Oh My God! It smells so--"

"What smells so good?" Rose mumbled, walking in behind her.

I smiled shyly and tucked a lock of my hair behind my ear. Alice squealed. "Look, Rose! Bella's made us breakfast".

"Bella". Rose smiled her infamous smile at me. "You didn't have to, really. We love having you here, regardless. But if you want to cook for us…"

I giggled at that, and it felt nice just to be able to do that and not feel horrible. Alice hugged me tightly. "Love you, Bella. You have no idea how good it is to see you smile. Keep it up, huh?" She pulled back to smile at me.

Rose came up and the three of us hugged. She smiled at me. "It's not the end of the world, Bells. See? You'll smile again".

I nodded shyly.

"Come on. Lets get ready for Uni."

**Edward. **

"Edward". A familiar purr came from behind me.

I smiled without turning around. "Hey Tanya".

She came up from behind me and smiled at me. "How are you, stranger? How's your life as a married man?"

I glanced at my textbook. "Uh, yeah that didn't happen."

If anything, her smile got bigger, contradicting with what she said next. "Oh, I'm sorry Edward. What happened?"

I managed a smile. "I guess Bella noticed things, unusual behaviour. She figured it out and came to see me. We broke it off there and then."

"Are you happy about it?" She asked cautiously. "After all, when we spoke about it you didn't _want_ to get married".

"Oh _God_, yeah." I looked up to her with a smile. "It's_ so_ much easier. I feel better about everything. I just feel bad with not telling her when I should have. I led her on and it was wrong of me."

Tanya smiled and wrapped her arms around my neck from behind. "Now don't you go worrying about it. I don't want to see you tense". She rubbed my shoulders slowly, and I almost moaned.

This is a talent of hers. One thing like this, and I wanted her. All I could think about was having her.

"Thanks". I reached for her hands gently, and her fingers rubbed against mine. She bent so her lips were at my cheek. Her perfume was very strong and unfamiliar.

"Anytime." She kissed my cheek and, without moving her hands from mine, she moved so she could see my face. "Hey. There's a party next Friday. You should come. I'll be there." She added suggestively.

_Fuck yes!_

"Sure." I smiled casually.

"Great". She smiled and reached into her notebook, ripping out a page and pulling out a pen. She wrote down the details and gave it to me.

"Meet you there". She winked and touched my hand once more.

"Definitely."

She lifted her books to her chest and smiled. "Well, see you in class".

She had already gone before I could say anything else. I nodded to myself and placed the paper in my pocket for later, before turning back to my textbook. This was good, I thought to myself smugly. A night out with Tanya. It couldn't be a better time, or better way to celebrate my single status in six years.

**

In class it was strange. When Bella and I had been dating, I admittedly had a hard time resisting temptation, though I never cheated on her. Girls in my last would tempt me to no end, offer me one nightstands, anything they could get. Even when most of them knew I was engaged. When I had made it clear that I did not intend on cheating on Bella, they had eventually backed off. The looks longing I still sometimes caught, but it wasn't as bad as it was.

Now, it was different. Somehow they all must have heard that Bella and I were no longer together, and they flocked to me.

I couldn't get away from it.

"Hi, Edward." Liana smiled at me as I opened the door. It was as if she jumped out of nowhere. She was a small; round girl that I swear had a crush on me ever since I first saw her. She was the last girl I'd be with, so there was never any problems with her.

"Hi". I barely managed a smile as I tried to move past her. She grabbed my arm.

"Wait, Edward, I was wondering, seeing as you're single now, if you wanted to go out for dinner tonight?"

"I can't". I blurted out, trying to think of an excuse. "I have plans with my family. Sorry."

"Well what about--"

"Take your seats, class". Our teacher called.

Thank God.

I bolted away from her.

**

After class I headed out, and was on my way to another when I felt another hand on my arm. I turned around instinctively to see Jessica. She reminded me a great deal of Tanya looks wise, but the girl couldn't understand the word no. She was ridiculously stupid. After the amount of times I told her I was with Bella and that's that, she still tried to grab me through my jeans or something completely out of line. She was hot, but she plainly freaked me out.

"Hi, Eddie".

Oh yeah. And that, too. On top of a million other reasons, I _hated _that nickname.

"Hi, Jessica. If you'll excuse me, I have to go--"

"Not so fast". She stood in front of me. "Are you up for some fun tonight?"

"I am. With my friends. I have plans". I removed her hand from my chest and walked away as quickly as I could.

"Eddie!" I heard her squeal after me, but I ignored her.

**

A Week Later. 

"Hey, Bells. How are you coping?" Sienna wrapped an arm around me as we headed into our elective class together.

I managed a sad smile and shrugged. "As well as I can, I guess".

"Oh, sweetheart. Don't worry". She pulled me so tightly against her shoulder I winced, but the comforting gesture was nice. "We are going to find you a totally amazing guy to date, and then--"

"No, Sienna".

I couldn't stand the thought of dating anyone else. I rephrased from thinking his name, but I knew I could never be with anyone but him. His name made my heart ache, but I couldn't help that. This was what he wanted--His single life. I knew he'd date, I knew he'd find other girls, and as much as the thought caused my heart to shatter, I knew I had to be strong. We were not together anymore, and I had to remember it wasn't my responsibility to care for him.

"Oh, Bells. Give another guy a chance, huh? Just because…he…hurt you, doesn't mean the same thing will happen again." She gave me a pleading look. "At least say you'll come out for some drinks tonight".

I shook my head. "No, I'm sorry. I can't". I walked into class, keeping my head down. I just wished right now a lightening bolt would strike me down. I wanted to be rid of the pain in my heart; I couldn't handle the intensity of it. I had dreamed of saying I do, having that beautiful ring on my finger that symbolized my love for him, and all that time he had been dreaming of the opposite. Getting rid of me, having his old lifestyle.

I barely paid attention in class, and tactfully managed to avoid my class friends. I headed out, knowing I should get some lunch before I head home but not feeling like it. I messaged Rose and Alice, telling them I'd be at their place.

My place now. _Our place._

They had already given me a spare key, so I had no problems. I didn't have a car at my disposal anymore, so it was lucky Rose and Alice lived in campus…only a five-minute walk from the actual university.

I headed in, and closed the door behind me. I sighed and headed to my room, keeping everything clean for my friends. I dropped my books on their spare bed, which was now mine. My eyes stung at the thought. The bed looked so lonely and small compared to the large one I had shared with…_Edward._

My heart hurt at the mention of him. I had to stop. I had been so delusional, believing in a happy ending, and it came to an end. I had to face reality, and face a new life. And I knew what. I had to get a job to help pay for all the groceries, and my own income from now on. As much as I had protested, Edward had helped with most of my finances as well as Charlie. But now it would only be Charlie, and I wouldn't allow that. I had to get a job to help myself, and I also needed a car.

With that, I headed out to the combined forum room where the students could use the computers. Keeping my head down, I silently headed to the closest computer and sat down.

"Bella?" A soft voice came from behind me.

I turned around and saw a familiar face. I blinked, and smiled. "Hi, Jake".

He smiled at me and motioned to the computer next to me. "Mind if I sit next to you? I have to send in an essay".

"Sure". I answered softly and he did. We did what we had to do for a few minutes, and then he turned to me.

"How are you, Bella? Really?"

I winced. "You heard, huh?"

"Yeah, it's kinda going around. Sorry, I don't mean to bring it up if you'd prefer not to talk about it".

I managed a sad smile. "It doesn't matter whether I talk about it or not. It's not going to change the situation. I'm ok."

He nodded and looked down. "Believe it or not, I know how what it feels like."

I glanced at him and his friendly, soft smile. I felt drawn to him, and wanted to know. Anything for him to continue talking, to take my mind off what I shouldn't. "Tell me about it. Please".

He smiled sadly and sat a little more comfortably. "Sure. Leah was an old high school girlfriend. We were high school sweethearts actually. I thought we were going to get married, but I found out, in the worst way possible, that she had strung me along for the past year simply for popularity. Sure enough, once high school was over she dumped me without a second thought, and it killed me."

"Because you loved her?" I whispered, glancing at my hands. I felt the tears stinging at the back of my eyes. He did understand.

"Because I loved her". He confirmed. "But I let it go, didn't pursue her anymore--"

"Because you wanted her to be happy". I smiled softly up at him and he returned it.

"Exactly. Sometimes it kills to let go Bella, but you have to understand that and realize that there is someone out there that will want to marry you just as much as you want to marry them."

I started to cry at that and nodded. "Yeah". I choked, looking away.

"Oh, Bella I'm so sorry". He leaned forward hesitantly, and I pressed myself into his arms. Realizing it was ok; he wrapped his arms around me and held me gently.

"You're too good for him, Bella". He whispered against my head, but that only made me sob harder. I tried to smother my little whimpers, not wanting to gain attention from the other students.

"No, I'm not." I whispered back, so softly I doubt he heard it.

"Hey". He gently stroked my hair. "Why don't you come out to dinner with the class tonight? A few of us are going. Hmm? It will be good for you come out."

"N-No thanks Jake". I pulled away form him gently. "I really don't think I'm up for going out in a group. I don't need anyone harassing me about it, you know".

"Bella, you need to go out. Even for a little while. Tell you what, come out with me tonight." He lifted my chin gently and I stared at him in confusion.

"But, you just said--"

"Forget the group. Just you and me."

I thought about it, but couldn't consider that sort of thing now. I shook my head slightly; "Jake…"

"Not like that, Bella. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to insinuate. I mean just as friends. I'll tell you what; we'll do the casual of the casual. We'll eat at the golden arches and we'll go to see a movie. There's a really good comedy out, and I want to see you laugh."

I managed a smile through my tears. "You'd go to _maccas_ for dinner?"

"Sure. It's the most casual place to go". He joked and I actually laughed. It felt so good. I didn't even consider refusing after that. A friend like him was just what I needed right now.

"So is that a yes?" He smiled down at me.

I wiped my tears gently and smiled. "Yes. Thank you so much Jake. For caring, I mean".

"Don't thank me, Bella. It's my pleasure. I'll come get you at…say, around seven?"

"Okay".

"Which dorm are you?"

I told him my room and he nodded, writing it down on my hand. He then smiled up at me. "Great. So I'll see you then. And I want a smile, ok?" He lifted my chin playfully and I giggled, swatting his hand away.

"Sure. At seven".

"See you then". He waved at me before heading to the guys' dorm. I figured he'd be staying on campus, considering he was only new. For the first time all day, I smiled at the thought of going to see a movie and beginning my new life over.

I turned back to the computer and opened up my resume that I had saved on my documents, going through it and updating it.

It didn't take long, and I printed out a few copies to give around to the different places. When I was done, I logged off and headed back to the dorm with the papers in my head.  
I read over them, satisfied enough before putting them in sleeves and leaving them on the desk in my room.

"Bells?" I heard the door open and keys jingle.

I made my way out timidly and smiled. "Hi."

"Are you okay?" Alice reached over to hug me. "We ran into Sienna and Cass and they said you seemed really upset and refused to go out tonight".

I wrinkled my nose. "I'm not really up for it, Ally. You know what my class is going to be like. I just don't want to think about it".

"Oh, Bella". Rose wrapped her arm around my shoulders. "It shouldn't matter to you what people think."

I looked down and nodded. "I know. I just--"

"It's hard for her, Rose". Alice pointed out, hugging me close. "Doesn't matter anyway. We will do something, right?"

I ducked my head shyly. "Actually, I um, ran into Jacob Black on my way home".

Rose's mouth fell open. "The new guy in your class?"

Alice's expression mirrored hers. "And?"

"Well um, he knows what happened and he asked if I wanted to go for dinner. Just as friends." I emphasized, knowing they'd get the wrong idea.

Alice squealed. "Oh My God! That's awesome, Bells! Go, you deserve it!"

"He's just a friend, Ally". I pointed out. "Don't get caught up in this non-existent thing between us. It's purely platonic."

"Sure, Bella". Rose smiled. "Friends or not, go out with him if he makes you happy."

I smiled thankfully at her. "Thanks, Rose. He does. He's really great".

Alice smiled wistfully. "Well that's good, Bells. Is he coming here to pick you up or are you meeting him somewhere?"

"He's coming here." I answered shyly.

Alice squealed happily. "Then we get to meet him! I've heard quite a few things about him. How exciting! Come on Bells, let me do your hair at least".

I sighed in defeat, and before I knew it I was being dragged to her bedroom.

After being twirled around on a chair as their Barbie doll for half an hour, Alice finally let me go. I turned to look in the mirror, managing a smile. Alice always outdid herself. I had on a nice knee-high skirt, and a white blouse. I refused to wear heels, so I had a pair of flats. It wasn't an outing to get all dressed up for anyway. My hair hung loosely around my shoulders and I brushed through it once more when the door knocked.

"I'll get it". Alice insisted and headed out.

I reached for my purse, throwing in my phone and heading out. I raked my fingers through my hair nervously as he stepped in.

"Hi, Bella". He smiled at me, eying my outfit for a split moment. "You ready?"

"Y-Yeah, uh, yes." I stuttered, feeling the familiar blush on my cheeks. "Oh, by the way. These are my friends. Alice and Rose." In introduced them. "This is Jake".

"Nice to meet you". Jake smiled at them and shook their hands. "Pleasure".

I turned to Alice quickly. "I'm sorry about dinner…"

"No, no! Bella, don't be silly. It's my turn to cook anyway. Have a nice time". She smiled at Jake and gently pushed me towards him.

"Thanks. I'll make sure I return her with a smile". He winked at me and I blushed. Alice laughed.

"Yes, please do, Jake. We love to see her with a smile".

I smiled appreciatively at my friends and said a quick goodbye, heading over to where Jake was standing. He reached out with a hand to my back to lead me.

"See you guys later".

"Bye".

His hand gently rested on my back as he led me outside the dorms. "So, dinner first?"

I nodded. "Sure. Um, w-what time is the movie?"

"Eight. So we have an hour. Enough for a bite from the golden arches". He teased and I giggled. It felt so good to laugh freely.

"Thanks Jake".

"Sure, Bella".

He opened the door for me as we exited the building and walked over to a black Lexus. I smiled a little. "This your car?"

"Yep". He smiled over at me and opened the door to the passenger's seat. "I earned it after I graduated high school with high marks."

I chuckled. "Congratulations, then".

"Belated but appreciated. Thanks." He laughed as I hopped in. He shut the door behind me and rounded the car to his side and got in. The interior of the car was ridiculously spotless, and even smelt new. I took a deep breath. I loved the smell. He glanced over at me. "Ever driven a car like this?"

"N-No". I stammered. "I uh, I've only ever driven my father's cruiser when I was in high school".

He frowned slightly. "I don't mean to bring it up, but, didn't you ever…I mean didn't _he_ ever let you drive his Volvo?"

I looked down and shook my head, before looking out the window. No one ever knew that Edward never allowed me to drive his car. Even when he was sick, or dizzy, we'd stop for a bit on the side of the road. But me, driving the Volvo? Never. He would never even consider it.

My heart twinged at the memories of us jokingly arguing about it. I'd tease him, asking if the Volvo was more important then me. At one point he had lifted me onto the hood of the car and playfully climbed on top of me, kissing me for a long moment. Needless to say, the argument was quickly forgotten.

I swallowed back the memories and the tears forming because of them and managed a half-hearted smile. "He would have killed me if I had harmed his baby".

"Harmed his baby? What is he? Thirteen?"

I winced. "His fast cars were his toys, Jake. He loved them. Everyone has something."

Jake could see he had hit a nerve, and quickly dropped it. "I guess so. I'm sorry, Bella. I have no right to judge him".

I remained quiet. I really didn't want to talk about him anymore. It surprised me when I thought such things, but it hurt too much when I delved into it. What had happened…had happened. There was nothing either of us could do about it.

"Enough about the past, right?" He smiled, echoing my thoughts. He took my hand in a friendly gesture and squeezed it. "I'm only going to concentrate on one thing tonight, and that is hearing your lovely laugh all night long".

I blushed. "I'll faint, Jake".

He laughed heartedly and parked in front of McDonalds. "Never. I'll be here."

I smiled as he got out and opened my door. I thanked him and we headed inside. I had to laugh at the relaxed atmosphere. It made it seem less of a date and I was grateful for that, because all I wanted from Jake was a simple friendship and I wanted it to continue that way.

"So, what'll it be?" He flipped open his wallet and smiled at me over his shoulder.

I shook my head immediately. "Jake, I'm paying. Please."

"No way, Bella." He refused, as we got closer.

"Jake--"

"Bella, listen. I know it's no big deal, but it's the man's responsibility to pay. It's just being courteous. So allow me to be a man, ok?" He smiled and pulled out some money.

I blushed and nodded. "Thanks, Jake. You really shouldn't, though."

"I want to. So, pick something". He motioned to the menu. Not that he needed to. I mean who looks at the McDonalds menu nowadays?

I wrinkled my nose delicately.

"Can I help you?" The girl at the counter asked.

Jake turned to me. "Bella?"

"U-Um, can I have the small cheeseburger McValue meal?" I asked softly. Jake smiled widely at me.

"Atta'girl".

I blushed and bit my lip. Jake turned back to the girl and made his request for a large chicken McValue meal. They were pretty quick; luckily we didn't have to wait long. I had to admit, I was quite hungry. While they placed it on a tray for us, Jake reached over to get the napkins and I realized how much taller he was. He slouched a little, but when he stood straight he would have to have been close to 6'foot 5. Over ten inches taller then me. Edward was six foot one, and I had felt ridiculously tiny next to him. But for some reason, Jake's figure wasn't as intimidating. Maybe because he was my age, and he was like a gentle giant. With him, it didn't make a difference. It did feel nice to be under his much-taller protective figure, though.

He took the tray and thanked the girl, leading us to a table. I followed him and placed my bag down, taking the seat opposite him. He divided our meal and sat down.

"So, enjoy!" He lifted his plastic cup jokingly.

I giggled and tapped mine with his. "Thank you so much, Jake."

"No worries".

We unwrapped our meals and began to eat, chatting about whatever we brought up. Jake seemed to be very interested in what I said, which I wasn't used to. I was naturally very shy, but Jake made me feel very comfortable.

"You want a job?" Jake raised his eyebrows when I told him. "Bella, I know where you could apply. That is, if you're into hospitality."

"Oh I am!" I insisted. "Any job would be great."

He seemed thoughtful. "Well, I certainly wouldn't recommend just any old job to you, but my friend Sam Uley owns a diner just a block away. I know he needs a waitress, if you're interested, I'll talk to him for you."

"Oh, Jake. Would you?"

"Sure!" He insisted, as if it was no problem. "I'll speak to him tomorrow. That is, if you'd like me to. If that doesn't interest you…"

"No, that'd be so great, Jake. You have no idea".

"It's a great place, Bella. Sam is really great, you'll like him. My friends and I are always there, so you'll know all of us. And it's a great, relaxing atmosphere."

I smiled at the sound of it. "That'd be wonderful".

"Great. So it's all settled. After I'm done talking to Sam I'm sure he'll hire you with no qualms". He winked and I blushed slightly.

"Wow, thank you _so much_, Jake. I really do appreciate it."

"Sure." He smiled warmly at me as I took another bite.

I couldn't believe how lucky I was. Jake had really helped me, and I was more grateful to him then he'd ever know. We talked for a long time, about our families and our childhood. Of course, I didn't really know what to say, as most of my childhood/teenage years had been with Edward. Jake sensed my hesitation to talk about him, and steered away. I really appreciated that, though I didn't tell him so.

Jake glanced at his watch. "Hey, we'd better go. It's ten to eight." He emptied the tray for me, and we headed out. "You're going to like this movie. It's getting great reviews".

"Cool". I smiled hopefully. I hadn't really noticed what was out, so I was taking his word for it. We made it there with five minutes to spare, and I excused myself to go to the bathroom for a quick moment. I told him to wait for me as I bolted in.

When I came out, he was standing there with two tickets in his hand. I realized what he had done, and gave him a look.

"Jake!"

"Don't kill me!" He laughed, his hands up. "I wanted to do it, Bella".

"But Jake, dinner and my movie ticket? You're going to university too, you know what our money is worth. I don't want you throwing your money away on me".

"Hey." He stepped closer and lifted my chin. "I'm not throwing it away. I'm spending it on you because you're repaying me with your company. You are worth it, Bella. Alright?"

I blushed. "Are you sure?"

"Yes. Very sure". He placed a hand on my back. "So don't give yourself a headache over it. Just enjoy this with me".

I smiled at that. "Thank you, Jake. For the millionth thing".

He laughed. "How about we make it a million and one. Want popcorn?"

"No!" I laughed and swatted him with my bag. "Don't you dare!"

He laughed and ran inside playfully, away from me. I couldn't help but giggle at his expression, and ran after him. It was amazing how youthful I felt again, able to let go and laugh like my old seventeen-year-old self at a time before college, and the possibility of marriage. Before the things that changed my life so drastically. Sometimes I forget that I am only nineteen, and still young with my whole life ahead of me. Jake made sure to remind me of that.

We giggled and playfully argued our way to the theatre, handing in our tickets and sitting down. I was reaching for my seat when an overwhelming flashback overcame me. It was Edward and I, at the cinemas when we first started dating.

We had been laughing about how good the movie was, about to walk out when we noticed it was raining hard. Typical of any place that surrounded Forks.

"_We'll make a run for it". He smiled against my cheek and held my hand tighter, our fingers intertwining._

"_No!" I squealed, feeling him lift me up in his arms. He pressed his lips to mine in a breathtaking kiss, holding me tightly against his body. He kissed me, and I felt the rain drench our bodies through our clothes. Only it did nothing to irritate us, only desire more closeness. Our kiss intensified with the rain, and I ran my hand through his drenched hair. He did the same to mine, caressing my wet cheek, and I was lost in his embrace. _

"Bella?" Jacob waved his hand in front of my face.

I snapped back to reality and shook my head. "S-Sorry, Jake. I was just--Um, yeah. Sorry. I zoned out".

He chuckled. "It's ok. Thought you might have gone brain dead on me and I panicked. I mean no! Not before the new Johnny Depp movie preview!" He exclaimed dramatically.

I stuck my tongue out a little. "Mature, Jake. You're just jealous".

He laughed. "Who's the mature one now?"

I blushed and settled comfortably in my seat. I did anything to try and take my mind off that flashback with Edward, even tried staring at Jake out of the corner of my eyes. Even analysing his handsome features, my body ached for Edward's touch again. I gripped my arms so hard it was painful.

_Stop it, Bella._

I felt Jacob's hand on mine, forcing my fingers to allow my arm circulation. "It was about him, wasn't it?" He whispered softly, with an understanding tone.

I gripped harder, trying to numb the pain in my heart, and he stroked my fingers.

"Come on, Bella. Let go. Relax. Hurting yourself isn't going to help". He pried my fingers loose and held my hand in his, lifting it to his lips. I would have blushed had I not been overwhelmed with everything Edward. I willed myself not to cry, but the tears were there in an instant. Jake leaned closer to me.

"It's ok, Bella. It's okay to cry." He soothed, and I leaned my head on his chest, angrily allowing the tears to stream down my cheeks. I would never get over this, and my body continually kept producing the tears that would never stop for him. I was angry because I wanted to be stronger then this, especially in front of Jake.

He held me close during the movie, and it felt nice. I didn't move away from him, and he seemed comfortable enough. Feeling the vibration of his laughter through his chest made me laugh, even though I was barely in tune with what was happening in the movie.

Edward was soon forgotten, even for five minutes. And I was eternally grateful for Jake, because any few moments without Edward occupying my mind was a rare thing.

"Good movie, huh?" Jake asked me on the way out, throwing the tickets in the bin as we passed.

I smiled. "Yeah, it was quite good".

He rubbed my back gently as we headed out to the car park. "Feeling better?"

I managed a genuine smile at him. "I do, Jake. I truly do. Thank you".

"Sure". He opened his car door and I slid in. We headed off and it wasn't until we were outside the dorms that I realized it was just after eleven. No wonder I was exhausted. I fought back a yawn as Jake pulled the clutch up and switched off the car.

He got out and opened the door for me, locking the car and leading me inside. He had to steady me at one point, and I blushed.

"Sorry, I'm really clumsy".

He chuckled and led me to my dorm. I turned to him and quickly wrapped my arms around his neck. "Thanks again, Jake. It really helped a great deal. I appreciate it."

He quickly retaliated and wrapped his arms around my waist to hold me. "Anytime, Bella. I had fun. We should do it again, you know. Friends and all". I could hear the smile in his voice.

"Yeah, definitely." I pulled away and nodded, reaching for my keys.

He smiled and leaned forward to kiss my forehead. "Goodnight, Bella".

My heart stuttered and I froze. He didn't seem to notice and headed off, leaving me alone. I quickly unlocked the door, my hands shaking.

"R-Rose? A-A-Alice?" I stuttered and shut the door behind me. I took in a few deep breaths, and they calmed me down. I sighed and leaned against the door.

"Bella!" Alice came running from her bedroom in her pyjamas and slippers. I felt the urge to laugh. Alice would always be Alice.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah". I smiled. "It was…good."

"Did he try anything?" Alice almost squealed.

I glared at her. "No, Alice no! He's a friend. You should know me better then that. I'll never be able to forget Edward."

"Jake is hot, Bells". Rose came out, much calmer, and raised her eyebrows at me. "I wouldn't cut him off completely. Sometimes being with someone else can help. And who knows?"

"Yeah! You and Jake might be perfect for each other". Alice pointed out.

I squirmed at the thought of Jake replacing Edward in all my visions. Jake kissing me, touching me, asking me to dance with him, being with him…

It wasn't _possible._

"I c-can't…talk about this". I shook my head. "I'm going to bed. Goodnight."

I headed past them without a second thought, closing my door softly and climbing into bed. All I wanted to do was send this feeling of numbing pain away, out of my heart, for as long as I could. Sleep was the only way, because my prince charming would _never_ come back for me. I curled into a ball, holding myself and desperately trying to fight the tears that came every night, without delay.

* * *

**Review?**


	9. Making Me Feel Alive Again

**Thanks for the reviews guys!! I'm glad you're enjoying it! =)**

* * *

**Edward.**

"I can't believe we are doing this". I joked; watching James and Laurent muck around in my apartment, as we all got ready for the party Tanya invited us to.

James fumbled with his shirt. "Shut the fuck up. We're doing this for you."

"Bullshit!" I laughed. "You're doing this 'cause you've been fucking Jessica and this is easier then going to her house."

Laurent chuckled. "That good in bed, huh James?"

"Fuck off, assholes. At least I'm getting some". He pointed out, reaching for his jacket. "When was the last time either of you got laid? Oh wait, Edward hasn't been laid for _six _years. I forgot". He joked, and I rolled my eyes.

"_Don't_…go there."

"I should just nickname you Jack off".

"Fuck off". I shook my head and glanced at the mirror.

"Oh I will be. Later". He grinned at his reflection. "Man, I am one handsome motherfucker. Lets go, you bunch of girls".

Laurent groaned and grabbed his wallet from the sofa. "Lets get this over and done with".

I grabbed my keys. "Lets go".

We locked up, and headed out. I was looking forward to going out; I hadn't been out all week due to a few exams. I hadn't seen Tanya either, and it was driving me crazy.

I hadn't even seen my family, which I felt bad about. Just seeing the family though, made me think of Bella. She was another one I, surprisingly, _hadn't_ seen around university. I thought that would have been inevitable.

It was probably for the best. I'd always hate myself for what I did to her, and it's for the best that we're moving on with our own lives, and not seeing each other.

We headed into Laurent's car, because he would be the sober designated driver this time. I told him the directions Tanya gave me, and we soon found it. Well, it would be hard not to with all the music blaring and the kids surrounding it. My foot was shaking in anticipation, probably for seeing Tanya and finally being able to be and act single again.

I didn't care who, but I was hooking up with some girl tonight. James was right; being a bachelor couldn't be better.

We parked a street away, and headed down. Playing techno, you couldn't miss the huge house. We headed in, and saw university students everywhere. I recognized a few.

"James!" One guy through a football to him and waved. James caught it and raised his eyebrows.

"Hey, man."

"Hi, James". A blonde came up to him, twirling her hair around her finger. He smiled and moved his fingers under her chin.

"Hey, Lauren".

I envied him so bad at that moment. But it didn't last long. We headed to the bar, and ordered a drink. Sure enough I felt a tap on my shoulder.

I turned around to see Tanya; in the hottest outfit I had ever seen her wear. My breath caught in my throat, and I gaped at her. She smiled at me.

"Hi, Edward. Glad _you _came".

"S-Sure." I choked, managing a smile. "I said I would, right?"

"Right". She smiled and glanced at the bar. I quickly jumped in. "Would you like a drink?"

"Love one". She winked at me. "Whatever you're having".

I turned to the guy at the bar and ordered two shots. I was all for downing them tonight. I handed one to Tanya, who brushed her fingers with mine.

"Thank you". She smiled and clinked her glass against mine. "To being single."

I smiled. "I'll drink to that". I downed my drink quickly, causing a burning sensation in my throat. It couldn't have been better though. She did the same, and I stared at her in amazement. "Did you just down that?"

"I've been starting long before you have, babe". She teased and _fuck_ me, I wanted her.

They played some ridiculous bump and grind hip-hop, and Tanya grinned at me. "Dance?"

I wasn't about to pass up that offer. Especially since I was dying to find reason to touch her, and two because I intended on doing things I normally didn't do. I downed another shot and nodded.

"Sure". She took my hand and led me out, in the crowd. I spotted Jessica and James making out, and smirked. She was too stupid not to realize James didn't want her, but her entirely way too fuckable body. Which of course meant it wouldn't last more then a month before James got sick of her and moved onto some other girl. Lucky bastard for having his pick and choose.

Tanya moved her body into mine, and I moved my legs slightly apart, feeling her brush up against the bulge already forming in my pants. I moved my mouth to her cheek, brushing my lips against her skin as I breathed huskily into her ear. I could have sworn I heard her moan softly, bringing her hand to my thighs as she twirled around. She smiled up at me, and that's when I felt her hands move slowly but surely to the bulge in my jeans. I bit back a groan when she palmed me, her lips trailing lightly over my neck.

"Fuck, Tanya". I breathed against her hair, holding her body to mine.

"If you insist". She grinned, taking me by the hand and pulling me towards the stairs. I didn't even know where we were going, and my vision was slightly impaired. She pushed me against the stairwell, undoing the top buttons on my shirt so she could kiss the skin that was now revealed.

"Mmm". She moaned against my chest, grinding her hips lightly into mine. Fuck, I needed her. I wanted her. _Badly._

As she continued to kiss my chest, I bent down and pressed my lips to her neck. She moved back a little to grant me access, and I wrapped my other arm around her waist and brought her closer.

"Kiss me". She groaned against my ear, and I pulled back enough to bring her lips to mine. My God. For all the times I had thought about this, imagined this, and now it was happening. Her lips melted on mine like butter, and her mouth immediately opened against mine, allowing me to kiss her the way I always had wanted to. Our tongues met and fought for dominance, while my hands skimmed all over her body, quickly covering her breasts before heading down to her thighs. I pulled them apart, allowing my crotch to grind freely against her.

"Ugh. You're so…perfect". I moaned as she began to stroke me through my jeans. I could clearly see down her top now, and she had left nothing to the imagination.

"Holy f--"

"Upstairs". She hissed, moving her hand away and leading me up to one of the rooms. I stumbled up the stairs with her, letting her choose whatever room. I just wanted to see her body under mine.

She shoved a door open, and it was empty, thank fuck. I shoved her against the wall, kicking the door closed behind me. She was perfect. Perfect kisser, perfect body…God. What she was doing to me. I ripped off her skirt, not meaning to destroy it but we were past the stage of worrying. She turned around and nudged me forward until the back of my knees found the bed. Oh, yeah. I lifted her up and placed her on the bed, and she pulled me roughly down with her. I practically fell on her, my mouth never detached from hers.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I couldn't think of anything else. Her hand went to my jeans, and undid the belt and zipper. I leaned up to help her, but she moved my hand away and began to slide them down herself. She turned around so I was lying on the bed, while she straddled me. She gave me a lazy grin and began to pull my jeans down lower and lower. I closed my eyes slightly when I felt her reach for my boxers and pull them down as well. I quickly lifted my shirt and threw it to the side, not wanting to have anything between us.

I couldn't have imagined anything better.

Pretty soon I had ripped off her clothes, staring in awe at her true womanly body. She was all curves and breasts, and I couldn't keep my hands off them. I was soon inside of her, and we'd both moaned pleasurably at the contact. I couldn't describe how fucking amazing it was.

I didn't want to move. I hadn't had this in so long and it was making me realize how much I missed it.

I came with a loud moan, only moments before she did. We stared at each other for a few moments, before resting on our backs, breathing heavily.

"Wow". She grinned and I agreed. I was breathing heavily.

"You…were amazing". I breathed and she giggled against my chest. "So were you. I can't believe your fiancé didn't take advantage of that. Typical of a little virgin."

I winced at the thought of Bella. I didn't like when people brought her up. I was glad we made the right decision, but that didn't give my friends the right to insult her.

I cleared my throat. "Yeah, anyway…I uh, better get up." I sat up in the bed and reached for my pants. Tanya wrapped her arms around me, breathing hotly on my neck. She kissed my bare shoulder and leaned her head against mine.

"We should do it again sometime". She kissed my shoulder again. "I like you, Edward. A lot."

I rested my jeans on my thighs before turning to her, lifting her chin and kissing her lightly. It felt nice. And in all honesty, I could relate to her.

"I like you too". I murmured.

_But I adore your body._ I thought, as I nuzzled her neck. She sat up in all her glory, and I couldn't help but think how fucking sexy she was. My lower region rose to attention at the thought, and she smirked, reaching over and removing my jeans from my thighs, throwing them to the side.

"I don't think we're done".

"Guess not". I smiled teasingly and she giggled, bringing us back down. I crawled on top of her and we started again.

***

I watched Tanya sleep for a bit, before glancing at my watch. It was early morning; I knew we had to leave. I didn't want to, but I gently nudged her.

"Hey…"

"Mmm. Edward?" She curled up against me, and I wasn't sure what to do.

"Uh, yeah. Tanya. I have to leave". I settled my hand on her bare shoulder. "I'll talk to you later, alright?"

"Want my number?" She got up, bringing the sheet with her.

"Oh yeah. Right". I shook my head slightly. I pulled out my phone from my jean pocket and she recited it to me. I closed my phone and leaned forward to kiss her.

She curled her body against me, but I knew I had to leave. I had to use the last of my restraint to pull away from her again and get dressed. She just watched me with a sexy, seductive smile.

"So I'll see you soon?"

I grinned. "You bet. You all set with getting home?"

"Oh yeah. Don't worry. We have a designated driver". She insisted, waving her hand dismissively.

I nodded and pulled my shirt over my head. "See you later."

"Sooner rather then later". She teased and blew me a kiss. I smirked and winked at her, closing the door and heading out.

I headed downstairs and found Laurent hooking up with a petite brunette on the couch. I tapped his shoulder. He pulled away to glance at me.

"Oh, Edward. Where were you?"

"Uh, upstairs". I ran my fingers through my hair lightly. "Where's James?"

"Ready to go. He was looking for you…somewhere". He looked around and shrugged his shoulders. The brunette dismissed him at the lack of attention and walked off. Laurent smirked.

"She was an interesting one".

I chuckled. "Sure seemed that way. Come on, we better head off".

"Chill man". I helped him up and we found James doing more shots. I sighed and pulled him up by his elbow while his friends jeered at him. He was laughing stupidly.

"Come on man, you're wasted". I helped him up and he followed me. "Fine, fuck. I'm fine".

Laurent helped me and we got him out and down to the car. He threw up before we got in, and Laurent looked relieved he didn't do it in his car. I felt a little sick myself, but I hadn't really had a lot. I had done what I set out to do, I was satisfied. I reached into my pocket for my phone and squeezed it, smiling slightly.

_Yeah, I sure did._

I was in a daze as we headed home. I couldn't feel anything but numbness from the alcohol, and my joints were aching. Great.

_I'm probably getting sick._

I pulled out my phone and browsed through to Tanya's number, staring at it. James was having a drunken conversation with us about bullshit, and Laurent was laughing. I was too tired to amuse him.

Should I send her a message? Or would that look desperate? I sighed and figured I would. Why not? If she enjoyed our time together as much as I did there was nothing wrong with acknowledging that.

_Hey, gorgeous. Had a good time. ;)_

_Edward._

I quickly shut my phone and placed it in my pocket, somewhat excited and somewhat dreading her answer. She probably wasn't in to me as much as I was into her.

"Eddwaarddddie. My maaaaan." James slurred, turning his pointless conversation to me. "Fucked Tanyyya, hey? Smooth son of a bitch".

I smirked. "You better believe it".

Laurent glanced over at me. "Next time you're the sober driver, shithead. Just cause you broke up with that little girl doesn't mean you get any special privileges."

I pressed my lips together for a moment. "It's _Bella_".

"Huh?"

"Her name is Bella". I repeated. "You don't need to make the wise cracks, alright? And I _didn't_ break up with her".

"Oh, sorry". He waved his arms sarcastically. "You broke her heart but it was mutual, right?"

I bit back a growl. I didn't like talking about it and they knew that. From the time they met Bella, James and Laurent had always referred to her as a little girl compared to how the girls looked at college. Bella was very small, petite and delicate, and they used to laugh and say;

_"She looks like she's in junior high. Edward, you pedophile!"_

I never saw that, but I used to laugh it off at first. After a while though, it got irritating. And now especially.

James laughed. "Oh, we've hit a nervvve! Eddie boy, tell us again how she wouldn't fuck you. Tell us how she'd leave you hard and desperate. Edward dated a_ nun_!" He laughed heartedly. "No, he dated the virgin incarnate with the small tits! Come on, Tell ussssssss how--"

"Shut. The. Fuck. Up." I turned around and growled at him. "_Enough_, alright?"

My hand was itching to hit him, but I didn't. I couldn't help it. Bella had always been a big part of my life, and I didn't want to hear anyone insult her. My opinion of her hadn't changed and never would. I would always have a great amount of respect for her being unlike other college girls that spread their legs for every guy that comes across.

"Awww Eddie. I was kiddddddin. She's gonna findd the right guy out there, who's gonna love her small boobs and non-existent ass. Then you can drag Tanyaaa and her double D's to the wedding and you can have a big orgy!" He laughed and my fist clenched tightly.

Laurent glanced at me. "Calm down, Edward".

_Yeah, like that'll help. _

I ignored him. "I am about five seconds away from throwing you out of this _fucking_ car, James. You got me? **_Shut the fuck up!_**"

He did after that. I was grateful for that and Laurent drove to my apartment in silence. I thanked him when he dropped me off, not bothering to say anything to James.

"See you in class, man".

I nodded and closed the door, heading upstairs and fumbling with the keys. I cursed under my breath until I found the right key, and opened the door. I can't remember much after that. I stumbled in, tossed my keys to the side and headed straight for the bedroom. Between the alcohol and the sheer exhaustion of university all week, I fell asleep only moments after my head hit the pillow.

***

**Bella. **

"Hey, Bells!"

I turned around and smiled. Jake was almost always there after I was finished with my lecture. He had been such a good friend over this past fortnight, I had seen him every day since we had gone to maccas together and he had truly helped me to open up and be myself again in such a short time. I was truly privileged to have him in my life.

"Hi, Jake".

Sienna and Cass grinned and greeted him. They really liked Jake, as Rose and Alice did. It was nice that we all got along.

"Well, we'll see you later Bells". Sienna nudged Cass and they headed off.

"See you tomorrow". I managed a smile and waved, before turning back to Jake. He smiled at me and reached for my books as he always had.

"How is my best friend?"

"Tired". I admitted with a small laugh and leaned my head on his shoulder tiredly. He wrapped an arm lightly around my waist.

"Where do you want to go for lunch? You've got work tonight, don't you?"

Jake had spoken to Sam, his friend who owned the diner a bit further down the road. It was an amazing place, very relaxed and open. Sam was very happy to meet me, and after a quick interview, he told me he'd love to have me working for him.

"_As a good friend of Jake, I've got no problems. Welcome, Bella". _

_  
I shook his hand. "Thank you so much."_

_  
With that I ran outside, happier then I had ever been. "JAKE! I GOT IT!" I squealed when I saw him, and jumped straight into his wide-open arms. He laughed and twirled me around._

"_I know!"_

"_How did you know?" I asked playfully. "Were you eavesdropping?"_

"_Nope. I just knew. Because there's no reason why he wouldn't want to hire you. Especially after all the things I told him." He winked, and I laughed heartedly. _

"_Oh, Jake, Thank you so much!" I hugged him again and he lifted me from the ground, pressing his lips to my head._

"_Sure, sure. Anytime."_

I smiled softly at the memory and looked back to Jacob. "Yeah, I do. You don't have to do this, Jake. I feel bad. I mean, we go out every day. What about time with your friends?"

"Hey." He lifted my chin. "_You're_ my friend and you need me, right?"

I hated admitting that, but it was completely true. The first few days after he had taken me out I had cried on his shoulder, still unable to banish thoughts about…him. They still hovered there, but Jake had a way of making me forget when I was with him. Since then, I had craved his presence in my life and his visits had become more of an occurrence day after day. He was beyond incredible and part of me, a big part, had developed an unbreakable attachment to him. One that I don't think anyone, or anything, could change.

"Yes". I whispered, moving closer to him to feel his overprotective stance over me. He brought me closer, and I felt his lips against my head. I blushed as he whispered;

"I care about you a great deal, Bella. I'll never leave you."

"Thank you". I said softly, sincerely. I genuinely meant it. Though if he ever left me, I don't know how I'd cope. I needed him like the earth needed the sun. Without him I would fall back into my depressive state, and I couldn't handle that. I couldn't remember.

Then of course, it had to happen. Jake drove us to the local diner outside of the university and we headed in. Jake joked about the waiters in this place and I laughed, glancing to the right as we waited to be served. That's when I saw him. Or should I say…_them._

I hadn't seen Edward since our almost wedding, and I was so glad about that. I asked Rose and Alice not to mention him, and it helped a great deal. Now, here he was in all his perfection, with a girl next to him, just as beautiful. She was someone that was in his league. Something I _never _was. They were sitting on the booth, laughing and talking. He wrapped his arm around her and moved closer, and at the same time she snuggled close to him. My heart was ripped into shreds, and I couldn't move. The feelings overwhelmed me again, and I almost collapsed. My hand went to my chest in desperation to soothe my heart, and I couldn't breathe. It hurt too much.

"Bella?" Jake nudged me, but I couldn't move. He must have noticed then, because his comforting stare on me turned to one of fury to them.

"You've got to be _damn well_ kidding me…"

"J-Jake". I blinked furiously, and that's when I realized my eyes were wet with unshed tears.

He quickly wrapped his hands around me to steady me. I felt like I was going to faint.

"Come on, we'll leave". He said gently, but I could hear the anger in his voice that he couldn't hide. I nodded, thankful they hadn't seen us. I couldn't tear my face away, until Jake drew me to his chest and led me out, bringing my head to his chest so my view of them would be blocked.

"Don't look at them, Bella."

I knew he was right; it would only make it harder. I closed my eyes and inhaled the scent on his shirt, clinging to the comforting aura that surrounded him. The same I depended so desperately on.

Jake led me out quickly, and I felt horrible. This was his favorite diner, and I had to spoil it because I was _weak._

"J-Jake.." I couldn't control the tears. "I-I'm s-so s-s-sorry…"

"Bella." He stopped and turned around now that we were outside. "You can't keep doing this to yourself. It's_ not_ your fault this happened, it's his. Hewas the idiot who _let you go_." He held my cheek and looked into my eyes with such intensity. "I know it will hurt to see him with someone else, but you have to understand this, because it's true. It doesn't matter whether he finds another girl or not, they will _never _match up to you. I feel sorry for her. But you…well, I can't even explain how lucky I am to have you".

I couldn't say anything, so he kissed my forehead and took my hand again.

"God," I shook my head slightly as he led me by the hand to his car. "I really don't deserve you, Jake".

"Hah. Sorry, I'm not buying that." He joked, drawing me to him for a hug. I stood on my toes and wrapped my arms around his neck tightly. He didn't seem to mind though and embraced me just as tightly, pressing me to his warm, comforting body. Being in his arms like this, I knew one thing for certain. I craved it_ more_ then anything. His personality, his smile, his warm touch. I had become much to attached, yet I couldn't bring myself to do anything about it now.

He chuckled and had to break my hold gently. "You're clinging onto me like you're worried I'll disappear or something."

"I am". I admitted timidly, and he held me and against his chest. "I need you, Jake."

He was silent for a moment, and I glanced up at him, worried I'd frightened him or worried him. He didn't seem either. He seemed to want to tell me something, but was struggling with it. His eyes didn't leave mine, and I couldn't look away. He leaned forward slightly, and pressed his forehead to mine. My lips pursed gently, and my eyes closed from the familiarity of it.

"…You need me to just…be your _friend_, right?" He said in a strangely soft tone.

"Of course as my friend, Jake". I opened my eyes to meet his. "You're my best friend."

He half smiled and nodded, looking away. It seemed forced, but he hid it well. "Sure. Come on. We'll go somewhere else for lunch." He opened the car door for me, and I headed in, a little perplexed what his reaction. Something inside me told me not to pursue it, so I didn't. Jake had never hidden anything from me, so I knew if it was something he wanted me to know, he'd tell me eventually.

* * *

**So, what do we think?**

**Reviews? **

**For those who want to see Bella/Jake + Edward/Tanya confrontation, don't worry, there's a lot coming.**


	10. Innocent Curiousity?

**Thanks guys! Love the reviews! In this chapter things start to change. =) **

**PS. GOMD chapter will be up tomorrow. **

**Love you all! xx  
**

* * *

**Edward.**

I trudged up the stairs to my apartment, absolutely exhausted. I let myself in and threw my books on the sofa, sighing at the mess. I hadn't had a chance to tidy up, being so busy with university work and social events. Damn James and Laurent for being so good at persuading me.

I picked up a few chip wrappers and the beer bottle on the side of the couch, bringing it into the kitchen and throwing it in the trash. Being in the kitchen didn't make me feel much better. I had the dishes stacked, even though I had a dishwasher. I groaned and figured I might as well do this now.

These last few weeks had been crazy, but I hadn't complained too much. I had been seeing Tanya a lot more often, and it was good. I'd slept over her place a few times already, and we'd end up having sex whenever we were together. I couldn't get enough of her, she was too damn irresistible.

I was reluctant to invite her over here though, due to this mess.

I headed to the bedroom and pulled off my shirt, lifting it to my nose. Ok, that was another thing I needed to do. I glanced at the dirty laundry.

_Washing. Fuck. Kill me now._

I changed into a clean t-shirt and black pants, heading back into the kitchen to clean. Lately I had been quite the unhealthy eater, not bothering to cook. But I knew I had to stop. I was going to have to risk cooking and hopefully get better at it.

Observing these new changes often made me think of Bella, at night when I was alone in my double bed. I found it so _strange_ I hadn't seen her around university, and the thought worried me a little. I hoped she was alright. Naturally I couldn't ring her up and see, hell, I couldn't do anything about it now. Alice would never let me, considering she wasn't even talking to me either.

I sighed and glanced at my hands. It had become routine now to leave the TV on at night or in the morning while eating breakfast. I wasn't used to the sudden silence that now occupied my apartment.

I quickly pushed away all these thoughts and put all the dishes in the washer, closing it and tiding up the table. I turned on the tap and cursed when it spurted me lightly. I _definitely_ wasn't used to this.

I opened the fridge, and figured I'd do a barbeque on the griller mom brought up here for us. _Me._

I pulled out the steak from the freezer and potatoes with the frozen vegetables. Bella had bought all these, so I guess I should keep the packets so I remember what I have to get when I run out.

I had started grilling, leaving the lid closed while I headed to the bedroom to start the washing. How hard could it be, to put clothes in a washing machine? I gathered up a heap of dirty shirts, and picked up a pair of jeans I've had on the floor for like the past two weeks. Remembering what mom told me, I reached my hand into the pockets to check for anything.

My hand touched something in the pocket of my jeans, and I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. It felt like a box. I pulled it out.

It was a box, alright. I opened it up to reveal what _used_ to be Bella's engagement ring and the two wedding rings we bought. I forgot Alice had given them to me.

_Thrown them at me is more likely._

I couldn't tear my gaze away from the sparkle in the diamonds on her engagement ring. Absent mindedly, I reached forward to stroke them. So delicate, and pretty. Just like Bella was.

I gently pulled it out of the box, palming it. It was so_ tiny_. I had forgotten how small Bella's fingers were when I had slid the ring on her finger for the first time.

"_What about that one?" I pointed to a simplistic, beautiful diamond ring. It had a swirled, delicate design. Delicate, just like my Bella._

_I smiled at her, satisfied at watching her eyes light up. _

"_It's beautiful, Edward"._

_I headed behind her so she could get a good look at it, wrapping my arms around her waist and pressing my lips to her neck. She giggled and leaned against me. _

"_Do you like it?" I asked softly._

"_Maybe I should try it on". She whispered thoughtfully, and I nodded immediately. The saleswoman turned to us, and I pointed to the ring._

"_Can she try it on?"  
_

"_Certainly". She unlocked the cabinet, pulling out the ring and gently placing it in Bella's hand. I smiled at Bella's expression, the sweet yet innocent smile on her lips that I loved. I reached forward and took it off her, holding her tiny hand in mine and sliding the ring on. She blushed, I could see it._

_It sat perfectly, glistening due to the reflection of the sun through the window. It looked like it belonged to her, and I loved it._

_I could see she thought so too._

"_It's lovely". Bella murmured. "But so very expensive…"_

"_Bella, I want to get you more expensive things but you won't let me. Please? I love this one on you, and I know you do too". I pleaded, kissing the side of her head. She genuinely disliked me spending money on her, no matter how many times I told her my money was hers anyway._

_She blushed at that, and nodded. "I do love it"._

_I grinned and she smiled back at me with so much love. Our decision was made._

"_We'll take it"._

**Knock Knock.**

I snapped out of my reverie, fumbling with the box before placing the ring back inside and shutting it. I quickly placed it in the top drawer next to my bed and shut it, straightening my shirt and heading out.

I jogged to the door and opened it, surprised to see Emmett and Jasper there.

"Hey!" I smiled and opened the door wide. "What are you guys doing here?"

"Hey man. Thought we'd come visit you." Emmett shrugged and shoved a few DVDs at me. "Jazz and I didn't have much else to do".

I chuckled and closed the door behind them. "Good timing. This is like my first night doing nothing in days".

Jasper glanced around and smirked. "I can see you're really working with the whole cleaning thing, man."

I shrugged sheepishly. "I haven't got a lot of time, you know. Come on, it's not that bad".

Emmett sniffed and his brow furrowed. "Do you smell something burning? Are you cooking?"

I froze. "Fuck!" I ran past them into the kitchen and saw the smoke rising from the griller. "Fuck, Fuck!" I cursed as I opened it and saw the steak was burnt to a crisp. Emmett and Jasper ran in behind me, saw the burnt steak and no doubt my expression, and burst into laughter.

"Oh, that's priceless!" Emmett roared with laughter. "You should _see_ your face!"

Jasper chuckled. "Bad luck, Edward. Not everyone's made for cooking".

I sighed and grabbed the steak with a pair of tongs, throwing it in the bin. I closed the griller, not before eying the burnt marks on it. Fucking great. Now I'd have to clean that shit up, too.

Emmett's laughter continued, and annoyed, I turned to him. "Are you fucking done? Get out of my apartment if you are."

He laughed at the threat, knowing I was just pissed. He stretched his arm around mine. "Don't worry, man. I was going to suggest Chinese anyway. It will go well with the movies we picked".

"Uh…yeah, sure". I shrugged. "You gonna go down or?"

"Nah. I'll ring. They deliver. Where's your phone?"

I pointed to the cordless one, and he grabbed it and headed into the other room. Jasper just watched me as I proceeded to clean up some of the mess. He leaned against the cabinet.

"So how's your degree going?"

"Good." I nodded, opening the dishwasher. "My results were much better this time around. Yours?"

"Good". He crossed his arms. "Been out much?"

I shrugged and put some of the plates away. "Here and there. Occasionally. Why?" I didn't really want to tell him about Tanya. I wasn't really sure how him or Emmett would react to that.

He ran his fingers through his hair. "Just curious. Em said he thought he saw you out on Saturday night".

I stiffened. "Uh, yeah. I did, but not for long. So, what did you guys get up to today?" I quickly changed the subject, hoping he wouldn't persevere. I reached into the dishwasher and pulled out a whole heap of utensils.

"Went to see the girls and spent the day with them." Jasper replied.

I glanced up at him, nearly dropping the utensils. I had to grip them all quickly. He bit back a laugh. "You ok, man?"

"Yeah, I, yeah. I'm…not myself" I shook my head slightly. He was with the girls? That means he would have seen Bella. Or he'd at least know if she's ok. It was like as if she had fallen off the face of the earth. I was itching to ask, but I was too much of a coward to come out and say her name.

"How are they?" I finally settled for.

He smiled. "Great. Alice is great, working hard as ever. That's my girl. You should know, haven't you talked to her?"

"Not…really". I mumbled.

He nodded slowly. "Oh. Well yeah, she's fine. And Rose is great, too. She and Emmett are planning on going camping together next holidays".

I nodded, still waiting. "Cool".

Silence. I quickly put away the utensils. Nothing. I cleared my throat. Nothing bout the faint sound of Emmett's voice in the next room.

Great. He wasn't going to say. I was going to have to ask him. I felt stupid, like I was still at junior high. Bella was _Bella_! She had been a huge part of my life, and he knew that. Even before we were together. So what's the harm and/or embarrassment of asking how she was?

"And uh, h-how's Bella?" I asked softly.

He turned to look at me, and I couldn't read his expression. He shrugged. "I didn't talk to her, I don't think she was home. But she's doing great, apparently. Alice said she's made a lot of friends and they've been taking her out a lot. Plus, she's got a job at a diner, so--"

"A job at _which_ diner?" I cut in, curious. If it was around here, I had more then likely been there in the last few weeks, yet I'm quite sure I hadn't seen her. "Why would she get a job?"

He chuckled. "I don't know, Edward. Geez, do I look like Bella to you?"

"Sorry, uh. Sorry". I shook my head. I sounded a bit too interested, then. "I was just…wondering."

He smirked. "Sure".

I didn't bother to reply, turning back to the dishes. I sighed and closed my eyes, running my fingers through my hair.

Jasper was watching me carefully when I opened my eyes. He raised his eyebrows, accusation forming in his eyes.

"Wait, you're not…" He let out a laugh; "…I mean…you don't _miss_ her, do you?"

"No! _God_ no, it's not that." I quickly waved my arms, forcing a light chuckle from my throat to lighten the mood. "I was just wondering."

"Hmm. Sure". He nodded, smirking.

"So they'll be here in fifteen". Emmett came into the kitchen, placing the phone down. I glanced down and nodded, closing the dishwasher.

Emmett glanced at the dishes and smirked. "It must suck having to do all this yourself, Eddie."

Jasper looked at Emmett with an amused expression. "Yeah, Edward the homemaker. It just doesn't work".

"Shut up". I mumbled.

"What were you talking about?" Emmett rested his hand against the fridge. "You both looked pretty tense when I walked in".

"I was just telling him that we went to see the girls". Jasper said with a sly smile. "Do you know Bella's got a job?"

"No shit?" Emmett asked, looking rather interested. "Where?"

Jasper chuckled. "Yeah. Edward asked me that, too."

I glared at him but he ignored me.

"I don't know, man. Geez. Alice just told me some local diner. Apparently a friend of hers got it for her."

Emmett nodded and opened my fridge, searching for something to eat. He pulled out an apple and bit into it loudly. "I'm fucking starving".

I sighed and rested back on the cabinet. Jasper glanced at Emmett, who was looking around the apartment, and down at the mess. "No offense Edward, but..dude..At least when you had a woman living here, you were a lot cleaner".

I scowled at him and Jasper laughed. "He needs a maid".

"No. He needs a girlfriend". Emmett joked.

I rolled my eyes but couldn't help smiling. "That's for sure."

"Been seeing anyone?" Jasper asked curiously.

I shoved my hands into my pockets sheepishly. Should I tell him? I didn't really know what Tanya and I were yet. We were sort casually seeing and sleeping with each other, not really dating. I didn't want rumors spread when I didn't even know what we were.

I sighed and figured I could trust them.

"Well, kinda". I admitted. "But you can't go telling anyone. I don't know if it's…hell, I don't know _what_ it is. But I'm seeing a girl".

"Fuck buddies?" Emmett smirked, taking another bite of the apple. I smirked and looked away.

"Yeah, we're sleeping together."

"Ask her out". Jasper said softly. "If you like her, that is".

I stood there in contemplative thought. I _did_ want to ask Tanya out, but I didn't know if she was that type of girl. I shrugged.

"Maybe".

"Is she good?" Emmett grinned widely. I had to laugh.

"Fucking amazing". I said dramatically, heading past them. Jasper rolled his eyes and Emmett threw the core of the apple at me.

"Not sexually deprived anymore, are ya?" He joked.

"Don't be a fucking pig, man! Throw it in the bin". I threw it back at him and he laughed. We mucked around for a bit, and soon enough the Chinese food came.

We paid, and collapsed on the couch with a coke bottle, vodka and plates.

We laughed, ate and drank through action, horror and comedies. I didn't even bother to care that I downed a heap of shots, while Emmett only had a few. Jasper had one, as he was the one to drive.

We were lounging on the floor at around eleven thirty when Jasper's phone rang. "Hello?"

I glanced at him with a drunken smirk on my lips. "Is it Alice?" I asked loudly.

He ignored me and smiled, obviously happy with whoever called. "Hey baby. Yeah, we're still at Edwards".

I sighed and leaned my head back. _Yep_, it was Alice. Those two were fucking inseparable. It pissed me off like crazy sometimes.

He laughed heartedly. "You did? Really?"

His smile got wider as he continued talking. Emmett glanced over at me and mouthed; "Whipped". I snorted.

That was for sure.

"Well give them a chance to catch up, babe!" Jasper chuckled. "Alright. I'll put him on. Hey--I love you".

I rolled my eyes.

He smiled and handed over the phone to Emmett. "It's your girl. The three of them are out to dinner."

I looked at him. "The three of them?"

"Yeah, Bella's with them too". He didn't look at me, still all smiles from his phone call with Alice. He was so whipped, it was pathetic. He lived and breathed my sister. I used to find it kind of cute, now…well…it's irritating.

_Bella was with them?_ That must mean she's alright then, if she's still getting time to go out for dinner. That's a relief.

"Hi, babe!" Emmett sounded even more enthusiastic then Jasper. "Yeah we're having a good time. Where are you three?"

I chuckled at his overprotective tone. "Well you tell that fucker of a bartender that if he touches your hand like that again…"

Jasper smirked and shook his head. I knew what he was thinking, and I agreed. Emmett adored Rose and was so overprotective of her. He never wanted to loose her love. Not just because she was one of the most beautiful girls any of us had ever seen, but also because she opened up a sweet, sincere side that was only for him. She loved him like crazy; it was impossible to tell who loved each other more.

Come to think of it, if Jasper was whipped, Emmett was ten times worse.

"I miss you, too. Jazz and I will be over tomorrow. You take it easy, alright? I love you, baby."

He smiled. "Alright. Bye". He hung up and threw the phone back to Jasper. "Sounds like their having a good time."

"Yeah, it's nice they are taking Bella out". Jasper agreed. I stared at my hands awkwardly.

"So, uh.." I glanced back at the TV. "Have we watched them all?"

"Pretty much". Jasper shrugged, leaning back on the floor. "We gotta get going soon actually. We're headed to the girls tomorrow and I need sleep".

I sighed and leaned my head back. Tomorrow was another dead day for me tomorrow. I had no idea what to do. Guess the idea of asking these two to hang out was now out of the question.

We lounged around watching the TV for a while, before Jasper sighed and checked his watch.

"Emmett, we better go". He yawned.

Emmett nodded, pulling out his phone and texted someone, who I guessed was Rose. He then got up and I followed them.

"We'll catch up with ya later, man." Emmett patted my back and opened the door.

"Tell the girls I said hi". I told Jasper.

He smiled faintly. "Sure thing. See you." He headed out after Emmett, and I closed the door, leaning back against it. I sighed and closed my eyes. I was still pretty out of it; I just wanted to go bed. I glanced at the mess, wishing I had enough energy to clean, but I didn't.

"Stuff it". I murmured under my breath and headed to the bedroom, shrugging out of my shirt on the way there. I fell into bed, bare-chested as I reached for my pillow. I pressed my face into it and inhaled deeply. Nothing.

I couldn't put my finger on it, but something just…felt different. Almost like I couldn't get the same physical satisfaction from it that I once got. I had never had trouble sleeping before, but it was like there was an emptiness that didn't go away. I inhaled again, feeling my chest clench at the feeling that something wasn't_ right_. That there was something missing.

I groaned and pulled the blankets over my head, trying to ignore it and just concentrate on my breathing. But it didn't work. Possibly because I wasn't used to sleeping by myself. I had become so desperate to sleep, I had even rearranged the pillows on…that _used_ to be…Bella's side, and pressed myself into them so it felt like I was snuggling up to something. Pathetic, I know. But that's what I used to. I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me.

I sighed and closed my eyes, resorting to numbing my mind. It worked eventually, and soon enough I found myself falling asleep.

***

**Bella.**

"I love you too. I'll see you later." Rose smiled and hung up the phone, passing it back to Alice. "I think they had a little to drink".

Alice smiled and rolled her eyes. "It always happens when Edward is involved in the festivities".

My heart twinged when his name was mentioned, yet I tried to hide it. I hated being like this. Edward was Alice's brother; she should be able to talk about him without worrying about what my reactions would be. Yet I knew a part of me would always love Edward, and that's why it was so hard.

Alice glanced at me. "Sorry, Bella".

"No, it's alright". I managed a smile. "You should be able to talk about him, Ally. He's your brother".

"Even so." She rolled her eyes. "Sometimes, I just want to kill him for what he did."

Rose nodded in agreement, flipping her lovely blonde hair behind her shoulders. "Same, here. I mean that will never change, Bella. He had the best thing in the world, and he gave it all away for nothing."

I shook my head, running my finger over the rim of my glass.

"I'm just one girl out of many". I protested, thinking back on the girl that I saw him with at the dinner. I shook my head, trying to clear the image of my mind, but I couldn't. It was how it was meant to be.

I swear, it was as though Alice was a physic or something. She always knew what I was thinking about. "Bella, just because you saw him out with another girl doesn't mean he's happy."

I bit my lip lightly. "That's what I want, Ally. He _deserves_ to be happy. And he did seem to be happy."

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "Didn't take him long, did it? What did she look like?"

I thought back on it, squeezing my fingers. "Um, very pretty. Blonde hair, pale skin. I didn't see her up close."

Alice froze, and glanced at Tanya. I watched them have a conversation with their eyes, as if they just realized something. I waited patiently. Rose turned to me a solemn look.

"Um, Bells…We've seen her before. At least, we think it's the same girl".

"When?" I asked curiously.

Alice winced, and glanced at Rose. They then both looked at me, Alice being the first to speak. "The bachelor party. After you left that night, Rose and I ran into the guys at Glasshouse. And she was there."

I looked down. "D-Did he…"

"No, Bella. He didn't cheat on you." Rose insisted. "They were just chatting. But she seemed very flirty. I got the feeling…we got the feeling that she liked him."

"I guess he liked her back, then". I said softly, looking down at my glass. So Edward had the girl he wanted, now. It was his happily ever after. As much as I wanted to let my emotions get the best of me, I pushed it aside and concentrated on feeling happiness for him. He deserved it. I had put him through months, maybe even _years_ of unhappiness, so if he really wanted to be with this girl, I was glad for him.

"I'm happy for him". I whispered, ignoring the tears that stung at the back of my eyes.

Alice placed a hand on my shoulder, and I managed a smile of appreciation. I had my two best friends there for me, and I was more grateful then ever.

"Don't worry, Bella. You'll find someone". Rose soothed. "And you've got Jacob, now".

I smiled at the thought. Yes, that was true. I had improved a great deal in my life and become so much happier, all thanks to Jake. Even Rose and Alice said they noticed me coming home with color in my cheeks, and more of a smile. That's when I knew, as long as my best friend stayed with me; I knew I could overcome anything.

**A month later.**

I just clipped on my new earrings when I heard Jake at the door, chatting to Rose and Alice. I smiled hearing his low chuckle that I loved.

"Where is she? _Bella_! Today would be good!"

I laughed and ran downstairs. "Listen here, Jacob Black…"

I didn't finish my sentence, as he lifted me up and spun me around playfully. I squealed and gripped onto him. "Put me down!" I cried with laughter.

He fell down on the couch, pulling me down with him. We tackled each other playfully for a few moments, before I wrapped my arms around him tightly and kissing his cheek.

"Missed you, you know".

"I missed you too". He murmured.

"I'm so glad you're back. How's the family?" I asked, pulling away so I could see his face. Jake's father wasn't well, and he often had to go down to help look after him.

He smiled back at me. "Good. Dad's doing alright. So, what do you want to do tonight?"

"Hmm…" I pretended to ponder playfully. "Maybe…No. Um…_No_."

He laughed and suddenly tickled me, causing me to writhe underneath him. "S-Stop, J-Jake!" I squealed, trying to get away.

"Get a room, you two". Rose smirked as she walked past, and I laughed. Jake and I had learned not to worry about the innuendos as much anymore. We were best friends; we didn't need any more assurances.

"So, what are we doing tonight?" Alice flopped on the couch next to us.

"We're trying to decide". Jake smiled at her, getting up and wrapping an arm around me. "What do you guys feel like doing?"

"Dancing!" Alice squealed.

"Yeah!" Rose cut in.

I smiled. "Sure! Jake?"

"I'm in". He grinned. "Where are we going?"

"Oh, Alice knows the best places". I smiled at her and leaned my head on Jacob's shoulder. She grinned and lifted her hand in the air.

"We are going to have some _serious _fun! I'll call the guys. I know Jasper was up for doing something…Rose?"

"Yeah, so was Emmett". She called from the kitchen.

"Great. We'll call them".

Jake and I watched some silly movie on TV while we waited, laughing at the most random things. Alice and Rosalie made their calls, and turns out Jasper and Emmett were more then happy to join us. I smiled, excited to go out as a group.

Jasper and Emmett had already met Jake, and we got along well.

"We're all set! The guys will be here at 7. Sorry Jake, but we're going to have to steal Bella away from you and pretty her up". Alice joked and took my hand, pulling me up and away from Jake.

He chuckled. "Bella is _already_ beautiful."

I blushed furiously. "Sure, Jake".

"No, he's right. You are. But even the prettiest of the prettiest have to wear make up". Rose remarked playfully and led me to the bedroom.

"Be right back, Jake." Alice threw him the remote so he could watch TV and we all headed upstairs.

Alice had been nice enough to come shopping with me and helped me pick out a few nice dresses, rather then the same jeans. I still loved my jeans and hated not wearing them, but the dresses made me feel more feminine. Alice, Rose and Jake told me that it makes me look cuter, too. Of course I had blushed at that.

We could hear the doorbell ring, but Alice called Jake to get it. It was probably the guys. We headed back down, and could hear the three of them laughing and talking.

"We're done!" Alice came out and posed with a cute grin. Jasper got up to embrace her, whispering something into her ear before kissing her. Emmett naturally went straight to Rose, and Jake smiled at me, reaching for my hand.

"You look gorgeousl, Bells".

I bit my lower lip shyly. "Thanks, Jake".

"Lets go!" Alice exclaimed, and we headed out after closing everything up. Jake was more then happy to be the designated driver, as he said he rarely had anything to drink anyway.

We sang along to the radio and chatted happily the way there, and I couldn't help but smile with the burst of energy that I had. It felt wonderful, and I knew what was happening. The pain was slowly _decreasing_, and I was beginning to feel what it was like to love life again, to wake up with a smile. I was moving on, and my world was becoming a happier place.

Jake extended his hand to help me out of the car, and I smiled thankfully. He wrapped a protective arm around me as we headed in behind Emmett and Rose.

The music was already on loud, and after a couple of drinks between Alice, Rose, Emmett and Jasper, we decided to dance. I had a few sips of Alice's drink, but I didn't really like the taste of alcohol.

I blushed, embarrassed at the thought of my dancing when Jake twirled me and brought me to him. He smiled at me and lifted my chin.

"Just dance with me, Bella".

I smiled thankfully and leaned my head on his shoulder, feeling his lips on my head. My heart warmed at the simple gesture and all I could think about was this moment between us…Just Jacob and I.

***

**Alice.**

Jasper kissed me and I wrapped my arms around his neck, still swaying to the beat of the song. I glanced over at Bella and Jake, smiling at how cute they looked together. Jasper followed my eye line and smiled too.

"They should get together".

I nodded. "I know."

"I think Jake Is falling in_ love_ with her." Jasper breathed into my ear. "Whether he knows it or not, I'm not sure. But the way he looks at her and stuff…" He trailed off. "You should see the way his face lights up when we bring her up in conversation".

I smiled.

"I agree, and I think Bella's feelings run deeper for him then she will admit. But, patience is a virtue. I have faith they'll get together eventually. You can see it."

"Mmmm". He hummed against my hair. "I think you're right."

"I couldn't be more grateful to Jake. He's seriously done things for her that my brother never did. He's one of the most amazing guys I know."

"Hey". Jasper joked, and I laughed. "Not including you."

"He's a good guy". He rested his chin on my head. "Don't be too hard on your brother though. He's got his own dilemmas".

I scoffed. "What problems? I know he's out and about with other girls. I hear about it. If womanizing was a job, he'd be a millionaire".

Jasper chuckled and kissed my forehead. "My God, I love you."

"Me too". I smiled cheekily and kissed his cheek.

We danced together for a little while longer, before heading down for another drink and a breather. Looking out to the crowd around us, I suddenly spotted two people I didn't want to see.

My mouth dropped open and Jasper noticed.

"Alice? What's wrong?"

I nodded towards the direction I was staring at and he followed my gaze to see Edward dancing with a blonde girl. _That_ blonde girl. _Tanya._

I gritted my teeth.

"You've _got_ to be kidding".

Jasper gently restrained me. "Breathe, baby."

"She _can't_ see him". I insisted, and got up in an attempt to get Bella and Jake out of there, that is until Edward looked up and spotted them.

I winced. This _wasn't_ going to be good. Edward stopped his dancing slightly, his eyes definitely on Bella now. Jacob's back was towards him, so he couldn't see whom she was dancing with.

I sat back down at the precise moment that Edward's gaze turned to the tables, and he found what he was after. _Me._

He managed a smile and wave, and I waved gingerly back. Not tonight, _why tonight?_ We just wanted to go out and have a good time, not deal with more of this.

_Don't come over._ I prayed, and Jasper glanced at me.

"Do you want to go?"

"We can't now". I shook my head. "He'll follow".

Sure enough, he excused himself from his 'date' and began to walk over. Emmett and Rosalie were nowhere in sight, which was probably a good thing for his sake.

"Hey, Ally. Hey Jazz." He gave me a small smile.

"Hey". Jasper managed a smile.

"Hi, Edward". I didn't even bother to get up and embrace him. These days, it didn't feel like we were that close anymore. Even though we were blood-related siblings.

"What's up?"

"Nothing." He shrugged, crossing his arms. "Just uh, out with mates."

"Cool. So are we."

_Go away._

He glanced back out at Bella on the dance floor. "Yeah, so I see." He looked back to me, and I surprised he looked timidly at me, as if worrying what I was going to say.

"How is she?" He asked softly.

"She's _fine_". I answered, maybe a bit too coldly. "As you can see. She's moving on, and she's great".

He looked down and nodded. "That's great."

I rolled my eyes at his lack of enthusiasm. "You can at least be happy for her, you know? _You_ don't want her so she needs to find someone that does--Someone who won't play games with her and lead her on."

He shook his head slightly, shoving his hands into his pockets. He kept staring at the ground, before looking up to me; "Just look out for her, alright?"

I snorted. "You mean from guys like you?"

He opened his mouth to retort to that but Jasper interrupted. "Edward, don't. We are looking after her, alright? You don't need to trouble yourself."

"I'm not troubling myself. I just wanted to know how she was doing." He admitted, looking sheepish. "I hadn't seen her around, and…"

I glared at him. "And? Why does it matter to _you_? Want to rub salt in the wounds? You don't need to pretend that you still care about her."

"_Pretend_?" His voice was a mixture of surprise and anger. "Alice, she's been a huge part of my life for over ten years! Of course I still care--"

"--Well you don't have to." I interrupted. "So you're off the hook. All you have to do now is stay away from her, alright? She's got Jake looking after her. She's fine. So you can go back to your girlfriend." I added, before taking Jasper's hand.

"Come on, let's dance. _Goodbye_, Edward".

Without another word, we walked away, leaving him standing there. I wouldn't let myself feel bad because of it. This is exactly what he deserved. He got what he wanted, so there was no need for his concern for Bella. She was a big girl, she could look after herself, and she had Jake and us now. I watched the two of them dance, unable to resist smiling at them. He twirled her playfully, lifting her in his arms. She giggled happily and wrapped her arms around him. Her smile lit her face up with joy, and she looked beautiful and carefree again. Not the mess she once was.

Bella was just starting to move on, gain control of her life again, and I'd be damned if I'd let Edward take that away from her.

* * *

**Sooo what do you think?  
Let me know...****REVIEWWWW! **


	11. Thinking Over

**Sorry for the long wait!**

**Thank you for all your nudges, it helps with writers block. Feel free to nag me until i update anytime you want, as many times as you want, lol.  
**

**I was really concentrating on GOMD, so i didn't really have time to continue with this one, but now i'm back on track. This chapter is fairly full of drama, so i hope it makes up for the months without an update. Next one won't take near as long.**

**Oh, by the way. I used quite a few quotes from the movie/book in this chapter, which you'll probably pick out. Just to remind me that it is a TWILIGHT fanfiction, haha.  
**

**Love you guys! xx**

* * *

**Alice.**

Edward stayed away, and we didn't see him after that incident. Bella and Jake obviously didn't either, as they were both still laughing in high spirits on the way home. We all decided to crash at ours in the living room. Bella and Jake collapsed on the sofa, chatting softly that I felt I was interrupting something private if I said anything. Rose and Emmett were kissing in the corner, even after we warned them not to go at it tonight. I rolled my eyes and glanced back to my phone. Jasper kissed me and took his phone out of his pocket.

"I've got a set of your PJ bottoms in my drawer". I whispered to him and he smiled. "Alright. I'll be back". He left his phone with me and headed to the bedroom.

I rested my head, about to close my eyes when a phone next to me vibrated. I opened one eye to see it was Jasper's phone. I yawned and flipped it open. Who would be messaging him now? We were all here, so it wasn't one of us.

I clicked on the number, and my eyes widened. It was Edward.

I clicked to open it. Jasper and I always looked through our phones; we didn't have secrets. We didn't need to hide anything.

The message opened.

_Hey man. Just wondering, you know the guy Bella was with…was that her boyfriend? Don't tell Alice I've asked you this. _

I smirked. 

_Nice try, Edward._

I knew he was curious earlier this evening, and I was surprised he didn't ask. So trying to be smart, he sends Jasper a message thinking no one will find out.

"Are you reading Jasper's phone, Alice?" Bella joked.

I smiled innocently at her. "We have no secrets, so I'm allowed".

"Who is it?" Emmett asked curiously, stroking Rose's hair. She already seemed to be asleep.

"Uh, his cousin. Peter". I answered quickly.

"Cool".

"Very". I agreed, and quickly hit; "Reply". I smiled to myself as I typed up a message. I read it over before hitting send.

_You can't help yourself, can you? Jasper says Hi. _

_PS. It's none of your business. So don't ask again because none of us will be telling you a damn thing about Bella. She's happier now, and it's going to stay that away. You don't deserve to know anything about her anymore. Do yourself, and Bella a favor. Stay the hell out of her life. _

_And be sure to give my love to Tanya. _

_Love, Alice. _

_

* * *

_

**Edward.**

I sighed heavily after reading the message from Alice. I should have known that somehow she would get a hold of it through Jasper's phone.

I threw it on the couch and turned it off, grabbing one of the cushions from the sofa and burying my head in it. I didn't know what was wrong with me. Alice was partly right, and that's why I was so frustrated. Why did it matter? It wasn't any of my business.

When I saw Bella dancing, I stopped from the surprise. I hadn't seen her in two months, and it was a relief to see that she was alright.

_More _then alright. She was dancing with a guy I couldn't see, and the sight caused a slight reaction within me, which I quickly dismissed.

I couldn't look away, maybe because I was trying to identify what was different about her. She seemed…lighter. Happier. She didn't look at me, and for a moment I had almost wished she would. I would always be able to read those chocolate orbs of hers, and now…well, I didn't know.

I had tried to approach Alice, hoping to fish for information. Alice, as I had expected, shut me down before she could tell me any major changes in her life. That is, until Alice muttered his name.

_Jake._

When I finally caught sight of him, it hit me. He was the guy that was with her the night I had to go pick her up, when she had too much to drink.

My eyes narrowed slightly. Some friend he was that night, allowing her friends to get her sick like that. I remembered shoving him aside to get to Bella and the satisfaction I felt at seeing his eyes go wide.

"_Who are you?"_

"_Her fiancé, that's who. So stay the hell away from her."_

I shook head, causing the memory to disappear. That was a long time ago. At least, it felt that way. Was he dating Bella now?

She wouldn't be with him, would she?

That's what had led to now. I had stayed away like Alice told me too, unable to help watching from a distance. I'd watch him twirl her and dance with her, lifting her up playfully.

_He was making her happ_y, I realized.

He was making her smile, laugh, bringing her out of her shell, away from her shyness.

Tanya had snapped her fingers a few times at me, willing my attention back to her. I don't even think she noticed who I was looking at it. Apologizing to her, I forced my gaze and thoughts away from Bella to the beautiful girl in front of me. My date.

I couldn't help stealing glances at Bella on occasion though, and caught her smile whenever he touched her or neared her. An unfamiliar feeling tightened in my chest and I didn't understand it. What was wrong me? I _should_ be…I am happy for Bella.

I want her to be happy. After what I did to her, I would never forgive myself until the day I saw her married to someone else, completely and truly happy. Then I would know for sure that I did the right thing, and I would find my own happiness with the girl I'm meant to marry. Whoever that is. I glanced to Tanya and smiled at her, pulling her closer and wrapping an arm around her waist, still dancing.

She had leaned up to kiss me, completely occupying my mind.

Tanya had begged to come in and continue our night, tugging at my shirt. I had desperately wanted her, but there was something at the back of my mind that I needed to figure out. I had politely refused her, kissed her and told her I was tired and I'd call her back.

When was in, I had messaged Jasper, unable to get out of my mind during the car ride home whether _Jake _was Bella's boyfriend or not.

Maybe he was just a friend. I honestly couldn't see…Jacob…_with_ Bella. She just didn't look right with him, and he didn't take care of her last time. She would be with someone who can first and foremost take care of her, make sure she doesn't accidentally get herself killed. She was a klutz, and needed supervision most of the time. I had always smiled at the thought that I was fighting fate to keep Bella alive, and I was the only one who could do that.

So, that's it. Alice had reached the phone first, and I still didn't know. That's when I became angered with myself all over again.

_It doesn't concern you!_

I shut my phone in haste and let it go, pulling my shirt off and heading to bed. I had more important things to do, and to worry about.

It didn't help though, and I tossed and turned for a while before finally succumbing into sleep.

**Bella.**

"Bella, can you get that table for me?" Sam called from the kitchen. I glanced up and saw another group of people had been admitted.

"Sure". I grabbed my pencil and pad, heading over. I took their orders quickly, not missing the looks I got from one male that seemed around my age. He smiled charmingly at me when I took his order. He was very handsome, but it made me feel slightly uncomfortable.

"Shouldn't be long". I told them shyly and headed back inside to hand over the order. After they had finished and paid, I heard the clinks of extra money in the tip box. I glanced over at it; to see the guy my age had been the one to tip us. Paul, one of the waiters, saw the rather generous tip and smiled at me teasingly.

"Another guy, Bella?"

I blushed furiously. "N-No. It can't be me".

He chuckled and shook his head. "Seriously, Bells. I don't get it. You've got a real, pretty, natural look about you. I don't understand why you put yourself down. You are beautiful. We all see it, especially Jake".

I blushed at that.

"Thanks Paul, but I really don't think--"

"He's right. You are beautiful". A voice came behind me, and I jumped. A pair of warm arms wrapped around me and I smiled, turning around. I threw my arms around him.

"Jake!"

"Get together already". Paul murmured, and Jake glared at him.

I bit my lower lip shyly. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to see you." He smiled, removing his hand to hand me something I hadn't realized he had--a rose.

My cheeks reddened to the same color as the petals, and my heart thumped furiously.

"Oh, Jake. It's beautiful."

"Just my version of a tip". He smiled and I rolled my eyes playfully.

"Jake, you give me tips all the time".

Many times Jake had come to dinner with friends from our class or simply to wait for me, and after every meal he would give me a tip. "Jake!" I would always protest, and try to give it back. He would simply hand it back to me, saying; "Really, Bella. You deserve it. You work too hard." Something Sam said quite often, too.

"Don't work yourself too much, Bella". He'd tell me, concern in his eyes. I was there almost every afternoon after uni, saving all the money I could.

I truly considered Sam, Paul and Embry good friends of mine. They genuinely cared about me as I did about them, and I couldn't be more grateful. They were like family to me now, and I loved them.

"Well, considering you get upset when I give you money, I thought a rose might be nicer. Something different". He smiled at me with an emotion I could never understand. Jake and I had been close for close to three months now, and only the last month or so he'd had this…secret, this thing about him that he kept hidden.

Sometimes I couldn't believe I hadn't seen Edward in almost four months. The emptiness in my chest would always arise and I'd clutch my knees to my chest in an attempt to keep myself together. Unbroken.

The tears would come rarely now, and It was a relief. Yet sometimes the tears were an outlet for the wound in my chest that hadn't fully closed, and I craved them.

"Bella?" Sam called from the kitchen.

"Oh, coming!" I placed the plates down and smiled at Jake apologetically; I had to get back to work. He nodded. As I walked toward the kitchen, I couldn't help but smile.

When I was around Jake…I didn't know. The tears stopped, the gash was no longer there, and my heart would swell with a new emotion. I suddenly craved him, all of him.

I was so in depth with my thoughts, I hadn't noticed where someone had dropped their drink, and slipped, hitting my head against the sharp corner of the counter.

"Bella!" Jacob shouted, and I heard footsteps scurry over to me. I moaned at the pain, reaching up to touch my forehead. I felt liquid, warm, sticky liquid. Blood.

Jacob was turning me over so I was on my back. He touched my forehead gently. My eyes fluttered a few times, the smell of blood making me dizzy.

"How...how bad is it?" I sighed.

"Not too bad". He pressed something nice and cool to my forehead, and I moaned softly. His hand cupped my cheek gently, and I opened my eyes. He was a lot closer then I thought, his large brown eyes watching my every move as he dabbed at the wound on my head. His hand stroked my cheek with soothing motions.

"Bella, Bella. What am I going to do with you?" He smiled thoughtfully, as if he was asking himself that question. I observed his face, and my fingers craved to touch him, more then anything. His perfect features, soft yet manly. His eyes twinkling, making me unable to look away. I wanted to touch his cheek the way he touched mine; I wanted to press my finger gently to the outline of his lips…

"You're sort of beautiful". I whispered, still in a strange daze. My fingers blindly reached up to his chin, and my eyes fluttered shut. When I opened them again, he had stopped dabbing at my wound. His eyes were focused on mine, and he smiled slightly.

"I think you may have hit your head harder then you thought." He leaned forward and kissed my forehead, making my heart stutter.

"Come on, let's get you up".

I nodded, feeling him lift me. I stumbled back and he caught me; lifting me in his arms. I squealed in surprise.

"J-Jake! I can walk, put me down!"

"No you can't." He joked. "Besides, you've worked enough. You're shift was over an hour ago. You're coming home with me".

"No!" I pretended to squirm playfully, and he tickled me. I laughed and gripped onto him tighter.

"See you, Sam". I heard him call. "I'm taking Bella home".

"See you, man. See you later, Bells! Rest ok?"

"Okay. I'm sure Jake will make me". I called back as I was carried out. Jake chuckled and held me closer, heading out to his car.

We drove back to his apartment next to the uni, and Jake helped me out.

"I can walk". I insisted playfully, and he laughed.

"I know. But I'm not letting you go."

I blushed as he carried me inside, unlocking the door and heading in. He sat me down and got down on his knees next to the sofa. His eyes met mine, filled with awe.

"Bella," He whispered. "Stay the night with me? It's just…you've been so busy lately, and I want to spend time with you."

I smiled slightly. "Sure, Jake". I wrapped my arms around him and felt him grin against my cheek. He often asked me to stay over, and being such good friends, it wasn't ever really awkward. We'd watch movies and laugh, feasting on snacks, before hitting the sack. Ever the gentleman, he'd insist I'd take his bed and he slept in the spare bed. I felt horrible, but he wouldn't hear of it.

He pulled back and kissed my forehead. "So, what do you want for dinner?"

Jake already knew how to cook, and was pretty amazing at it. I loved it when I came to his house for dinner. He was incredible.

"Anything." I told him honestly, and he smiled.

"Go and get changed, then. I'll start cooking for us". He headed out, and I smiled, getting up and making my way to Jake's room. When I'd stayed last time, we'd decided I'd leave one of my old shirts and pants here for next time. I opened his wardrobe and saw he had placed my clothes on the top shelf, as if it was priority. I smiled at that…our clothes, mixed together. I reached for them and locked myself in the bedroom, getting changed. Letting my hair down, I felt much more at ease. I ran my fingers through it a few times and folded my work clothes, heading back out. I could hear him frying in the kitchen, and smiled at the familiarity of it. This place was almost becoming like a second home to me. Somewhere I could never grow tired of.

I placed my clothes on the couch and headed into the kitchen.

Jake turned to me and smiled, reaching out and taking me in his arms. I hugged him tightly, kissing his cheek in an impulsive moment. He froze for a moment, before leaning back to kiss my forehead.

"Bella," He murmured, and at that moment I almost forgot my own name.

"Jake." I whispered against his neck. How do you tell this person how much they mean to you, when you can't even describe the intensity of your feelings? There were no words for a moment like this. It was the perfect moment.

That is, until I felt him press his finger under my chin gently, and lift my face to look at him. The emotion in his eyes was almost too much. I couldn't understand it…maybe because I'd never seen it before. He was looking at me like I was the only girl in the world. His world.

I felt a little uneasy, but not even close enough to pull away or break this silence. His eyes burned through mine; trying to convey that same emotion I'd seen him hide for the last few weeks. What could it be?

His arms tightened round me, pulling me a step closer. My body moved automatically, my eyes never straining from his. I was bending to his will, and with the way he looked at me…I had no other choice.

And that's when he began to move his face closer to mine. I couldn't even process what was happening, it was all too much and I couldn't bear it. So I forced my mind to clear every memory I had stored, whether it be of family, friends, or a certain green eyed man…

And focus on here, and now. I couldn't find myself to move my feet…only my hands, which gripped his strong arms. I sucked in a breath.

His forehead brushed mine, and I sighed softly. His hand moved to gently cup my cheek, and I knew exactly what he was going to do. My mind was going a million miles an hour, half of me begging to stop this...all while his nose brushed mine, and he leant down further…

_Ring, Ring._

_Ring, Ring._

I closed my eyes and bit my lip, biting back a sigh. He reluctantly backed away to answer it, leaving me still stunned and unable to move, standing by myself in the middle of his kitchen.

"Hello?" I heard him murmur, in a slightly annoyed tone.

I zoned out, unable to believe what I had done. I was going to allow him…I was…I backed against his fridge, holding my head in my hands.

I couldn't even say it. I prayed to God I was wrong, and that Jake wasn't actually going to…

"I'm sorry about that". Jake emerged back in with a sheepish smile.

I couldn't move.

"Bella?" He approached me cautiously.

Say something!

"It's f-fine". I looked up and smiled at him. I was going to pretend it never happened, I figured. I was going to try my hardest to forget.

He opened his mouth to say something, when his eyes diverted to the left and widened noticeably. "The food, crap."

"Oh!" I gasped and quickly turned around to the pan, pulling out the tenders and placing them on the plate he had next to them. He chuckled and shook his head.

"Lucky".

I laughed. "It's alright. You wouldn't believe how many times it's happened to me."

He chuckled and I helped him set the table and plates of food. I allowed myself to drift away of what could have happened, and just focus on the fact that it didn't. Dinner was normal, and soon it was all forgotten by our laughter.

"I can't believe it. You truly are a magnet for disaster. The customers must get a good laugh out of it," He teased, and I blushed.

"I'm not that bad," I defended myself.

"Are too."

"Am not."

"Are," He kissed my forehead as he reached for my plate, "Too."

I giggled and swatted him away. He chuckled and took both our empty plates to the sink. I got up and followed him, pulling up my sleeves gently.

"Jake, let me help you."

"Don't be silly, Bella." He took my cup off me and placed it in the sink. "I'm not going to wash up now, anyway. Come on, movie time. It's your turn to choose." He reached for my hand and led me back out to the living room. I smiled and rolled my eyes, following him out. At that moment, his fingers intertwined with mine. My entire body froze, and all I could think--all I could feel, were the similarities to Edward. Edward intertwined his fingers with mine the very same way--slowly, gently, always finishing with a slight squeeze of my hand. Exactly what Jake had done. I paused for a moment, overwhelmed by the memories I never wanted to see again.

I pulled my hand gently out of Jacob's grasp, and he turned to me. He must have seen what state I was in, because he approached me with caution. His hand touched my shoulder gently.

"Bella? Are you alright?"

I blinked feverishly at the tears. "U-Um, yeah. Sorry. I j-just…"

"_Him_, huh?" He said softly, and I nodded shamefully.

"I-I'm Sorry."

"God damn it, Bella!" Jake reached for my other shoulder and turned me around to face him, his features contorted with rage. "If I hear you apologize one more time, I'm going to go and hunt down that bastard myself. You have NOTHING to be sorry for, do you hear me?" He shook my shoulders a little, not to harm me.

I shivered a little, nodding slightly. He sighed and looked down, as if he was trying to control himself. His hand left my shoulder to gently curve around my waist, pulling me to his chest. I accepted the embrace, pressing my fingers to his shirt. I buried my face in his chest, feeling absolutely horrible. I was hurting Jake, I could see it in his eyes. Yet, as hard as I tried, I couldn't stop myself. Everything in my life was about Edward. It always has been.

"Bella." He sighed again, and pushed a stray hair behind my ear. "We need to talk. Come on." He led me to the couch in a daze. I followed lifelessly behind him, and sat down. My eyes set on a dark spot on the carpet, and I never looked up.

He moved a little closer to me.

"I _know_ what he did to you," He whispered. "And Bella, I _promise_--I'll never ever hurt you."

I nodded numbly.

It was like a huge hole had been punched through my chest, and I couldn't feel anything but the pain. The gash across my heart.

He lifted my chin gently to look at him, and I met the deep black pools. I searched his face to find the comfort I sought, the reassurance I needed that I could get through this. Amongst that, I felt the steady beat of my heart, increase. His gaze sent a shiver through my body, and I instinctively leaned closer to him. I hadn't even realized he began to lean forward, and my eyes closed of their own will.

I felt his warm breath on my lips, and my heart thumped loudly as he grew closer. Just as I felt his lips lightly brush mine, I turned my head. What was I _doing_? Why was I hurting Jake this way? I knew the truth.

He sighed and leaned his head against mine. "Bella, I _love_ you."

I blinked and felt the tears trickle down my cheek. I managed a weak nod. I already knew that.

"Jake, please…"

"No." He forced my chin up to look at him. "Bella, I'm not going to pretend like I don't love you. I'm sick and tired of it. I love you. I love you, and I think that's something you need to hear. I'm not _him_.' He said tenderly, stroking my cheek. "I'm not going to hurt you. I can heal you, Bella."

"You already have." I whispered. "Jake, you've helped me immensely, in ways you can only dream about. But I'm never…" I choked on my tears, looking up to meet his eyes, "I'm not a car you can fix up to perfection. I'm never going to run right, and there's nothing you can do to change it. As much as I wish you could…you can't." I begged him to understand. "I'll never be whole, and you deserve better then that."

"Bella," He whispered in disbelief. "How can you think so low of me? I love all of you, including any imperfections you think you may have. But you don't." He held my cheek firmly. "You're perfect, Bella. He couldn't see it, but I can. I'm willing to deal with the part of you that still holds a candle for him. But you won't be like that forever, Bella. You'll get over him, and you'll move on. Even if it takes a long time. And I want to be the guy you move on with."

I let out a deep breath, unable to comprehend how selfless he was being. How could he stand it? How could he want to be with only half a person?

"Jake, please…don't do this." I breathed out, pained to the core of my heart.

"Alright, answer me this," He said softy. "You like me, right?"

What else could I do? I couldn't deny him what I knew was true. I nodded helplessly.

"And you think I'm…sort of beautiful?" His voice was half teasing, but I couldn't smile. I bit my lower lip and looked away. I knew where he was heading.

"Jake please…I do love you, but not the way you love me. You're my best friend, a-and…I need you."

He watched me for a moment. "You know, I actually think you're fighting this, Bella." He gently nudged his nose with mine, causing my heart to stutter. "I think you're more over him than you think. I think you hold deeper feelings for me, than you believe you do. Best friends don't act like we do. Allow me in your heart, Bella. Let yourself be with me. You'll be surprised at your own feelings and desires. You've changed over the past few months, whether you've realized it or not. Let yourself move on."

I tried to think, did. The soft rain outside did little to conceal my thoughts. I looked back up to Jake; unable to discern what it is he wanted me to stay.

"Bella." He whispered, lifting my chin up slightly. This time, I wasn't undecided, as he leaned down slowly. I gave into the desire that part of me did want, and that was him. At that moment, he kissed me.

I could barely believe it, but it was here…now. He hesitantly brushed his lips against mine, and my fingers unknowingly clenched at his broad shoulders, moving to his hair. I sighed in his mouth, and he pulled me closer. I didn't stop him, because it was like something within me changed. All I could think about was Jacob as he kissed me lovingly, with growing passion. My mind was completely consumed by him, and his love for me…and lastly, my love for him. However strong that it was.

Every kiss intensified, and closer was never close enough. He pulled me into his lap, his arms holding me tightly. I whimpered against the warmth of his pursed lips against mine. It was as though we fit, perfectly together. It completely shocked me that I felt as though I had kissed him many times before, and even more so that I didn't want to stop anytime soon.

What did this mean? I felt the unshed tears, even as I gripped onto him as you would a lifeline.

Eventually, he pulled away with a breathless, "I love you, Bella."

"Jake," I leaned my forehead against his. "I can't hear you say that, when I can't say it back with as much meaning…"

"Do you love me at all, Bella?" He asked, kissing my forehead. "And don't lie to me. Your kisses don't lie."

I blushed at that, and I felt him smile against my skin as he kissed my temple. I could barely think straight, but in my heart I knew I did.

I met his gaze, and touched his warm cheek. I adored this man, and loved him with everything I me. Even if it would never be enough. I couldn't deny that anymore.

"I do love you, Jake." I nodded helplessly. "But--"

And just as I was about to say something else, he covered my lips gently.

"No buts. I know that better then you do."

He leaned forward and kissed me lightly, before kissing the tears on my cheek that I didn't even notice I'd shed.

"I know you need time to think about this," He murmured, stroking my hair softly. I leaned against him, nodding weakly. "No pressure, Bella. You know I want to be with you, officially, but not until you're ready. I love you, and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make you mine. I'd wait for forever it meant I could have your love one day."

I reached up to touch his cheek tenderly, gazing into those beautiful dark eyes. "Thank you."

He turned my hand over gently and kissed the inside of my hand. "Anytime. So…" He kissed my hair tenderly, "Are we up for movies, or…" He glanced at his watch, "bed?"

"I'm kind of tired." I admitted against his shoulder. He chuckled and lifted me up in his arms unexpectedly, prompting a squeal from me.

"Jake! Put me down!"

"No." He refused teasingly, turning off the TV and carrying me up to his room. I relished how comfortable I was in his arms, the warmth which encircled me. It was as though I could never be close enough to Jacob, that I was always desperate to have him by my side.

He moved the door open with his foot and set me down on his double bed. I scrambled underneath the covers, pulling him down with me playfully. He chuckled against my hair and pulled the blankets up over the both of us.

I thought I heard him murmur, "_I love you_," but I wasn't sure, so I didn't say anything. I snuggled closer to him, and he wrapped his arms around me.

"Goodnight Jake." I whispered.

"Goodnight, Bella. Sweet dreams."

**Edward.**

"Wake up, baby." I felt cold, wet, unfamiliar lips against the skin of my throat, making me slightly uncomfortable. I groaned softly and rolled over, waking me up to my senses, and then I realized who it was.

"Not now, Tanya." I murmured, trying to push her away. She was persistent though; I'll give her that. Morning sex seemed to be her thing, but it didn't arouse me. Especially not when we'd had sex the night before. Now I've got a ridiculously healthy sex drive, especially since I was actually getting some now, but damn--I did need a break once in a while. Tanya seemed evidently assured that she had to make up for years of me going without sex.

"Not even for our three month anniversary?" She murmured against my shoulder, and my eyes opened wide at that. Shit! I quickly rolled over and took her in my arms.

"So it is. Happy Anniversary babe." I smiled and kissed her before she could point out that it was obvious I'd forgotten. She wound her fingers in my hair and kissed me back as just passionately, screw morning breath. As nice as it felt to have Tanya in my arms, sometimes it was hard to achieve just that. I'm a guy, and cuddling doesn't top sex as far as I'm concerned, but sometimes it's more appropriate. Having Tanya in my arms would always lead to sex within the next ten minutes, either by her deliberately running her backside into my crotch, or being upfront and getting straight into it. Not that I minded, but still--sometimes I was just in the mood to…be with her. Hold her. Get to know her, her emotional side. I could write a book on how damn good she is in bed, but she was my girlfriend now, not living with me yet but still my girlfriend, and I wanted to know her.

"Baby, baby…" I stopped her when she tried to remove my pants. "Not now. Later, ok?"

She frowned. "You know Edward, sometimes it feels like you don't want me the way I want you."

I groaned. Here we go, the same bloody argument. "Tanya, for God's sake. I want you to be more to me than a fucking sex slave. Lets just go out, ok? I'll take you out for lunch." I kissed her lips softly, and it was a first that she didn't do anything back. I kissed her neck and inhaled her scent. It was nice, but it always caused an ache in my heart. I couldn't get past the thought that something was missing. Something about the scent in my room had been lost or changed, and I couldn't figure it out. It made me uncomfortable at night, and sometimes, while Tanya was asleep, I'd stare at my pillow angrily and wonder why the scent of it doesn't do for me what it once did. Why couldn't I sleep as well as I used to anymore? Even holding Tanya's body close to mine didn't feel right sometimes.

I sighed and looked up, kissing her nose.

She managed a smile.

"Okay."

I smiled back at her and placed a strand of hair behind her ear. "Come on, let's get up. I need a shower."

"If we take one together we can save water." She said suggestively.

I chuckled and pulled the blankets back. "Now there's a valid point I can't argue with."

"Great! Then don't." She smiled seductively and pulled me towards the bathroom. I rolled my eyes. Here we go again.

***

"Oh, Edward, it's fucking awesome out here!" Tanya beamed, staring at the entrance of the restaurant I promised I'd take her to. It was secluded and nice, the perfect romantic atmosphere.

"Yeah, I know." I smiled down at her and she reached for my hand, moving closer to me. I wrapped an arm around her waist and we headed up.

I asked the waiter for a table for two, and he led us to a nice spot. I opened Tanya's chair for her and we sat down, scanning the menus and eventually ordering.

"So, happy anniversary." I smiled at her, lifting my glass of wine to hers.

She clinked them and smiled back at me. "And many more hopefully."

I smiled and nodded silently, not sure what to say to that.

We talked for a while, expressing out concern for the mid-exams which Tanya was especially worried about.

"I'm just…" She sighed, "I don't know. It's getting really difficult, you know? I'm thinking of changing careers."

"Well," I took a sip of my wine, "If it's what makes you happy, you should."

She pouted. "I was expecting you to say no. God Eddie, don't you want me with you all the time?"

I sighed. "Yes, Tanya. Of course. But I should have nothing to do with your career choice. If you don't want to be a nurse, don't. What do you want to do?"

She shrugged. "I don't even know."

I half smiled. "Well you better think about it soon, babe. Once the mid year semester passes it's very difficult to swap."

She smiled and nodded, taking another bite of her food. "So um, anyway, I was thinking." She began absent-mindedly twirling a strand of hair around her fingers. "We should move in together soon. Like in the next few days. I want to come live with you."

I furrowed my eyebrows. "So soon? Tanya…"

"What, Eddie?" She asked in a frustrated tone. "Don't even start giving me your bullshit excuses! We're together; we've been together for three fucking months!! I want to move in together! You_ should_ want me to!" She crossed her arms, and her voice was louder then probably intended.

I hushed her quickly. "Please, keep your voice down. It's not what you think, I just--I don't think that step is necessary yet; I mean you live on campus, you're practically next door to me."

"So?" She questioned sternly, and I winced at her volume. A few people glanced at us, and I gave her a look. She immediately quieted down.

"Eddie, baby, I'm always at your house anyway. What difference does it make?"

"That's my point exactly, Tanya. You live close by; you can come and go as many times as you want. It's not necessary when you live so close. Moving in together isn't an easy thing."

She glared at me. "You moved in with that little girl of yours!! Your fucking ex! So what's the damn difference, huh? Why her and not me?"

"Tanya," I growled at the mention of Bella's name. She knew better then to bring her up, knowing we'd get into a fight about it.

"_Bella _and I had been friends since we were children, and we'd been dating for a few years. We both had to move to university, and she had no where else to stay up here."

"There's no difference!" She shouted stubbornly.

"You and I have only been dating a few months, there's a major difference!" I retorted.

She threw up her arms in exasperation. "No, there's not. What did she have that I don't? Hmm? Just tell me that!" She screamed.

I grabbed her hand and pulled her up from the table. "If you're going to scream, we're leaving. You got that?"

I didn't like to do it, but fuck, sometimes I had to treat Tanya like a small child.

"Then answer me." She asked in a soft, dangerous voice. I sat back down with her and glared at her. "This has _nothing_ to do with Bella, so leave her out of this."

She shook her head at me. "See! Every time she comes up in conversation, you have to jump to her defense! What the hell is with that?"

I glanced down at my hands, before looking back up to her. Honestly, sometimes I didn't even know the answer to that. I just...couldn't…let anyone disrespect Bella.

"I told you, Tanya. She's my best friend--she was," I quickly corrected myself, and that caused a twinge in my heart. "Before anything developed, that's what she was. She meant everything to me, and you've got to learn to accept that. I'm never going to talk bad about her, because she doesn't deserve it, and besides, there's nothing to say."

"Nothing to say?" She scoffed. "Edward, she's a fucking bitch. You told me she made your life a misery with the marriage bullshit! Now you take that back?"

I slammed my fist against the table, causing her to jump a little. She stared up at me with hard eyes, and I couldn't believe our date was going the way it was going.

"She is _not_ a bitch." I gritted through my teeth. "I'm not going to say it again, Tanya. I would appreciate it if she was left _out _of this conversation."

She sighed and covered her face with her hands, calming down before looking back to me. "Eddie, I just…I want us to do this together."

"I understand that, I just don't understand the rush…why so soon?" I questioned, lifting the wine to my lips.

"Because I _love_ you, damn it!" She proclaimed. "I love you, Edward."

I choked on the wine, covering my mouth as I coughed it out. I cleared my throat one more time before glancing back to her.

"W-What?" I spluttered.

She smiled widely. "I love you. That's why I want us to move in together soon, because everything's falling into place, you know? We're in love with each other, the next step is moving in. Then maybe after college we can consider taking it further then that."

I shook my head slightly. "Whoa, whoa. Tanya."

"Oh, Eddie." She laughed. "I don't mean marriage or anything anytime soon. God, that's years away, maybe over a decade away. But we can live together like a proper couple should."

I looked down, unable to comprehend all of this. She told me she loved me, and now, all of a sudden, we're in love? I'm glad she didn't wait for my response, because I wasn't sure that I could say that back. After three months, I was pretty sure I wasn't…in love with her. Yet. I really liked her, no doubt, but love? Love with Tanya didn't even register anytime soon. She just didn't seem like the type to be into that shit.

"So it's settled?" She smiled hopefully, and I knew I couldn't refuse her. Besides, I knew she'd cause a scene if I refused, and it wasn't that I didn't want Tanya living with me…exactly…I just wasn't sure it felt right. Maybe because I was…used to be…in love with Bella, and I was yet to feel that way about Tanya. Asking Bella to move in with me seemed so simple; the right thing to do. Tanya's situation felt so different.

_Grow a pair Cullen, and stop over thinking this._

"Sure." I surrendered, managing a smile. She squealed and got up from her chair to kiss me.

* * *

**So.**

**Review? Please? :)**


	12. What Does It Take to Fall In Love?

**Wow, okay, you are all lovely and wonderful and beautiful. :)**

**I love you all a great deal and i'm so sorry. University is biting my ass big time, and i never get time to write for my own lesiure anymore. Just remember, that i will never give up on this story. I can only update when i can, but i won't ever stop writing it. I do little bit by little bit. :)**

**Hope i haven't lost you all, i will try and get them up quicker. Forgive me!**

**Jess. xx**

* * *

**A Month Later. **

"Morning sleepy beauty." I heard a soft, chuckle against my ear. I smiled absentmindedly and leaned in closer to him, pressing my hands into his warm chest. Jake and I still spent nights at each other's house, and he hadn't pressured me on my answer to be official. I knew I was ridiculously lucky to have him.

"Jake," I whimpered, feeling as though close was not close enough. I felt his warm breath on my face, trailing from my forehead, down to my nose. He pressed his lips to the tip of my nose and my heart stuttered dramatically. Instinctively I leaned forward, and at that moment I felt his lips touch mine ever so softly. That's when my heart restarted, and began to thump loudly.

"I can feel your heart." He smiled against my lips, and I couldn't help but return it, even though I craved to feel his lips on mine again. Without thinking I reached up to touch his cheek, gently moving his face back to mine as I took the initiative and kissed him.

He seemed surprised at first but things quickly changed; his arm wrapped around my waist and pulled me closer, kissing me with an intensity that made it impossible to comprehend any thought that wasn't about him. Our lips moved together slowly, so perfectly, his fingers gently reaching to touch my cheek and stroking it lovingly.

Allowing myself to feel again, I moved my hand from his cheek, to his hair, and slowly around his neck, bringing him even closer. What did this mean?

Was Jacob right? Was I being silly and overcautious? I knew I loved Jake, so what was it? Was I scared?

_No_, my inner voice scorned. _You're still scarred from…_

_From…_

_NO. Forget him._

My thoughts quickly traveled away from the name I forbid myself to think of, and right at that moment Jake adjusted himself, moving over me. I fell back against the pillows with a sigh, we both inhaled before his lips were on mine again, even more passionate then the last kiss. I whimpered softly, winding my fingers through his short hair. It felt a little unfamiliar, but I pushed it aside.

_This is Jake._

His hand crept it's way into my hair, untangling my curls delicately as his lips continued the assault on mine, and I knew I wasn't strong enough to pull away.

He eventually had to, and breathed in slowly before he opened his eyes and gazed upon me. He smiled warmly, as if this was what he desired to wake up to every morning for the rest of his life. My spine tingled pleasurably at the warmth of his body against mine, and I returned his smile.

"Hi." I said timidly.

He gently stroked my cheek and kissed me again, ever so lightly. "Hey." He breathed.

"Did you, um, sleep okay?" I managed to choke out, blushing under the intensity of his gaze. It reflected love, an undying love and admiration that Jake didn't have to vocalize. And because I didn't return the feelings to that very intensity, it seemed to scrutinize me. And I wanted to return his feelings; I truly, desperately wanted to. I knew Jake would take care of me, and I knew he'd always love me. He was my best friend, my everything in this new world of mine.

He chuckled and nodded. "You murmur in your sleep occasionally, but I couldn't make out anything."

I blushed again, more of a tomato red. "Are you sure, or are you just being kind?"

"No, Bella." He insisted, "really. Not one incoherent word, believe me, I tried to make sense out of it, but it was an impossible task."

I giggled at that, and, feeling slightly more euphoric, I reached up and wrapped my arms around his neck. "Thank you for having me stay, Jake."

"You know I love having you here, Bella." He smiled and kissed my nose. "Can I make you breakfast before you go?"

I glanced at his clock by his beside table, remembering I had work at eleven for the lunch shift. It was nine thirty, so I had a little while.

"Sure," I smiled up at him. "I'd love some breakfast."

"Great." He got up and pulled me gently up with him. I grasped his shoulders and smiled at the recognizable scent - Jake's scent.

"You can continue watching the movie from last night." He lifted me up in his arms all of a sudden and I squealed, thrashing around a little.

"Jake! Put me down!"

"No," He teased, heading into the living room and placing me down on the sofa. He tossed me the remote and planted a gentle kiss on my forehead. I smiled my thanks and looked up, "are you sure you don't need any help?"

"Bella." He sighed, as if he'd told me a million times. Which he had. "I don't need help, remember? You do enough for me, you cook a meal for twenty every time I visit you. I want you to stay off your feet for a while and relax, okay?"

"Okay," I smiled at him, unable to stop myself from observing the way his shirt tightened around his abs. He looked breathtaking in the morning.

He headed into the kitchen and I was able to separate my thoughts for a moment, sighing softly. What was wrong with me? Why was I doing this to Jake…why was I saying those things, yet still allowing Jake to kiss me and hold me in his arms the way he does?

Was it my selfishness, the way that every time he held me, I felt whole? I felt as though the stitches no longer bled, and every wound, healed.

Was it wrong of me to desire this, and in a small, undeniable way - was it wrong of me to desire intimacy with Jacob? His six foot six body, warm and strong against my tiny, breakable limbs?

Every time he'd kissed me I hadn't been able to stop, and I couldn't deny at that moment that I was attracted to my best friend, even though he would never be as… beautiful as…._him._

And immediately, I forced my thoughts away.

Not long after, Jake called me in. I got up eagerly and headed into the kitchen. I smiled as soon as I saw the steam rising from the two plates on the table. It smelt delicious.

"Jake, you're a-amazing." I stuttered at the sight before me. He laughed and pulled back my chair for me. "Just call me master chief."

I laughed at that and sat gently in the chair. "Thank you."

"Welcome." He sat across from me and smiled at my expression as I began to eat. As per usual, it was incredible and undeniably delicious.

"Good?" He questioned.

"Great." I smiled, and he beamed. "I'm glad to hear it."

"My friends didn't believe me when I told them you could cook, so I think I'll have to bring them here to you can prove it."

He laughed and looked down, and my heart warmed at the sight. "We'll see, Bella. I'm shy about cooking for strangers."

"You? Shy?" I teased.

"You'd be surprised." He smiled at me and picked at his food. We finished pretty quickly, and I pressed the napkin to my lips, giving him my complements as usual.

"Anything for you," He smiled and reached for my hand, pulling me up from my seat and taking my hand, leading me into the living room. I spun around and instinctively wrapped my arms around him, and his immediately mirrored mine. He pulled me tightly to his body, and I felt his warm breath on my neck. The way he gripped me caused my shirt to rise, and his fingers gently played over the bare skin of my lower back. I shivered, but it wasn't an unpleasant feeling. Quite the contrary, due to the warmth of his touch. He gently kissed my neck and turned his head little by little, till it was in line with mine. He smiled into my eyes, and I saw him glance at my lips. My breathing sped up a little as he leaned forward, and my eyes closed when I felt his lips touch mine.

This kiss was a little different to others, more passion and urgency. His fingers gripped the strands of my hair while the other traced light patterns on the skin of my back. I whimpered in his mouth and returned the kiss with the desire that pitted in my stomach and the love that caused my heart to race. Pulling apart to breathe, we smiled at the same time. He leaned his forehead on mine, still breathing heavily.

"God, Bella. I love you."

I opened my eyes to meet his, and before I could say anything, he placed a finger on my lips.

"I'll wait for the rest of my life to hear those words, Bella. There is no rush. I just…" He sighed, looking down for a moment. I reached up to stroke his hair, waiting till he looked back to me. Seeing the questions in my eyes, he answered, "Bella, do you want this to mean something? Do you want us to have a label?"

"Do you?" I whispered, and he nodded.

"I want you, Isabella Swan."

I shivered and glanced up at him. He smiled at me. "I want you to be everything. I want to be able to proudly call you mine, because I would, Bella. True happiness would come from knowing you and I are officially together, and allowing me to treat you properly, give you a new life, with new people and new situations. A world that maybe….you belong in, Bella. My world."

I blinked back the tears, unable to comprehend. This man wanted me, loved me, would be proud to call me his. He wouldn't be ashamed, he would treasure me as his girlfriend. I didn't doubt that for a moment, yet it seemed so apprehensive.

I knew I loved Jake, but was I willing to open my heart and allow myself to fall in love with him over time?

He kissed my lips gently, no doubt to calm the sea of turmoil he saw in my eyes. My heartbeat thudded in my chest, and that was when I knew my answer.

"Jake…"

"Bella, you don't have to answer me now, I'm sorry I shouldn't have-"

I leaned up and kissed him to silence him, and smiled at how nice it felt. He smiled against my lips and leaned in again, but I stopped him. "Jake…will you ask me?"

"Oh!" He chuckled and touched his hands to either side of my face, watching me with a look of indescribable love and adoration. "Bella Swan, will you go out with me? Will you allow me to treat you the way you deserve, will you allow me to be the guy you dream about?"

I giggled at the generic lines and he smiled, rolling his eyes. "I try, Bella."I smiled widely and wrapped my arms around his neck. "Yes." I murmured in his ear. He lifted me up and twirled me around and I laughed heartedly, gripping onto him. He grinned once he'd set me down and kissed me with the utmost love. "I'll heal you, Bella. I'll make you happy, I promise."

"You already do, Jake." I said softly, laying my head on his chest and smiling contently when he wrapped his arms around me. We stayed like that for a little while.

"You WHAT!?" Alice squealed, wrapping her arms tightly around me. "Oh, Bella! Congratulations, that's wonderful!""Alice," I blushed. "Really, it's -"

"It Is a big deal!" Rose cut in, hugging me from behind. "You're back in the taken bandwagon!"

I giggled at that.

"I knew it was going to happen." Alice tapped her finger to her temple. "Psychic, I told you."

Rose grinned. "Yeah, we should have never bet against Alice."

"Honestly, Bells. You two are really great together." Alice beamed at me. "I think it's really wonderful."

"Me, too." Rose agreed. "It really was about time. We could see how much Jake loved you, but was just waiting for you. That boy is one of a kind. And he's handsome as hell."

I blushed and smiled. "Thanks, guys."

Alice watched me intently. "Are you happy, Bella?"

I paused for a moment, before smiling a little. "Yeah, I am."

* * *

EPOV

"Tanya, not now." I moaned, feeling her curl up against me. Her legs played and intertwined with mine, and I sighed. I just wanted to sleep, I hadn't had a break from class and studying in a while due to exams and I was just tired. And it's not as if I hadn't been giving Tanya what she wanted; she'd always end up on top of me at the end of the day, even to the point where I was now getting a little sick of it.

"Baby, we have got to get up. I have to finish cooking before mum and dad get here tonight."

I sighed and nodded tiredly. I was meeting Tanya's parents tonight, and I was and wasn't nervous. I was because Tanya's my girlfriend, and I guess I should want to make a good impression. But in another way, I wasn't nervous, and I really couldn't explain why. My mind wandered to Bella, and how nervous I was when I met her parents, especially as her official boyfriend. Charlie Swan was someone you didn't want to bump into if you're not on his good side.

_"Edward, relax." Bella rested her hand on my knee, which was shaking sporadically. I sighed and placed mine over hers, intertwining our fingers._

_"I'm sorry."_

_She leaned her head against my arm gently. "There's no need to be nervous. My parents love you."_

_I glanced down at her and kissed her hair tenderly. "They loved me when we told them I was just a friend and that I'd always look after you like an older brother would. I promised them I'd keep you safe from other guys and never let them hurt you. What do you think your father is going to say when he hears I've fallen in love with you? That this was my plan all along; To keep you from other guys so I can have you all to myself?"_

_She laughed softly and I relished in the sound of it. It was beautiful and sweet, just as she was. I never ceased to wonder how I fell in love with her, it was clear to me every moment of every day. I smiled over at her, momentarily forgetting my nerves._

_"What's so funny?"_

_"You." She answered simply. "I love you Edward, but sometimes you are a little silly."_

_"Silly?" I pretended to be aghast. "I'm about to be turned into mince meat by your father and you're calling me silly?" I proceeded to tickle her ribs, smiling at how cute she was when she curled up into a ball. _

_"Edward!" She squealed, trying to pry my fingers away. "Stop, please!"_

_I laughed with her and wrapped my arms around her waist, lying on the couch with her and pulling her closer. I placed a loving kiss on her neck. _

_She wrapped her thin arms around my neck and leaned up to look at her. Looking into those chocolate orbs, I knew there was nothing to worry about. _

_"You're right." I smiled at her, touching my fingers to cheek. "I shouldn't be nervous, and you know why?"_

_"Why?" She smiled into my eyes, playing with the ends of my hair that curled around the nape of my neck. _

_Because I love you. And because even if your father doesn't like me, that's not going to stop me from loving you, and I refuse to let you go, no matter what he does to me. No one is going to stop us from being together, Bella." I intertwined our fingers and kissed her hand lovingly. _

_She blushed and bit her lip. I smiled and rolled my eyes a little, bending now and nipping at her lower lip. "Stop biting it," I murmured playfully. She giggled and blushed the beautiful shade I loved._

_"Sorry."_

_I stroked her cheek lovingly and gently touched my nose with hers, before bending down and kissing her. Her fingers intertwined with my hair, and shivers ran down my spine; pleasurable shivers that only made me think of Bella, and how much I loved her. My mouth opened against hers and she kissed me back just as deeply. I pulled her little body against mine and softly moaned into her mouth._

_"Ahem."_

_We broke apart with a start, and I quickly moved back to allow space between us before glancing behind us. Bella's father stood there, his eyes narrowed into angry slits. I swallowed deeply. _

_"Isabella," He growled. "Kitchen. Now."_

_"Sir," I quickly stepped in, "It's my fault. I didn't -"_

_His eyes turned to pierce mine. "I'd suggest you say as little as possible, Cullen. I had a bad feeling your words meant nothing, but this is the end. Were you not man enough to admit to me what your true feelings were for my daughter?"_

_"It wasn't like that, dad!" Bella defended me, getting up off the sofa. "Edward did protect me, and he never did once try anything on me."_

_"Kitchen! Now!" He commanded angrily._

_Without looking back at me, she followed Charlie to the kitchen. I sat there, covering my head and cursing another my breath. How could I have been so stupid? Ugh. We were in her house, alone. Of course he was going to walk in any time soon. Sometimes I can't believe Bella has such a power over me, that I could love her as much as I did._

_"No? Then why are you together? Did it just 'happen?'" I heard Charlie snarl from the kitchen. I got up and stood next to the doorway without being seen._

_"We fell in love." Bella answered softly, timidly. "We weren't deceiving you behind your back. Edward and I want to be together."_

_My heart beat erratically and burst with an adoration for her. Detecting her love for me in four short words was something I never believed would happen, and hearing it from her mouth now only encouraged me to stand up and fight for her._

_"He is three years older then you, Bella! I will not allow him -"_

_"Him? His name is Edward and I love him, dad."_

_"I don't care, Bella. You may think you love him, but you don't. You both believe you're in love with each other, but you're not, and you must learn to accept this. You are young, and you will find what you believe to be love with anyone you come across. It doesn't mean anything, Bella! He is a man, and men like him only want one thing."_

_"No! Dad, it's not like that!" She pleaded innocently, and I could hear the tears in her voice._

_"Bella, that is the end of it. I said no."_

_He stomped back through the room, making quite a racket. I backed into the family room as he barged in. "Now, listen to me, boy. You stay away from my daughter, do you hear me?"_

_Bella ran in behind him, tears staining her cheeks._

_I glanced at her, and saw the love she had for me in her eyes. That's when my words coursed through me, and I stood up a little straighter._

_"No."_

_His lips quivered. "What was that?"_

_"No, Sir." I stared him in the eye. "I will not remove myself from your daughter's life unless she tells me to. Otherwise, I am hers forever. I love her with everything I have, everything I can give is hers. You must realize that I will never, ever intentionally hurt her."_

_He stared at me, raising his eyebrows. "Is that so?"_

_"Yes."_

_He stared at me for a moment longer, before crossing his arms. "If you do happen to hurt my baby girl Edward, I'll break your neck. Is that clear?"_

_I swallowed. "Perfectly, Sir."_

_"I'm chief of police, do not forget that," He warned me, and I nodded. _

_"You're not threatened by me." He watched me carefully. "Not enough to leave my daughter's side, anyway. If you do not value your life, you must love her."_

_I smiled a little. "I do, Chief Swan. Very much so."_

_He eventually smiled back and held out my hand. "Alright then. Do not, let me see again what I saw before. Understood?"_

_"Yes, Sir."_

_"Take care of her, Edward."_

_"Always." I promised, shaking his. Behind him Bella's smile grew blissfully. I turned to smile at her, and at that she ran into my arms. Pressing her head into my chest, I held her tightly and pressed my lips to her forehead. "I love you," I whispered tenderly. "So much."_

_"I love you, Edward," She mumbled into my chest. "Forever."_

"Edward?"

"Edward!?"

Tanya snapped her fingers in front of my face and lightly slapped my cheek, pulling me out of my minor day dream. I shook my head slightly.

"Sorry, I just…sorry."

She laughed. "You're so out of it, asshole." She teased, slapping me lightly again. I flinched away from her and pressed my head into the pillow.

"I'm just tired, Tanya." I murmured. "You get up if you have to."

"If I get up, you have to as well." She giggled and pulled back the covers. I groaned. "Tanya!"

"No!" She grabbed my arm and pulled me towards the edge of the bed. "Edward, come on. I want us to have breakfast together."

"We always have breakfast together." I moaned, pulling against her. "Just let me stay. Another ten minutes, please."

"You know you love me." She sung in a off-tune tone. "So do it for me."

"Do I?" I murmured to myself. Luckily she didn't hear it. She hit my leg hard.

"Edward!" She whined.

"Alright, alright." I got up and pulled on my boxers, searching for my shirt before realizing that Tanya was wearing it. She smiled at me and posed in a seductive manner.

"Like it?"

"Always." I managed a smile before I opened up the drawer next to my bed and pulled out another shirt. She wrapped an arm around my waist as we headed in to the kitchen.

I noticed what she had pulled out of the cupboard and groaned.

"Not cereal again, babe."

"Edward, I hate cooking in the morning." She stated. "What's wrong with you? Why don't you cook? All you do is lounge around make me do everything."

I turned to stare at her, shocked. "Tanya, that is not true. I keep this house tidy and I pick up after your clothes, not to mention I'm the only one who brings the money in."

She frowned. "Edward, my father is in debt."

"Right, which you casually forgot to tell me until we'd moved all your things in. That's not just something irrelevant, Tanya. You should have told me."

"Whatever." She scoffed, and the light caught on her diamond bracelet I bought her last month. One of many. She had hinted about it for days that I knew If I didn't get it she'd be upset. I loved to make her happy, but I didn't have money to constantly be buying her gifts.

We ate breakfast in silence, and I sighed when I realized I had upset her.

"Tanya," I got up to apologise, but she held out her hand.

"Don't Edward. Ok? Just don't." She shoved her plate to the side and got up. "I'm going to shower."

She walked away, leaving me with the mess of last night's dinner and a sink full of utensils. I sighed, I guess I had my work cut out for me before class.

As I watched her retreating form, I could only help but wonder why, after three months, I wasn't in love with Tanya.

* * *

**Hope you liked it, please review!! Advice or suggestions are always welcome!**

**So Edward is getting frustrated because he isn't falling in love with Tanya and Jacob and Bella are official. **

**And the drama begins!! Edward/Bella confrontations will begin to happen. Alot.**

**Next chapter soon! xx**


	13. Author's Note

I am speechless.

**Firstly, i am so sorry.**

**I am so so so sorry.**

**So very sorry.**

**The most sorry anyone has ever been, ever. Yes i am repeating this, for those who have noticed. **

**You guys have been so wonderful, beautiful, patient and just perfect. I will TRY and justify my absence for the past TWO YEARS?**

**Firstly, i'm now 21, and will finish my degree at university this year - YAY. These past few years have been hectic, because i picked up a second degree and picked up a second job, so i was clearly just happy to kill myself. I don't know how exactly, but somehow i managed and now this year I can take it a little easier. :)**

**I always intended to come back to writing, and i never truly intended to STOP writing, but things get crazy busy and suddenly writing fanfiction just sinks lower, and lower on your list of priorities. I'm so sorry, guys. Over the past two years as well, i've lost two grandparents, and a third one had a stroke only four months ago. It's been so tragic, sometimes it doesn't feel real. The two grandparents i lost last year were mum's parents, and they died within 6 months of eachother. It was a horrible, horrible time for me, between university, study, working two jobs, and trying to be there with my grandparents every day for at least an hour or two at the nursing home...well, you can probably deduce how my life was. Again, i really don't know how i did it. In some ways it was good, because i was so busy i didn't have time to fully comprehend what was happening. My grandmother passed from cancer, and my grandfather died 6 months afterwards, and you know what? The doctors still can't entirely pin a cause of my grandfather's death. He had a weak heart, but he'd been dealing with that for YEARS and he'd survived. But when my grandmother passed away, he lost his will to live. He stopped fighting. You could see it, he never smiled anymore, he was just dead inside. And he even told me a month before she died, that he didn't have anything left, and that he wanted to be with her. Ill never forget that. And a month later, he was gone in his room. His heart had stopped. And the doctor's couldn't determine why, only that it was weak and had finally collapsed. I believe it was will. He didn't WANT to be here anymore, not without his wife. I believe my grandparents are reunited now, and i still tear up when i think of the strength of their love. Married 68 years, ever faithful, ever adoring of eachother. Because of them is why i keep writing instead of succumbing to the grief of losing the both of them within such a short time frame, because i saw how truly powerful love can be. It is all thanks to them. True love is real. Believe it, want it, and you'll find it. I believe it, and i hope to have a love as strong as their love one day. **

So that's enough sentimentality. Again, i apologise for not letting you guys know sooner, for not assuring you all that i would be back. I know i've probably lost some readers, but if you're willing to come back to this story, and my other one - "Say All I Need", then i shall be all to happy to resume them.

So let me know through a review. :)

Love to you all,

Jess.

**Jess.**


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